Bunqen Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 Hello Im in a very tricky situation. I have met a woman through mutal friends about 2-3 months ago. I met her out on a club because my friend knew her and i immediately felt a very strong attraction and connection with her. Since then we have been seeing each other almost every weekend among other friends but we have also been hanging out alone. For example we have been going to sports games, went out to dinner and had movie nights. When we have been going out on clubs, she has been sitting in my lap and we have been kind of cuddly, also been holding hands many times. We have also been talking a lot of how we feel that we like each others company and make each other stronger, something I haven´t ever felt before. One night when we were drinking some wine at her place in her bathtub i asked if I can move in with her, to wich she said "yes I would like that, it will be fun" I wasn´t really expecting her to be so direct with her answer but the next day i put my apartment out for rent and im now in the process of renting it out and move in with her. We both want this and have obvisosuly talked about it when sober as well. Last night she invited me over to make some dinner and watch some movies, wich we did. We lay real close to each so our heads touched but we didn´t kiss or have sex. Eventually we both fell asleep and when she woke up she said she was going to the bed and said that I can sleep either in the guest room, stay on the sofa or in her bedroom. Since I don´t want to make anything weird and make assumptions I stayed on the sofa. The thing is, I don´t know exactly what she feels for me, if she feels for me? Am I a loveblind fool to be doing this or should I listen to my heart and move in with her?
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 47 minutes ago, Bunqen said: i put my apartment out for rent and im now in the process of renting it out and move in with her. she was going to the bed and said that I can sleep either in the guest room, stay on the sofa or in her bedroom. Since I don´t want to make anything weird and make assumptions How long have you been dating? Are you just friends? FWB? Are you intimate? How is that you're taking baths together, talking about moving in but you sleep on the soda because you "don't want to make assumptions"? How old is she? This is way too much way too soon. If you don't want things to "get weird", slow down . 1
basil67 Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 Hang on, you shared a bath but not a bed? Is it too late to stop your house being rented out to someone else? 2
Author Bunqen Posted October 31, 2023 Author Posted October 31, 2023 12 minutes ago, basil67 said: Hang on, you shared a bath but not a bed? Is it too late to stop your house being rented out to someone else? Yes we have shared a bath a couple of times actually. Yes I can still stop my apartment from being rented out but I want to be with her.
Author Bunqen Posted October 31, 2023 Author Posted October 31, 2023 21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? Are you just friends? FWB? Are you intimate? How is that you're taking baths together, talking about moving in but you sleep on the soda because you "don't want to make assumptions"? How old is she? This is way too much way too soon. If you don't want things to "get weird", slow down . We haven´t had sex yet. She is 34 and im 27.
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 10 minutes ago, Bunqen said: Yes we have shared a bath a couple of times actually. Yes I can still stop my apartment from being rented out but I want to be with her. Don't move in together. It's too much too soon. Step way back and go on proper dates and get to know each other. If you are not even BF and GF or having sex, why would you want to be her tenant? Stay in your own apartment and get to know each other. 2
d0nnivain Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 (edited) You should absolutely NOT move in with each other. You were way off base asking to move in at such an early stage. Cohabitation is a commitment. It's not a discussion one has until you have been dating for 1-2 years & are wondering if this is person you may want to marry. The whole conversation was way off base & out of left field. The fact that you slept on the couch rather than in her bed shows you are not ready for this. You can't live with somebody as anything other than platonic roommates who do not bathe together if you have not have sex Take the whole thing back. Date conventionally. See how you feel about each other. You need to know this without reservation for months before you move in. WTH were you thinking when you even brought this up. Slow down before you ruin everything. Edited October 31, 2023 by d0nnivain 3
Gaeta Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 6 hours ago, Bunqen said: i asked if I can move in with her, to wich she said "yes I would like that, it will be fun" When people come up with stories like this I always wonder, don't you have family & friends to slap you back to reality? NO it's a very bad idea! You don't move in with a stranger you've known 2 months!! You don't know her! you might be in the streets in 3 weeks or she might be a psycho crazy that poisoned her last 3 boyfriends! Ok Ok it's far fetched but you get the picture!! 3
Versacehottie Posted October 31, 2023 Posted October 31, 2023 slap from reality: um yeah way too soon. if you want to move in with her, think about it down the line, in the future. You two don't even know each other well enough at this point to sleep in the same bed. that's a problem. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 1, 2023 Posted November 1, 2023 On 10/31/2023 at 9:06 AM, Bunqen said: Am I a loveblind fool to be doing this Yes. It's a terrible idea. I know you like her but you are not dating her. You are hooking up, it seems. Moving in makes no sense and would likely end in disaster. Please, don't proceed with this. It's impulsive and foolish. Don't rent out your apartment. Unless and until you two are actually in a solid relationship for at least a year (if not more), do not move in together. Otherwise you might stumble home some night and find her enjoying a bath with some other man.
stillafool Posted November 1, 2023 Posted November 1, 2023 On 10/31/2023 at 4:06 AM, Bunqen said: The thing is, I don´t know exactly what she feels for me, if she feels for me? Why would you ask to live with her when you don't know how she feels about you?
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