Should I reach out to her?

[noname1353]

This girl, that I used to work with, and i started talking February. And we used to talk almost everyday. It almost seemed like neither wanted the convo to end. 

We didnt hang earlier in the year until one day she visited me at work one day. She had lost her job and i didnt want to put too much on her plate. 

We did hangout twice after that as well. The first time the vibes were amazing and it felt good but tbh i felt like i wqs exhausted after that day.

The second time didnt go as well as the first. It did feel different but i wouldnt say it went bad. 

She said she had a good time and when i asked that we should do it again, she basically said yea but it might have to be until after August. 

I told her to message me whenever shes down. I havent heard back from her since.

Shes working in her field and im trying to get my life together. If im being honest im not happy where i am at life and my confidence is lacking. And im pretty sure shes aware of that. 

Nevertheless, i really fancy this girl shes amazing and And i [ ]  suck at dating.

Part of me thinks i should not message her because i dont want to come off as pushy

 

Edited October 7, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Maldives]

How long has it been since you went out last contact? 

If it's been a while follow up and ask her out. Contact her to arrange a date rather than chit chat back and forth.  I mean sure say hello lol etc then get straight to it and ask her out

Edited October 7, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[noname1353]

End of July. It kinda does feel like she's not interested. I think if she was she'd message me

[glows]

If you’re not confident about your life in general and have a negative mindset this isn’t going to work anyway. Be realistic here. At every point dating will feel like a struggle while you feel tired or that people aren’t interested. You say she likely knew about you and not feeling good about yourself and that’s a turn off for a lot of people. 

Try working on your self-esteem and personal situation. Are you employed and have your own place? Something to consider. 

[smackie9]

6 hours ago, noname1353 said:

End of July. It kinda does feel like she's not interested. I think if she was she'd message me

Ding Ding! Yes you are correct. So many use that out of a job excuse. It's up there with the dog ate my homework. 

[noname1353]

2 hours ago, glows said:

If you’re not confident about your life in general and have a negative mindset this isn’t going to work anyway. Be realistic here. At every point dating will feel like a struggle while you feel tired or that people aren’t interested. You say she likely knew about you and not feeling good about yourself and that’s a turn off for a lot of people. 

Try working on your self-esteem and personal situation. Are you employed and have your own place? Something to consider. 

That's my catch 22. This girl is amazing. She's charming, she challenges me, she's smart, has a good sense of humor. Going after her has made me considered a lot things about my life and where I am at. 

But I also have this dark cloud over my head. I do have a job but make minimum wage. I don't have my own place since I live with roommates. I am working to get to a better place but it's going to be a while to get to where I want to be. I also a lot of insecurities due to where I am at life among other things. I think that while I might have a lot of red flags they're big enough to want to make someone run the other way. And I think she's aware of that - although anyone would. 

I will admit it does come off as a I want to my have my cake and eat it too. Maybe I will just leave her alone. If I really like this girl, I wouldn't waste her time and be selfish. But ngl it f--king hurts 

[noname1353]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

Ding Ding! Yes you are correct. So many use that out of a job excuse. It's up there with the dog ate my homework. 

Maybe it's for the best. I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. At this point in time 

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, noname1353 said:

But I also have this dark cloud over my head. I do have a job but make minimum wage. I don't have my own place since I live with roommates. I am working to get to a better place but it's going to be a while to get to where I want to be. I also a lot of insecurities due to where I am at life among other things. I think that while I might have a lot of red flags they're big enough to want to make someone run the other way. And I think she's aware of that - although anyone would. 

Listen I feel like the big thing that is holding you back is this "dark cloud" and feeling bad about yourself. It is affecting the way you approach life---like you are being passive because you sort of expect the worst in life--which is a direct result of you feeling hopeless currently. So you need to get this under control. I'm sure it's affecting more than just your romantic prospects. Here's the thing, you could be a guy making minimum wage and living with roommates but feels good about himself, in terms of your character, what you have to offer and knowing it's just a stepping stone to where you are headed.  There are lots of guys out there who have similar exterior circumstances, such as working at a minimum wage job and living with roommates but they don't have the same interior experience (mental thought patterns) so likely have different outcomes in life right now. You can too. But you have to work on your self-esteem and perhaps depression (sounds like that could be going on). 

