Genod422 Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Please any and all that can help me, do so. I just found this site today after searching sites for heartbreak and such. This is SUPER long. My g/f of a year and a half broke up with me on Friday. She is in her second year at school now, which is about 2 hours away from where we live. I met her in her senior year of high school, towards the very end. I had been out of high school for almost a year, we went to separate schools back home. It took a couple months but eventually we fell in love deeply. She was at times more in love with me and was paranoid and jealous and sooo devoted and I loved it. When she started school, problems started and we distanced but I lived with my mom which was closer to her school and we saw each other more and although we had arguments, we always got through them and grew very close. She didn't really party much in her freshman year and was with me on weekends and holidays and we talked everyday and always said goodnight. I simply can't express how much this girl loved me and how much she showed it, and even this summer when she started to change a bit, she stil knew she loved me. At times in our relationship she has wondered if it was love or if it was just her loving me because I was the best man to her up to that point. This year I transferred to a school near her and she was so excited and I started before her so the first few weeks she was away from me she would call missing me soo much. When she got to school we had some trouble but we agreed to work it out and tried really hard. She didnt have many friends and felt she was missing out on the good times in college. She didnt feel this way too strongly until she went home one weekend and her friends at home must've egged her on. She is really easily influenced. People were making her feel relationships were for when you're older. A few weeks later marked our 1 1/2 year anniversary then a few weeks after that was this past Friday. She started hanging out with a new crew, with guys and girls, one guy that she says is gross but he is like a leech on her. She started going to parties and drinking, something that I originally didnt want her to do without me. I agreed to let her party and drink without me, but I may have been too restricting. Friday she said she wasnt sure if she loved me, even after the week before proclaiming it. She said she guesses she has to break up with me( she had mentioned taking a break a month ago but I denied her) It has been a few days now and she changes her status on her websites to single and says she loves the partying. She contacted me via text asking how i was doing and such and then when i suggested talking on the phone she said she was with a group of people and didnt feel like talking. Monday I talked on the phone with her and it started out wel with small talk but my emotions took over. She said, very reluctantly, that we maybe should move on. I nagged her a bit but apologized and said I would give her her space. She said she did miss me a little when she texted me but that doesnt mean everythings alright. I asked if she wanted to discuss it over dinner but she said it wasnt even a week since we split and she would feel weird and said she needed time for schoolwork, friends, and relaxing. I think she is very confused and kind of feels like since she made her choice she has to go full force with it. She is a virgin by the way and I dont want her getting taken advantage of at a party. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks and I feel when she is away from school I may have more of a chance, what should I do?
Author Genod422 Posted November 9, 2005 Author Posted November 9, 2005 By the way when she texted me was Sunday night, 2 nights after we broke up. After I spoke with her Monday she seemed pretty cold but in her journal she said Monday night she cried. My friend tells me to give her space, I was her first love and she is a virgin and I have done everything possible except sex with her and she will realize that she misses me, is this true?
escapesher Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 I just want to tell you that I understand. My ex girlfriend and I fell in love senior year of high school and got together before college started. Once college began, however, things started to gradually change because we each went to different schools. My ex was also easily influenced by others. Without me there all the time to remind her who she really was, she kindof lost herself. She started drinking a lot, doing a lot of drugs, hanging out with really trashy people... College changes a lot about people and long distance relationships during this time are very hard to figure out. There are constant outside influences and there's definitely the idea that college = partying and getting wasted all the time...tons of people fall right into that trap. That's not to say that partying is a bad thing, but it shouldn't become who she is. It's definitely hard to deal with. If she really loves you then she will find a way back to you...but do NOT smother her. As exciting as drugs and drinking and partying may seem to her...that buzz does not last forever and none of that can truly replace a loving person in her life. Hopefully she is intelligent enough to realize that, but you have to let her figure it out on her own. Hang in there...you seem pretty calm but just take it as it comes for now and don't let her walk all over you. --Katie
lilmoma1973 Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 [b] Be patient if it is meant to be she will be back if she don't come back she never was!! Don't let her know that you miss her go on with your life and act like you are enjoying it without her that will make her come back!! The more you call her the more she will know you miss her!! Good luck:D
AtarisKid Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Wow man, what your going through is exactly what i am going through, my x and i met her senior, things were great through the summer and up untill she went to her first year of college, now all she does it drink and party and hasnt even tried to hang out with me, i know how you feel man, everyone else is right, if she really wants to be with you, she knows how to find you, if its meant to be then its meant to be, if not, then you just have to move on, there are plenty of people out there, trust me, give it time, things will fall into place...
