How to move on from love bombing

[Jazz123]

Any coping strategies to stay strong in the aftermath of an intense relationship which involved a lot of love bombing? The whole time I was convinced I was in the best relationship possible because of the way he put me on a pedestal, and then out of the blue he left telling me he still loved me etc and has tried to re enter my life since. He succeeded briefly before running off again and now he is blocked on everything and I am having a really tough time coming to terms with what happened to me. On paper it is all clear cut-he is toxic and I need that out of my life. But my feelings are all over the place, yearning for the ‘good’ that he brought even though I know it wasn’t genuine or real. Help! 

[stillafool]

Well the first step is to block him and yourself from any contact.  Good you've blocked him.  Work out, eat good and keep yourself as busy as possible.  Take a class or start a new hobby, go on a mini vacation if time and money permits.  If after doing any of those things and you still can't move forward after a month or two seek a therapist to help you get over him.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Jazz123 said:

 out of the blue he left telling me he still loved me etc and has tried to re enter my life since.  On paper it is all clear cut-he is toxic and I need that out of my life..

Sorry this happened. How long were you seeing each other? How old is he? Were either of you in another relationship or on/off with someone or recently ended another relationship? 

How was the relationship overall? Were there disagreements?  Besides coming on too strong and disappearing and reappearing, what other aspects were toxic? You did the right thing blocking him.

[Weezy1973]

The reason the love bombing worked on you is because you likely struggle with self-worth. So having someone fall madly in love with you feels really good, and pushes down those feelings. It’s like a drug - and  you’re currently experiencing withdrawal. You just need to stick with no contact, and then investigate the core issues that make you susceptible in the first place.

[Ageless Wisdom23]

Keep in mind the things he did to keep you on a short shoe string.  Call him a Loser and move on.  Let someone else experience the bombings.  I feel you.

[Alpacalia]

You did the right thing by blocking him and recognizing the toxicity of the relationship. It takes time to heal and understand where your emotions are in relation to what you have experienced so give your heart, mind and soul the time and respect they need to begin to understand and process what happened.

What made you think it was the best relationship based on the way he put you on a pedestal? Once you get to the place where you can recognize the toxicity of this relationship, focus on the positive things you have, like your friends, family and of course, yourself. Make sure you have proper care for yourself, whether it’s talking to a professional, journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend.

In the context of your boyfriend, he might have initially experienced these emotions but they might have faded over time. Alternatively, he could have genuinely felt this way, but as the relationship has matured, the intensity of these feelings might have diminished.

'Lovebombing' differs somewhat. It usually involves someone showering another person with excessive attention or affection, often with an ulterior motive or a desire to fill a void. Once they achieve their goal or satisfy their emotional need, they tend to abruptly withdraw or distance themselves from the other person.

[glows]

You lovebomb yourself? Girl. You don’t need a guy to do that. Book a spa day. Take a trip somewhere. Go on a tour. Buy yourself flowers and jewellery. What are you doing getting someone else to do this for you? Go on and spoil yourself.