I don't agree that she would reach out to you if she was interested. She could have been waiting on you. Going on societal norms, she might be expecting the guy to take the lead. And one has to wondered why you didn't work with the momentum you had...I think your mindset is affecting your mood, and perception of things. You are acting very passively rather than going for what you want. On societal norms, a guy is more in the driver's seat to seize the momentum and take advantage of it. And also it's just not very attractive that someone needs reassurance to "move forward" with something. It conveys the message to others that you are either not interested yourself or not in the place to date or lack the self worth to pursue what you want. So remember that in the future. If I were to guess, this one is done now because July is too long ago. That said, if you worked on yourself and had a significant mindset shift, then you could try again with her. But I emphasize SIGNIFICANT. 

What do you want to do with your life? Career-wise, lifestyle? Thinking about those things and working toward them should give you more purpose and help you see that your current life circumstances are just a stepping stone. And no shade if that's what you end up doing, ie staying in a lesser paid job but devoting yourself to another goal in life such as a life of service or some other pursuit  (but from what you said I don't think that's what you value--I could be wrong).

[glows]

You know lots of people date having roommates… It’s another thing altogether if you’re expect people you’re dating to live otherwise or have other requirements when you yourself don’t meet those. You sound down to earth and aware of your areas for improvement (if you want change) but might want to dial down the negativity on yourself or current circumstances.

Are you happy with the way you look? Feel good about your appearance and what you can offer dating or to a potential SO? Give it a bit more thought. Sometimes all it takes is a little change of perspective and knowing where you’re headed. Versace has a very good point about being clear with yourself where you want to be. 

[noname1353]

5 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

Listen I feel like the big thing that is holding you back is this "dark cloud" and feeling bad about yourself. It is affecting the way you approach life---like you are being passive because you sort of expect the worst in life--which is a direct result of you feeling hopeless currently. So you need to get this under control. I'm sure it's affecting more than just your romantic prospects. Here's the thing, you could be a guy making minimum wage and living with roommates but feels good about himself, in terms of your character, what you have to offer and knowing it's just a stepping stone to where you are headed.  There are lots of guys out there who have similar exterior circumstances, such as working at a minimum wage job and living with roommates but they don't have the same interior experience (mental thought patterns) so likely have different outcomes in life right now. You can too. But you have to work on your self-esteem and perhaps depression (sounds like that could be going on). 

I don't agree that she would reach out to you if she was interested. She could have been waiting on you. Going on societal norms, she might be expecting the guy to take the lead. And one has to wondered why you didn't work with the momentum you had...I think your mindset is affecting your mood, and perception of things. You are acting very passively rather than going for what you want. On societal norms, a guy is more in the driver's seat to seize the momentum and take advantage of it. And also it's just not very attractive that someone needs reassurance to "move forward" with something. It conveys the message to others that you are either not interested yourself or not in the place to date or lack the self worth to pursue what you want. So remember that in the future. If I were to guess, this one is done now because July is too long ago. That said, if you worked on yourself and had a significant mindset shift, then you could try again with her. But I emphasize SIGNIFICANT. 

What do you want to do with your life? Career-wise, lifestyle? Thinking about those things and working toward them should give you more purpose and help you see that your current life circumstances are just a stepping stone. And no shade if that's what you end up doing, ie staying in a lesser paid job but devoting yourself to another goal in life such as a life of service or some other pursuit  (but from what you said I don't think that's what you value--I could be wrong).

That dark cloud is one of the main reasons why I think I should just let it go. And you're right, I don't feel good about where I am in live. I am trying to work towards that. The job is a temporary thing while I study for the LSATs. 

I probably should have added context to the roommate comment. I don't think having roommates is a bad thing considering the ridiculous high cost of living. However, I have roommate that are really messy. I decided to move out of my parents somewhat on a whim a few years ago. So it's more I'm ashamed of my living conditions. I would be embarrassed to have her or anyone I was dating over. 

I do suffer from anxiety but I'm not so sure about the depression. I could possibly be without realizing.

I am making changes in my life that can help me bring up my self-esteem. Which has been an underlying issue my whole life. 

Maybe I took her agreeing with me that she would message me if she wanted to hang to literally. And if I'm being honest, during the whole time we were in contact I probably came of as insecure because I was. Had I not had all those insecurities I would have asked her out a long time ago. But I was scared it would made her run the other way. 

Writing this I think it's best I leave her alone because as of right now, I don't want to waste her time. I also don't want to be selfish and come into a relationship with too much baggage. 

[noname1353]

5 hours ago, glows said:

You know lots of people date having roommates… It’s another thing altogether if you’re expect people you’re dating to live otherwise or have other requirements when you yourself don’t meet those. You sound down to earth and aware of your areas for improvement (if you want change) but might want to dial down the negativity on yourself or current circumstances.

Are you happy with the way you look? Feel good about your appearance and what you can offer dating or to a potential SO? Give it a bit more thought. Sometimes all it takes is a little change of perspective and knowing where you’re headed. Versace has a very good point about being clear with yourself where you want to be. 

Well I should have added context to the roommate thing. My roommates are messy. My house isn't tidy. I used to have the belief that why should I clean up after them but I also want to get into the habit of being clean. 

I am trying to stop my negative thinking and be more positive. 

Interestingly enough, I am starting to change my appearance and dress a bit better and it has slightly improved my confidence. At the same time I'm trying to work on my mental health. 

A chance with this girl might be long gone but I don't want to be fool and miss out on something that can potentially be good

[Versacehottie]

2 hours ago, noname1353 said:

That dark cloud is one of the main reasons why I think I should just let it go. And you're right, I don't feel good about where I am in live. I am trying to work towards that. The job is a temporary thing while I study for the LSATs. 

I probably should have added context to the roommate comment. I don't think having roommates is a bad thing considering the ridiculous high cost of living. However, I have roommate that are really messy. I decided to move out of my parents somewhat on a whim a few years ago. So it's more I'm ashamed of my living conditions. I would be embarrassed to have her or anyone I was dating over. 

I do suffer from anxiety but I'm not so sure about the depression. I could possibly be without realizing.

I am making changes in my life that can help me bring up my self-esteem. Which has been an underlying issue my whole life. 

Maybe I took her agreeing with me that she would message me if she wanted to hang to literally. And if I'm being honest, during the whole time we were in contact I probably came of as insecure because I was. Had I not had all those insecurities I would have asked her out a long time ago. But I was scared it would made her run the other way. 

Writing this I think it's best I leave her alone because as of right now, I don't want to waste her time. I also don't want to be selfish and come into a relationship with too much baggage. 

 Well I don't know if I viewed it that you feel bad about where you live--I certainly didn't judge you like that. I think you put pressure and expectations on yourself that perhaps no one else expects you to live up to. Idk, if you are under a certain age, it's beyond normal to work for minimum wage and live with messy roommates. It can even be fun and a rite of passage--just depends on how you frame it in your head and how it is presented when you speak about your circumstances. Some people will choose to focus mostly on the positive of that situation, ie being with good friends and fun laughs etc and the good chaos of it all and others will only see negative and like they are not a "finished" product. IMO, no one expects you to be a finished product. You can look up some of the research on how you can have high expectations for yourself and yet still be quite happy and able to enjoy life where you are right now. That is key to a good life IMO (and so they say).  Humans are extremely adept at moving the target (lol that is not the right saying but you know if you have one goal then you will set another one further out, sorry I'm lost tonight). If you keep "waiting" for this moment where you will be some perfect specimen where you can "share" yourself with the world/a potential romantic partner/etc., that moment is never likely to come..Even if it comes somewhat you probably will have missed out on a majority of life if you think like that. You need to be able to find a way to enjoy life as it is, while simultaneously striving for the things you want to go after. 

Wow, I was surprised to hear LSATs...That's a good goal and career goal.  I  didn't think you talked like someone with something like that in mind. But now that you've said it, perhaps it makes sense in terms of you being a guy who puts way too much pressure on himself and expectations are so high  (or some versions of perfectionism) where you don't appreciate where you are right now. I think there are several books about this but you have to be careful about setting external goals, such as a specific career, income level, even the perfect wife bc then a person can completely fall apart if they don't come true or don't work out as expected, such as a divorce, getting laid off, fired, feeling unhappy in your career etc. Plus all these things require that the outside world cooperates and gives you what you seek to be DEFINED by. Much better to learn how to be the person you want to be in a value-aligned way, which may be expressed by being a lawyer but can be expressed in other ways as well. If you do a value-aligned/character-aligned self, then you can "BE" that person today and are not dependent on the outside world cooperating. You can exhibit those good traits of yourself to others before you pass the LSAT, get accepted to law school, pass the bar, make partner. Maybe a part of this is identity stuff. I think lots of us do this--where we look to outside things to define us or help explain who we are because it's an easy shorthand and it often seems quicker, more impressive to some to show it that way. What is that saying: the moment of victory is too short to only live for that (lol something like that). I would apply that to life/this situation.

