brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 just thought itd be nice for people who have stories, of loosing some one they were so in love with...and have actually went through the real deal for a long period...and found hope? its be good to read, for those who hold on hope for their ex's...maybe instead of holding on that type of hope...can hold on to a more realistic type of hope:) any one have good stories:)
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Holding onto hope for your ex is very natural, but that is stage one of a break-up.. when you let go of that you will start moving through the other 3.. From what I've experienced and read it goes Denial (hope) Depression (oh no, they're not coming back for real) Anger (b**tard how could they do this to me) Acceptance (ah well, their loss! Who's next?) I'm now somewhere between 2 and 3.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah i understand people hold done to hope, even when they dont try to...inside they do. but the meaning of the thread i posted...was just to maybe read some stories of ever loving again after a brutal break up( heart ache)... just peoples stories at the end of their heartache and how everything made sence in the end. reading some im sure would help people out and my self.
llvengancell Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 I cant really say i hate them or that there not coming back. I have dated this wonderfully gurl named robin she is 15 for 6 months. She has saved my life but now every thing that we have built and all the planes we have made are in jepordy. She writes me notes still and says she loves me but she was dating 2 other gurls so now im confuesed as to what she wants. I still hold on to her and hold out hope. she dumped the 2 gurls when i asked her i been so messed up latly because of how unsure i am about her. If any one here and help me or give some comfort please post here. I need some one to help me through. Thanks. Mike 19
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 yeah i understand people hold done to hope, even when they dont try to...inside they do. but the meaning of the thread i posted...was just to maybe read some stories of ever loving again after a brutal break up( heart ache)... just peoples stories at the end of their heartache and how everything made sence in the end. reading some im sure would help people out and my self. Oh yeah, I have loved again several times after awful break-ups, sadly they have all ended in brutal break-ups too, you will go through many before you meet "the one", sadly its part of life, and it doesn't get any easier!
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah i guess your right!....life is just one big old heart ache isnt it? how long did it take you to get over them inbetween each one?.... do the obsseive thoughts ware off in time..? ( still can add your good stories after heart break.....if any one has any good ones!)
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 yeah i guess your right!....life is just one big old heart ache isnt it? how long did it take you to get over them inbetween each one?.... do the obsseive thoughts ware off in time..? ( still can add your good stories after heart break.....if any one has any good ones!) 1st one took about 8 months to get over, second one about 2 months, 3rd one about 2 months (then I met someone new) the next one was a biggie, after 2 years of engagement, took me pretty much 2 years to get over, and i just split with my recent girl of a year about 7 weeks ago... Ouch. Sadly for me it never 100% goes until I meet someone new, but I can't do that too soon or it makes me feel worse. But yeah it does get easier with time hun.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah by seeing the time it took to get over each one, i can see that the first one was your first love, the other were no biggie..than the real deal again. its just hard to see the future..when your so caught up in "now"..its difficult to say good bye and close your heart out to some one, thanks
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Yeah that's pretty much right, wierd thing is I don't think I was still even over my ex fiance when I was with my recent girlfriend, and I have only now got over her with this relationship broke down.. very bizarre! Almost like it was fate, when I with my recent girlfriend I still missed my ex (who I ended it with in 2002!) until September this year, now I don't feel anything for her in that way, and am actually back in touch with her again for the first time in about 2.5 years, we've always sent each other birthday and xmas cards. But for some reason when my recent girl split with me I txt my ex-ex and turns out she's just split with her guy who she got with just after me. We're talking pretty much every day now and been to stay with each other for weekends etc. Odd thing is we both have no feelings for each other at all now, its like having one of your closest friends in the world back, and I never dreamed in a million years we'd be helping each other through mutual heartbreaks! Life turns out more odd than you'd ever realise sometimes!!
