lostineverything Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 I'm really struggling to get over this whole situation I'm in We were together for 15 years married for 7. Have beautiful twins ! He was abusing me physically, emotionally and mentally! Yes you may say that I should just get over it what ami looking back at ! I don't know what's going on with me but he won't leave my mind. He left me and the kids with nothing to our name thank gof my family stepped in and I was able to move in with them it's been like this for 2 years now ! He sold the house the car even took my money and walk away. Yet blamed me for him not coming to see the kids he blamed me for the whole marriage brakedown he blamed me for everything. The problem is that I feel like it's my fault that we broke it off . He accused me of being unfaithful when I was so loyal he blamed me for so many things I didn't do. But its definitely not my fault he doesn't see the kids. I have tried so hard for him to be involved and he refused. Yet now he is travelling having fun! I refuse to brake no contact bur I couldn't help and view his accounts from a fake account he is getting married I think Why ami feeling this way ! What do I do ?
Wiseman2 Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 (edited) 53 minutes ago, lostineverything said: I couldn't help and view his accounts from a fake account he is getting married I think Sorry this is happening. Are you legally divorced? Have you petitioned the courts for child support on behalf of your children? He is required to pay child support but he is not required to participate in visitation. Besides why would you want an abuser around you or your children? How do you still have access to his accounts? Please try to focus on your and your children's wellbeing . Edited October 12, 2023 by Wiseman2
Author lostineverything Posted October 12, 2023 Author Posted October 12, 2023 I have tried to get child support but I couldn't because he has nothing under his name so I can get nothing I don't have access to his bank account it's his insta and snap chat that I see things on You are right why do I want him around! I'm not sure if I'm going through a trauma bond ! But I can only think of the good times most of the time which is driving me nuts ! I really really want to move on but feel stuck
stillafool Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 (edited) Do you know his social security number? If so, march down to child support court and turn him in. They will track any money he's making and take it from him and give it to you. He's not seeing his kids because he doesn't want to and I agree why would you want him around you guys when he's an abuser. You know it isn't your fault that he doesn't see his kids so stop blaming yourself. He's enjoying living his life as a single man again. So what if he has another woman, if he gets married before divorcing you he is committing a crime. Have you found a job yet? Edited October 12, 2023 by stillafool
Wiseman2 Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 3 hours ago, lostineverything said: I don't have access to his bank account it's his insta and snap chat that I see things on Please stop scanning his social media. Focus instead on getting your life back together and your children's wellbeing.
stillafool Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 3 hours ago, lostineverything said: ou are right why do I want him around! I'm not sure if I'm going through a trauma bond ! But I can only think of the good times most of the time which is driving me nuts ! I really really want to move on but feel stuck He's been gone for 2 years so it's doubtful he's going to give up his single life and come back. In the meantime, what have you been doing in those 2 years to make you and your kids life better? Are you working or going to school? If not, please start doing those kinds of things to secure the future for yourself and the kids. It will raise your self esteem as well. Pinning for an abuser for 2 years is a waste of your time. If the struggle is too hard request independent counseling to help you.
Author lostineverything Posted October 12, 2023 Author Posted October 12, 2023 Yes I'm working full time and situation financially is l better I can't afford to do counciling just yet I know I shouldn't care or even think about it I just don't know why I feel this way I don't know why I miss him when I shouldn't I know I should focus more on me I have lost a ton of weight and look 10 times better but nothing is helping me so I thought if jump on here
stillafool Posted October 12, 2023 Posted October 12, 2023 10 minutes ago, lostineverything said: Yes I'm working full time and situation financially is l better I can't afford to do counciling just yet I know I shouldn't care or even think about it I just don't know why I feel this way I don't know why I miss him when I shouldn't I know I should focus more on me I have lost a ton of weight and look 10 times better but nothing is helping me so I thought if jump on here I think you are lonely for male attention and that is why you miss him. Have you dated any? What about the divorce?
Author lostineverything Posted October 12, 2023 Author Posted October 12, 2023 No dating and no friends and I work from home full time and been legally divorced for 8 months
stillafool Posted October 13, 2023 Posted October 13, 2023 16 hours ago, lostineverything said: No dating and no friends and I work from home full time and been legally divorced for 8 months You need to get out and socialize so you can meet new people. I'm sure that is why you miss your ex so much because you're lonely. Where is your family?
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