ok on the practical side, you definitely have stuff from an external perspective that you are working on. That's impressive. If there is a reason for your position in life that equal a plan to better yourself, I think most people appreciate that.  (most that I know do a lot!). So you have a plan about career and in turn that affects finances. Sell the dream, baby. Lol that is the best way to position yourself: "I've got a dream I'm working toward and it's going to be good for me and my future family".  You don't have to say the second part--it's implied..."you want in or you want out?" or just "you want in?" (won't sidetrack you with the "is the other person worthy of being let in but let's just assume they are for sake of this discussion). Ok, so flesh out the rest...you want a girlfriend and you'd feel best if you had more control over your living space so you could have her over or at least some like-minded roommates in terms of cleanliness. Ok set a goal, work toward it. Sell the dream. If you are down on where you are in life, how can you sell the dream of you? So the first thing you need to do is flesh out your dreams and get excited about them. Obviously if you need to work on your mental health that will play a role. A person can fake it to an extent but I do think it comes through in some way or another if you don't really get behind it truly in your own head (no one can fake it that much).

ok with the bolded, the phrasing you used here sounds like self-esteem stuff which you already know, anxiety as you acknowledged and yeah maybe some depression. I think you should try to get some professional help. Idk if it's affordable but try to find some low cost therapy or something like that. Here's the thing as you are describing this you sort of say it like you are 'ready' because your self-esteem is suffering, you are baggage, etc. So what if the next great opportunity in some form comes along? How are you going to be ready realistically? You don't want to look back and spiral even further because you are adding regret to the mix. IMO a lot of the self-esteem, anxiety-depression stuff is mirrored by the negative thinking which you admit to (TBH, it's in your wording over this thread and even your screen name). I'm pointing it out because it a reflection of how you see the world and YOUR OPPORTUNITIES in it. If you believe you are capable and the world is hopeful, it will come out in your speech/writing/actions you take or don't take.  You can reverse engineer it sort of (carefully) by experiencing stuff and making helpful explanations of the experience and result. So one way you don't want to say stuff is to make it permanent, ie any setback is a temporary state (ie bc you have a plan and believe in yourself and even if you don't have a plan, you believe you can figure it out). You don't want to make it pervasive, ie your living situation, ie having messy roommates doesn't equate to you being a loser, it's just your roommate situation, which is strikingly normal; you would CONTAIN the explanation to just exactly what it is not who you are, ie it's my living situation, it's not the entirety of what i'm about. Lol I could go on but this is quite a lot to take in. Idk here's also why I think it's crucial for you--you are just starting out in life and have a lot to look forward to but why are you thinking so negatively? That indicates to me that you probably need to address it right away. 

2 hours ago, noname1353 said:

Interestingly enough, I am starting to change my appearance and dress a bit better and it has slightly improved my confidence.

This is great...obviously better appearance helps you feel better but also another good takeaway is that FORWARD MOTION will usually improve your confidence in anything. Take action. It will almost always improve your self-esteem. I think if you have perfectionist tendencies, they can be paralyzing, which can mean you get stagnant and don't live life. which Ironically is what happened in part with the girl. I mean, what IS the worst that would happen IF she turned you down and wasn't interested? You have to risk to get what you want. You can overthink and sort of stew in this thinking about yourself and just feel worse and worse or you can take action. I think you need some coping skills so you aren't in danger of mischaracterizing the outcomes of 'trying",,,but yeah a combo of these things would help. Good luck 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, noname1353 said:

I don't want to be fool and miss out on something that can potentially be good

But OP, you can't "miss out" on anything when the other person isn't expressing mutual interest anymore. 

You would have heard from her by now if she wanted to see you. The fact that she's been silent is your answer, so I would  not bother reaching out. She just isn't into you that way, unforunately. 

[d0nnivain]

Good grief.  You need to improve your self confidence.  Law is a cutthroat competitive field.  You are not going to survive without a killer instinct.  

As for the girl, it's October.  You told her to get in touch with you in August, 2 months ago.  She didn't.  She may have been off put by the suggestion that she initiate.  If you want to spend time with her, reach out.  Somebody has to make the 1st move & it's clearly not going to be her.   

