shar Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 So I went on date with this guy we been dating for a while now! For some reason he started bragging about a exe that he was so In love with and was engage with! All this I would of did anything for her kind of crap! I felt it was disrespectful to talk about a exe as if you want to be with her! And saying the exe parents didn't want her with him because he wasn't good enough for her! Which i agree!!! So i politely told him I don't want to here about his exe and let's focus on the both of us! When I said that...he start saying I'm insecure infront of some guys that was also at the restaurant so I got my thing's didn't say a word got up and walked away without looking back! I felt I did the right thing he called me insecure but he want to be accepted by people that don't accept him? Was I wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 14 minutes ago, shar said: Was I wrong? No, because he clearly is not over his ex. He was being disrespectful and didn't apologize when you told him you didn't want to hear it. You aren't his therapist. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 21 minutes ago, shar said: i politely told him I don't want to here about his exe and let's focus on the both of us. so I got my thing's didn't say a word got up and walked away without looking back! How long have you been dating? You did the right thing telling him the conversation was inappropriate and walking out when he insulted you, calling you "insecure". He seems like an insensitive bozo. Did you delete and block him after this? At best he's not ready to date, but more likely he has his head up his butt when it comes to social intelligence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 You are not insecure. He was rude to talk so much about an EX. A casual mention of an EX is fine; we all have a past. More than that & especially to the level this guy took it to is too much. You did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 You've been dating him for a while now, and I'm guessing this is the first time you've seen this behaviour. Was he actually bragging? Or was he angry and frustrated at what happened? I can't help but wonder if he is still processing it and thought you'd be supportive ear. Maybe he thought that you'd also had heartbreak and could understand. Though even if this was the case, he should be confiding in a friend rather than you. At any rate, your comment that you'd rather focus on the two of you was absolutely correct. As was your decision to get up and leave when he called you insecure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 7, 2023 Share Posted November 7, 2023 1 hour ago, shar said: so I got my thing's didn't say a word got up and walked away without looking back! Good. This man is not over his ex, and was very disrespectful to you. There is nothing worth saving here. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 I'm curious, what was he saying about his ex that was disrespectful of you? You know men have big egos, l would not have confronted my boyfriend about it in front of people (especially other men) like you did. I would have waited to be alone with him and then calmly address it. That's why he was rude toward you, you hit his male ego in front of other men. Of course it's not right but it's explanable, there was probably alcohol involved too. If you've been dating a while and it's the first time this happenned, why confront him like this in front of people? What was so grave it could not wait later? Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 Was that all he said - he would have done anything for her? What else did he say if you don’t mind me asking? When I hear a guy/someone who has treated their ex well and thought highly of them I tend to think of this as attractive and despite the break up the person can still take the positives and isn’t a jaded person who has lost faith in humanity (in contrast). It’s refreshing and a breath of fresh air. Im curious what else he said for context and have a better understanding whether it was inappropriate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 (edited) 11 hours ago, shar said: Was I wrong? No, he's wrong. I imagine the reason this ex whom he brags of dumped him was because she got sick of him undermining their relationship, because believe me, this behaviour wouldn't just be reserved for you, he would do it to any partner. He does it because he in fact is the insecure one, pumping up his fragile and hungry ego by making his partner feel insignificant. I bet the day his ex announced she'd broken off their engagement her parents probably popped a bottle of champagne and dropped to their knees to offer up prayers of thanks that they'd avoided having an embarrassing primate in the family. Furthermore, I'm proud of you for seeing it for what it was right then and there, I wish all women would react so quickly when some guy they're dating acts like an a**. If they did there'd eventually be less a***s in the dating pool. Edited November 8, 2023 by MsJayne Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 16 hours ago, shar said: For some reason he started bragging about a exe that he was so In love with and was engage with! All this I would of did anything for her kind of crap! I felt it was disrespectful to talk about a exe as if you want to be with her! And saying the exe parents didn't want her with him because he wasn't good enough for her! You were in public and someone else was with you. Mentioning an ex in public in passing is one thing, but this was too much. I would have been embarrassed, wondering what the other people were thinking. I would have also been embarrassed if I had witnessed this. If he wants to talk about his feelings for his ex he can do it with others in private, or with you in private. There's a time and a place - this wasn't it. 16 hours ago, shar said: he start saying I'm insecure infront of some guys that was also at the restaurant Again, embarrassing. And yes, rude. You were under no obligation to sit silently and listen to this without comment, or to stay once he was insulting about your reaction. You were not wrong to feel the way you did and you were not wrong to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Bassthumper Posted November 8, 2023 Share Posted November 8, 2023 That dude was trippin and absolutely has no respect for you. You should have gotten up and "excuse me im going to the restroom" and walked out the back door. That fools a clown..smh Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts