Should I have my son quit a sport

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Dad2349 said:

Emailed the therapist and no feedback. Uf being 12 is old enough for him to talk to his mom himself about this?   

Hopefully your son has a good relationship with his mother and can express his thoughts feelings and needs.

Obviously the coach can confer with your son's mother at any time since she is his mother and has an equal say in his education, extracurricular activities, and healthcare or anything that could affect his physical and mental health.

As far as the child's therapist, please do not email. As you know therapists are bound to confidentiality and there are laws regarding electronic communication.

If you, as his father, wish to comfer privately with your son's therapist you'll have to make an appointment and discuss your son in person.

[Acacia98]

Is it possible for you to consult both a legal expert and a psychologist on these issues? I feel like you really need the expert opinions of people with whom you can go into great detail about the specifics of your son's situation. 

And I think you would also benefit from making an appointment for individual counselling for yourself. It can't be easy dealing with everything you're having to deal with.

[JTSW]

15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Hopefully your son has a good relationship with his mother and can express his thoughts feelings and needs.

Obviously the coach can confer with your son's mother at any time since she is his mother and has an equal say in his education, extracurricular activities, and healthcare or anything that could affect his physical and mental health.

As far as the child's therapist, please do not email. As you know therapists are bound to confidentiality and there are laws regarding electronic communication.

If you, as his father, wish to comfer privately with your son's therapist you'll have to make an appointment and discuss your son in person.

The child doesn't have a good relationship with his mother and she doesn't care about her child's wellbeing.

She doesn't allow him to play tennis, doesn't abide by the court ordered therapy sessions (she doesn't take him to his appointments at all).

If she cared about his physical and mental health she would do all these things for him, but she doesn't.

She has a new family that she is more concerned about and the boy is just the scapegoat in her house.

He has already emailed the court ordered therapist regarding her refusal do abide by court ordered rules.

Edited September 5, 2023 by JTSW

[Wiseman2]

On 8/28/2023 at 6:00 PM, Dad2349 said:

We have 50/50 custody. he is seeing a court ordered psychologist.  

Was the custody determined by the courts after the court ordered psychologist evaluated your son and both you and his mother?

Was the psychologist appointed by the courts or hired by your or her attorney? 

The courts are there to protect  child and the psychologists are often involved in high conflict divorces to determine what's best for the children.

Contentious divorces can be very damaging to children which is is why your son may have continuing behavioral problems. 

Edited September 5, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Dad2349]

6 hours ago, JTSW said:

The child doesn't have a good relationship with his mother and she doesn't care about her child's wellbeing.

She doesn't allow him to play tennis, doesn't abide by the court ordered therapy sessions (she doesn't take him to his appointments at all).

If she cared about his physical and mental health she would do all these things for him, but she doesn't.

She has a new family that she is more concerned about and the boy is just the scapegoat in her house.

He has already emailed the court ordered therapist regarding her refusal do abide by court ordered rules.

A.  He has a tough time talking to mom.  She tells him “yes. We will see!”  Then it turns into a no.  Over and over and over. 
 

b. I get the feeling  that many of these therapists or gal’s are often times women , and often times divorced. They spent 12 years in college, never played a sport, and they don’t have time for their own kids to play a sport.  So I feel like I actually call into question their parenting without knowing it. 
 

c.  As his therapist said to me “what’s the problem?  He can play more at 16-17 when he gets a drivers license and car.  Which makes absolutely no sense.  
 

d. As for going through courts, it’s a gray area.  It depends on the therapist, the judge, the attorneys etc.   and even if I got an extra day somehow, if mom wants to make it miserable for the boy on her time, it’s not helpful. 
 

e. So that’s the position we are all in.  He has worked so hard for 3 years to become good at something, and only showing more and more drive, but mom won’t allow or acknowledge it.  And being a half time player is becoming difficult.  We started when she was gone so it is hard to believe she will return to pretend like to doesn’t exist.  
 

it’s tied to his social life, nutrition, grades , fun and fitness.  So if it is taken away, it seems the rest will be a slippery slope.  
 

f.  And as for my involvement I agree!  Every tennis player and parent has went through this.  The get to an age where they need more independence, and I pulled back when it comes to watching and critiquing. Speaking to many of the other parents they go through similar things.  Playing under 10 and 12 is different than playing 14’s. 
 

 
 

 

 

Edited September 5, 2023 by Dad2349