idolizingdiamond Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 Hi everyone. I'm a 25 year old guy from the UK. My girlfriend has recently been unfaithful towards me for the first time and I am struggling to get over and accept what actually happened. I have forgave my girlfriend and I still love her despite this. I just can't seem to move past it all and I keep on thinking about the other dude who she cheated with. It's like he is living rent free in my head. Any advice, or just having someone to speak with would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all.
Wiseman2 Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 25 minutes ago, idolizingdiamond said: My girlfriend has recently been unfaithful towards me for the first time and I am struggling to get over and accept what actually happened. I have forgave my girlfriend and I still love her despite this. I just can't seem to move past it all Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? What's her excuse for this? How did you find out about it? It seems like you're attached to her but rightfully have your reservations about it. Trust your instincts, you shouldn't just forgive and forget. Reflect if you want this on your shoulders and if she's worth being degraded for and having to look over your shoulder. Unfortunately forgiving is condoning.
Bryanp Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 If the roles were reversed, do you think your girlfriend would be so forgiving and acceptable as you have been? When people show you who they are, believe them.
Author idolizingdiamond Posted December 9, 2023 Author Posted December 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? What's her excuse for this? How did you find out about it? It seems like you're attached to her but rightfully have your reservations about it. Trust your instincts, you shouldn't just forgive and forget. Reflect if you want this on your shoulders and if she's worth being degraded for and having to look over your shoulder. Unfortunately forgiving is condoning. Thank you so much! We have been dating just under 6 years now. She actually confessed to me what happened straight away and her remorse seemed genuine. It's one of the main reasons I ended up forgiving her. Alcohol was involved and it was a moment of weakness. Nothing happening in our relationship built up to this mess. 1
Author idolizingdiamond Posted December 9, 2023 Author Posted December 9, 2023 42 minutes ago, Bryanp said: If the roles were reversed, do you think your girlfriend would be so forgiving and acceptable as you have been? When people show you who they are, believe them. Boring answer, I apologise. But, it's difficult for me to say just because my mind would never venture towards infidelity.
glows Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 (edited) Do you want to say more about the other man? It seems you have things to say on your mind. What is it about him in particular that bothers you? Aside from the fact that she slept with him. I’m assuming she had sex and it wasn’t just a peck on the lips. Who is this other person and is he still in her/your lives? Is it a mutual friend? If alcohol was a problem or factor, what is she doing to limit her intake in future? Does she have a drinking problem? Edited December 9, 2023 by glows
glows Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 (edited) Duplicate Edited December 9, 2023 by glows
introverted1 Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 "Girlfriend" is an audition for the role of "wife" (or partner). I wouldn't recommend casting her. 2
BaileyB Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 11 hours ago, idolizingdiamond said: Thank you so much! We have been dating just under 6 years now. She actually confessed to me what happened straight away and her remorse seemed genuine. It's one of the main reasons I ended up forgiving her. Alcohol was involved and it was a moment of weakness. Nothing happening in our relationship built up to this mess. What has she done to show you that it’s not going to happen again? Has she limited/stopped drinking? Is she no longer hanging out with this group/man? Has she found a counsellor for herself and/or for the two? Those would be the things I’d be looking for before I gave my trust again… Otherwise, if you are having difficult moving forward and you find yourself preoccupied with this other man, I would suggest that you find yourself an individual counsellor. Best wishes.
Commanders16 Posted December 10, 2023 Posted December 10, 2023 Completely understand and relate to feeling incredibly insecure about another guy involved
mark clemson Posted December 11, 2023 Posted December 11, 2023 It's positive that she came clean about it quickly. If it were me and I was going to stay with her, for myself I'd be making it clear that she has ONE strike only, and she just took it, and if it happens again, I'm leaving. If I were feeling too emotionally insecure to leave and be on my own, I'd consider seeing a therapist to help me get past that. Generally, one doesn't want to go through life a doormat just in order to stay in a relationship. But that does happen to some people, including a few who I know.
BreakOnThrough Posted December 20, 2023 Posted December 20, 2023 Move her to the side, use her as a FWB that you don't take seriously at all, find a real woman in the meantime.
stillafool Posted December 20, 2023 Posted December 20, 2023 It's doubtful you'll ever get over her cheating. It will eat you alive. If she were your wife and you had kids I might tell you to try to work it out. Since she's just a girlfriend, let her go and find someone more worthy. You can't trust this one and you never will.
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