What do you think about the saying ' opposites attract'

[Kassieee]

For those who are in a relationship, is your partner the opposite of you personality wise, are you both introverts or extroverts?

 

[Alpacalia]

I am introvert. My boyfriends have all been extroverts. 

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I am introvert. My boyfriends have all been extroverts. 

Edit. Read wrong 

Edited August 11, 2023 by justaskingok

[basil67]

I'm an introvert, my husband is an extrovert.  We compromise

[Alpacalia]

Anyone remember this tune?

 

[glows]

Introvert

Divorced all the extroverts

[mario_C]

If you can find common ground and have respect for each others' differences, it could work. A "woke" liberal shouldn't date a "MAGA" Republican, that wouldn't work because they hate each other! But if you hate, say, jazz and they love jazz, then you could totally make it work. You need to find times where you can indulge those interests the other partner hates, and you each have to respect each others' differences in opinion and not step on each others' toes. It's hard work...is it worth it?

[Kassieee]

So- those of yous that ended up with their partners being the opposite... do you think it just "happened" that way. Or because opposites truly do bring out the best in eachother and mesh better?

[Alpacalia]

Well, won't speak on past relationships, but the current one I am introverted and boyfriend is extroverted and he is at times a bit non-understanding of how I process things.

Because of that, we tend to go through periods where he is needing a bit more from me and I am unable to process them as quickly as he would like. I am more of a sensing type so he needs to give me a bit of extra time to process my thoughts and feelings.

I can't really answer your question because it depends on the specific people involved and their individual personalities. A lot of relationships do thrive on differences between partners, but this isn't the case for everyone. Politics for instance, I am pretty center so don't want to be with someone extremely far right or far left so that disagreements don't arise.

Then again, people usually thrive on some similarities so that both parties can relate and understand each other.

Group conformism comes to mind. Where the same people tend to stick together? Even if we don't necessarily have similarities in opinions, people will naturally flock to groups with similar interests, backgrounds, and personalities. It's like finding someone who you share history with or form a bond over a common interest. Differences can show that someone can stretch you and help you grow, as well as deepen your understanding but in the end, the best relationships may form when there is a balance of both similarities and differences.

[mark clemson]

Every couple/relationship is a bit different. Opposites sometimes attract and people's skills/abilities/tendencies complement the others'. Opposites also sometimes repel or eventually grind away at the health of a relationship to the point where it becomes untenable.

One case of seemingly opposite(-ish)s attracting is Avoidant and Insecure attachment style relationships. These relationships seem to have a tendency to endure despite "friction" generated by the attachment styles.

However, there is definitely no hard and fast rule to make generalizations on. It's going to very much depend on the specific people and the specific differences involved.

Ultimately a relationship boils down to a choice (whether to continue it). If opposite qualities/differences are sufficient to make one or both partners choose to not continue it, then the relationship ends.

Edited August 11, 2023 by mark clemson

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, justaskingok said:

. Or because opposites truly do bring out the best in eachother and mesh better?

I never believed in that saying.  Seems more like incompatibilities than "attraction". 

[basil67]

8 hours ago, justaskingok said:

So- those of yous that ended up with their partners being the opposite... do you think it just "happened" that way. Or because opposites truly do bring out the best in eachother and mesh better?

This is too binary.  Yes, we have significant differences, but we also have many similarities.   In reality, some of the differences create frustration. Some of the differences are helpful.  And our similarities make it all enjoyable. 

If a couple was opposite in all things, they'd hate each other.  

[Weezy1973]

Most people aren’t compatible and attraction has an approximate correlation of 0 to compatibility. Most couples are actually quite compatible and not opposites. Extrovert vs introvert does not make people opposites. There are so many characteristics that people have, to truly be opposite or close to opposite of someone, they would almost definitely be from a different culture and have a completely different world view and different core values than yourself. In which case you probably wouldn’t last very long in a relationship at all.