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Self hate and loathing


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Posted

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice... I'm currently in a long distance relationship, with no clear end in site. That hasn't been such a problem as I really love this man, and he loves me. We want to make it work despite him living on the other side of the world!

 

On the weekend I went out and drank, way too much. I ended up sleeping with someone. This is something I've never done before. I don't know what to do, I just hate myself so much. I didn't eat for days and had to go to hospital and I'm currently trying to get into couselling. I haven't told my boyfriend, and I hate to because I can't do it face to face and explain things. But I'm not sure if I can live with this guilt. I can't even handle having friends see me because I feel so dirty and such a bad person.

 

Anyone know how to deal with guilt? I'm not sure how to get past this. I can't eat because I don't feel I deserve to, I can't work because I can't function. I so don't want to hurt this wonderful man. But I'm not sure if I can live with someone (me) who's done something like this.

Posted

All you did was make a mistake. At least you haven't had 2000 young people killed in a war. You may not have realized that you'd do such a foolish thing when drunk. Now you know and you know to never ever get drunk. As long as you haven't picked up a disease, you will survive this.

 

Now forgive yourself - people make stupid mistakes all the time. Making a mistake isn't horrible - not learning from mistakes is horrible but you certainly have learned so quit beating yourself up.

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