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah that is very odd! its strange because life can do werid turn abouts...and through my life i have to learn the change of things. yeah itd be werid to think my ex now, would be my friend later in the future and to help me out with other heart breaks...but its good because there still in your life, and not in that" still wanting your ex type of way...but in a good way , not gona hold done to hope that that would ever happen to me, but im kind of excited to see where life" has its big turn abouts haha
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Some people believe you can't be friends with an ex, but you can. I have two friends who are my ex's now, one was just a rebound really and the other one I thought was my soul-mate, but after years apart we're now friends again, and both of those ex's are two of my closest friends in the world now. And if all it took really was me losing this recent girl who I'd been with a year to get the other one back in my life, I do think it was worth it. The girl that was a rebound off my fiance is now like my little sister, she's been with a new guy for almost 2 years, lives with him etc. and she is my best friend in the whole world. So yeah, good things come out of all situations.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah im sure they do, but it just takes alot of time to actually see that, i think its very rare that people who have been together for almost 3 years...just never talk again, i just couldent do that( even if they do have agf now and could possibly be moving)... i hate having to move on, its so sad because this is the first time where ill ever have to close my heart out to some one i love(ed)....excepting it is very difficult.. but every one goes through it right? and to learn at a young age could benifit me possibly.. do you beleive " if things were ment to be...they would be"
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 It is strange some people just don't seem to stay out of your life forever, my ex-fiance always had a special place in my heart obviously and still does to this day, I love her lots, I'm not in love with her anymore (we did split 3 years ago), but it is strange how we're suddenly back in each other's lives. I moved away from the city we lived in after we split cos of too many memories, but now I get the train back there and am going to see her this weekend as it happens, it has no sad feelings anymore. It's just like visiting a close friend now. Although her parents loved me and are convinced and really excited that we'll get back together, and while I admit that would probably be the most romantic story I've ever heard, I can't see it happening, we're both still heartbroken over other people, we both care too much for each other to use each other as rebounds, and we don't find each other attractive anymore in that way. But maybe one day we will, it would freak her out to read this lol, but maybe one day if she is my soulmate we will be together, but I don't think the time is right now, maybe in a few years after we've been with a few more other people, if not I'm sure she'll now be in my life always if only as one of my closest friends. I could happily attend her wedding though if she met a new guy and if she was happy I would be, there would be no jealousy or hurt on my side.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 at the time of being heart broken by her, did you think to your self" im never going to get over this..." and that youll never love again...i bet you never even imagined that you guys could loose attraction...i dont get to move away....and the memories still linger. EVERY where at school, at home down the street...he is moving away and that broke my heart all over again...isnt running away from things just bad? i hope me and my ex could be friends again..i dont like the fact that i have to go through this, while he is moving away really really trying to move on, while i could be pinning for hope.. does your family know that you have no more feelings for her? aw
chocolate_boy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 at the time of being heart broken by her, did you think to your self" im never going to get over this..." and that youll never love again...i bet you never even imagined that you guys could loose attraction...i dont get to move away....and the memories still linger. EVERY where at school, at home down the street...he is moving away and that broke my heart all over again...isnt running away from things just bad? i hope me and my ex could be friends again..i dont like the fact that i have to go through this, while he is moving away really really trying to move on, while i could be pinning for hope.. does your family know that you have no more feelings for her? aw Ah god yeah, I mean I'm hurting at the moment from my current break-up, but it was nothing like I felt when my engagement ended all those years ago. The way I feel now was how I felt a year after that (so I guess I'm over-reacting now, but the current break-up does still hurt and confuse me, but that's another thread). I think your ex moving away will do you the world of good, and the memories will fail, the main problem is being places you haven't been since you were with them, I hate that "last time I was in this cafe we were sat there" etc. Its not my family that are hoping we'll reunite, its hers, my mother believes we will too but she doesn't want me too, thinks she's not right for me, I told her she had nothing to worry about
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 yeah so" what doesnt kill us...makes us stronger".... thanks for advice and sharing your experience it helps alot. atleast your stronger, and can appreciate this pain...because its not as painful as your other one..if that makes sence!
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