Older dating younger

[Ranger722000]

Please tell me I,m crazy.  I,m in my late 40’s…..she is 21.  We met via work just as friends yet have a great time hanging out….as friends.  She is young and beautiful and fun.  How wrong am I to possibly pursue this as more….even though I know it’s never going to go anywhere in the end….and that’s if she is actually interested in more.  Certainly friendships can grow into something more, but perhaps before I take any further steps I should just end this.  Any comments are appreciated.

[Lotsgoingon]

Hard one. But hey, if you met her at work, then you want to know and remind yourself that everything you do with her will come out at work.  Young people talk and they post obsessively on social media.

So even if you're not breaking a company policy, just be aware (even if she's in a different division) that it's very likely this information will come out and may indeed affect your career. Though she's clearly an adult, a lot of people, especially women, consider the age gap you're describing as one that lends itself to predatory behavior on your part. She's going to be far more naive and far more vulnerable than you are. You will know all kinds of tricks and lines and fake lines to lead and persuade and manipulate her. 

Question: describe the good times and hanging out you've done so far. 

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Ranger722000 said:

  We met via work just as friends yet have a great time hanging out….as friends, but perhaps before I take any further steps I should just end this.  

Do you work together?  Are you  in a supervisory position? Or were you a customer where she works?

Does she have a BF? Go to university? Live with her parents?

It's fine to have a crush however depending on the circumstances, it may not be a good idea to pursue her.

Edited September 30, 2023 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

I am mid 50s with a mid 20's daughter.  Like @Lotsgoingon suggested, I am hard wired to protect girls and young women from what can appear to be predatory behaviour.  It comes from the predatory behaviour I experienced as a young woman from more than one man.  I don't want todays young women to go through some of the things which I did.   So you know what I'm going to say.

However my husband is a pretty sensible guy, so I asked him.   He said that if you know it's not going to go anywhere, what's your end goal?    He also wants to know if you've thought about this from her position

Edited September 30, 2023 by basil67

[basil67]

I forgot to say:  Husband also said that the fact you're questioning this means you probably already know the answer.

 

[glows]

Are you married or single? I’m an old fart who has been down a few roads. In her position many years ago I got bored of older men like you after a short time but the thrill was there. Ie If he’s an old daddy and I snagged him I’ve got something going on. (It was more like a whole lot of nothing. Just inflated ego.) The reason I lost interest is because I eventually lost respect for such men - why couldn’t they attract women their own age? What was wrong with them? Etc.

This is not to say it won’t work out but the workplace situation complicates things. Surely you place some importance in your career. That respect for you in an older age position may come crashing down eventually, as mentioned above. Just something to keep in mind.

[stillafool]

I've noticed there seems to be a lot of very young women going for men in their 40s and 50s lately.  When I was a young girl there may have been 1 girl out of 100 who was attracted and involved with an older man.  That girl was kind of homely so people understood why she seemed to settle for such a large age difference.  Now I'm wondering if it's because there are so many single moms a lot of these girls did not grow up with a father in the home; so now they are looking for him in the men they choose.