She's not going to care about your roommates.  She's not going to care that you have a minimum wage job, especially if you are prepping to go to law school.  Nobody has a fabulous enviable job at 1st.   

[noname1353]

On 10/6/2023 at 8:03 PM, Versacehottie said:

 Well I don't know if I viewed it that you feel bad about where you live--I certainly didn't judge you like that. I think you put pressure and expectations on yourself that perhaps no one else expects you to live up to. Idk, if you are under a certain age, it's beyond normal to work for minimum wage and live with messy roommates. It can even be fun and a rite of passage--just depends on how you frame it in your head and how it is presented when you speak about your circumstances. Some people will choose to focus mostly on the positive of that situation, ie being with good friends and fun laughs etc and the good chaos of it all and others will only see negative and like they are not a "finished" product. IMO, no one expects you to be a finished product. You can look up some of the research on how you can have high expectations for yourself and yet still be quite happy and able to enjoy life where you are right now. That is key to a good life IMO (and so they say).  Humans are extremely adept at moving the target (lol that is not the right saying but you know if you have one goal then you will set another one further out, sorry I'm lost tonight). If you keep "waiting" for this moment where you will be some perfect specimen where you can "share" yourself with the world/a potential romantic partner/etc., that moment is never likely to come..Even if it comes somewhat you probably will have missed out on a majority of life if you think like that. You need to be able to find a way to enjoy life as it is, while simultaneously striving for the things you want to go after. 

Wow, I was surprised to hear LSATs...That's a good goal and career goal.  I  didn't think you talked like someone with something like that in mind. But now that you've said it, perhaps it makes sense in terms of you being a guy who puts way too much pressure on himself and expectations are so high  (or some versions of perfectionism) where you don't appreciate where you are right now. I think there are several books about this but you have to be careful about setting external goals, such as a specific career, income level, even the perfect wife bc then a person can completely fall apart if they don't come true or don't work out as expected, such as a divorce, getting laid off, fired, feeling unhappy in your career etc. Plus all these things require that the outside world cooperates and gives you what you seek to be DEFINED by. Much better to learn how to be the person you want to be in a value-aligned way, which may be expressed by being a lawyer but can be expressed in other ways as well. If you do a value-aligned/character-aligned self, then you can "BE" that person today and are not dependent on the outside world cooperating. You can exhibit those good traits of yourself to others before you pass the LSAT, get accepted to law school, pass the bar, make partner. Maybe a part of this is identity stuff. I think lots of us do this--where we look to outside things to define us or help explain who we are because it's an easy shorthand and it often seems quicker, more impressive to some to show it that way. What is that saying: the moment of victory is too short to only live for that (lol something like that). I would apply that to life/this situation.

ok on the practical side, you definitely have stuff from an external perspective that you are working on. That's impressive. If there is a reason for your position in life that equal a plan to better yourself, I think most people appreciate that.  (most that I know do a lot!). So you have a plan about career and in turn that affects finances. Sell the dream, baby. Lol that is the best way to position yourself: "I've got a dream I'm working toward and it's going to be good for me and my future family".  You don't have to say the second part--it's implied..."you want in or you want out?" or just "you want in?" (won't sidetrack you with the "is the other person worthy of being let in but let's just assume they are for sake of this discussion). Ok, so flesh out the rest...you want a girlfriend and you'd feel best if you had more control over your living space so you could have her over or at least some like-minded roommates in terms of cleanliness. Ok set a goal, work toward it. Sell the dream. If you are down on where you are in life, how can you sell the dream of you? So the first thing you need to do is flesh out your dreams and get excited about them. Obviously if you need to work on your mental health that will play a role. A person can fake it to an extent but I do think it comes through in some way or another if you don't really get behind it truly in your own head (no one can fake it that much).