Author Genod422 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 The advice you guys gave me is the advice I have gotten from everyone and I am sure it is right. The thing is I transferred to a school in her city and now I am here alone and it is hard to make friends or do thigns to get time off of my hands. She likes to party and drink but not this much and I don't know why she changed so much. I feel since she is a virgin she won't give it up to some random guy but that worries me too. When I spoke to her Monday I mentioned that if she ever gets interested in someone else to let me know when we talk. I also told her tha if she ever decides to get back with me I realized how I was and would try to be what she wanted. Sounds desparate but it was the 3rd night we broke it off and Im sure she understood I was upset. Hell the friday we split she wasnt planning on breaking it off with me, its just when I asked her why she had been acting different. Katie above said not to smother her and she will find her way back if sheloves me. I feel all the outside influence changed her mind and somewhere inside of her she still loves me but everyone has confused her so much and she may try to find someone else. I ask, with Thanksgiving being in 2 weeks, and Xmas break being 2 weeks after that, we would both be at home away from the college influence, should I try to mend things then? I so badly want to talk with her but I am trying to be patient...just not knowing what she is doing and who she is with and how she is feeling kills me. My friend said not to worry and she'll come back and she is not looking to get with someone but I just am so scared. I know eventually I could move on but this girl is truly special and may be going with a wrong decision and not her heart and eventually could think her heart changed :-(
downcydeguy Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 To be brutally honest, it's not looking too promising for you. Today's society is beyond brainwashed that it's wrong to be in a serious relationship while in college, thus 99% of girls and guys think they will "miss out" on something if they don't stay drunk and sleep around the whole time. Especially the first 2 years anyway. And being a virgin??!! You can be assured that she's gonna fall into the category with many other girls having bad "first times". Don't contact her at all until Thanksgiving break. Ask her to meet you one final time. You can then tell her how much you love her but do not want to push her away. So you will give her all the time she needs. Then it's on with your life man. Good luck.
brittanyjean259 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 im sorry this must be very difficult....but if she is still a virgin( she could have high moral beleifs)...and if she does happen to give it up to some random guy....over her love...i pity that...thats very sad...so you shouldent feel hurt by that much over it if you look at it from that perspective..... im sure she loves you very much, but she knows in her head she has you to go back to...and that youll always be there...witch of course makes this very easy on her...to just be like" i think we should move on"..next time she says that please dont beg...i promis you...you will push her farther away.... trust me....her college life wont erase you, what you guys have is much deepper...give her , her space...and make some new activities for your self...honestly i thought people their senior year and junior year partied enough to where they were in college...theyd experience alot more than just" partying>...."...if you think about it partying is pointless...it should be with your friends and all that... ya kno? good luck listen to my advice and others trust me on it
Author Genod422 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 She told me she wanted to wait until marriage. I know alcohol and single people don't mix and she could very well lose it in a bad way. I think she is totally making a wrong choice and I am worried. When you say to wait until Thanksgiving, do I call her on Thanksgiving or when the break starts. Being without her is brutal and I don't want to become a nobody in her life but every day that passes drives me more crazy and I feel so badly like I need to talk to her again, I worry when she goes out and parties and I will take her back even if she dates around and doesnt sleep with anyone, and I know no matter what guy he is not going to want her for her personality. This hurts so bad.
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