ok with the bolded, the phrasing you used here sounds like self-esteem stuff which you already know, anxiety as you acknowledged and yeah maybe some depression. I think you should try to get some professional help. Idk if it's affordable but try to find some low cost therapy or something like that. Here's the thing as you are describing this you sort of say it like you are 'ready' because your self-esteem is suffering, you are baggage, etc. So what if the next great opportunity in some form comes along? How are you going to be ready realistically? You don't want to look back and spiral even further because you are adding regret to the mix. IMO a lot of the self-esteem, anxiety-depression stuff is mirrored by the negative thinking which you admit to (TBH, it's in your wording over this thread and even your screen name). I'm pointing it out because it a reflection of how you see the world and YOUR OPPORTUNITIES in it. If you believe you are capable and the world is hopeful, it will come out in your speech/writing/actions you take or don't take.  You can reverse engineer it sort of (carefully) by experiencing stuff and making helpful explanations of the experience and result. So one way you don't want to say stuff is to make it permanent, ie any setback is a temporary state (ie bc you have a plan and believe in yourself and even if you don't have a plan, you believe you can figure it out). You don't want to make it pervasive, ie your living situation, ie having messy roommates doesn't equate to you being a loser, it's just your roommate situation, which is strikingly normal; you would CONTAIN the explanation to just exactly what it is not who you are, ie it's my living situation, it's not the entirety of what i'm about. Lol I could go on but this is quite a lot to take in. Idk here's also why I think it's crucial for you--you are just starting out in life and have a lot to look forward to but why are you thinking so negatively? That indicates to me that you probably need to address it right away. 

This is great...obviously better appearance helps you feel better but also another good takeaway is that FORWARD MOTION will usually improve your confidence in anything. Take action. It will almost always improve your self-esteem. I think if you have perfectionist tendencies, they can be paralyzing, which can mean you get stagnant and don't live life. which Ironically is what happened in part with the girl. I mean, what IS the worst that would happen IF she turned you down and wasn't interested? You have to risk to get what you want. You can overthink and sort of stew in this thinking about yourself and just feel worse and worse or you can take action. I think you need some coping skills so you aren't in danger of mischaracterizing the outcomes of 'trying",,,but yeah a combo of these things would help. Good luck 

Thank you so much for your feedback. I do put a lot of pressure on myself and I'm always my biggest critic. You have given me a lot to think about. 

I don't think I mentioned this but this girl is three years older than. So that's also why I am very critical of myself recently. Not only do I feel behind, but especially when I was going after her. Girls do tend to be more mature than guys so to me the age difference sometimes felt more than the three years. And it made me feel ashamed of where I was in life. she knew of my employment, situation, and dreams/goals. I guess I could have handled it differently. 

There's no point on crying over spilt milk and only learning for this.

Once again, thank so much for your feedback I really appreciate it

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, noname1353 said:

Thank you so much for your feedback. I do put a lot of pressure on myself and I'm always my biggest critic. You have given me a lot to think about. 

I don't think I mentioned this but this girl is three years older than. So that's also why I am very critical of myself recently. Not only do I feel behind, but especially when I was going after her. Girls do tend to be more mature than guys so to me the age difference sometimes felt more than the three years. And it made me feel ashamed of where I was in life. she knew of my employment, situation, and dreams/goals. I guess I could have handled it differently. 

There's no point on crying over spilt milk and only learning for this.

Once again, thank so much for your feedback I really appreciate it

Thanks so much! hope it helps. Here's the thing about her age or in the future anything that you feel about a person in comparison to you. Those "limitations" are only limitations if we see them like that. In reality, it could be a neutral factor or even a bonus or advantage. It all just matters how you are able to frame it in your mind. Rather than worrying about POTENTIAL issues which haven't even been expressed, ie wait until she tells you that she's ready to buy a house and have babies and then you are dealing with a factual issue of being at a different life stage perhaps...and then you work on a compromise or see if you are at an impasse. 

You can't be afraid or try to avoid points of potential friction in life. Because they will always come up. Try to control what you can control which is you...get clear on what you want and more confident so you can express those things to another and work them out. I think people with self-esteem and confidence, almost always believe there is "a way". They are even fine sometimes if that means leaving the relationship in the past because they feel that is part of 'the way", ie reframe it in your mind as such: "there must be something better out there for me and Im sure I can find it".

[glows]

Just keep working on yourself and take the good too. As mentioned above a lot of it sounds like growing and rite of passage. This is just what you’re going through now but it is not who you want to be forever. You’re a work in progress so keep at it.

Maybe make a bit more effort to get in touch with other LSAT students or link up with a student law association or take part in socials and other events. I’m assuming you have an undergraduate degree or access to events etc via your alma mater or other resources. Meet others in the same boat, do some meet and greets and networking, meet people and see how they juggle school, exams, work and dating or personal lives. It will give you more confidence as you see others dealing with stress and working on themselves too. You’re not alone in this.