CantDecide... Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 So yea im really confused. Its been 4 months or so since my ex and I broke up, and 2 months since it was like officially ended, like no more friends. Ive been doing my own thing and quite frankly have been doing very good. dont talk to her ever unles i run into her or something. Took her off my BL, out of my phone, took down her pics, more or less erased her from my life in every aspect. ive been partying and clubbing, hanging with some georgeos woman. doing things to stay healthy, hanging with new people but... Everytime i hear her name my stomach turns to nots. If i see her car my stomach just gets all notty. IVe told my friends not to mention her name or anything about her unles shes in trouble, but people who dont know will be like o so i know *****, or yea i saw ***** the pother day. like it just gets me all feeling like sh*t. I dont really miss the girl, i dont mis the relationship. i dont spend all day thinking about her and crying. For the most part im ok, but now and then i just get bugged out, how can i just push past this last hurdle. anybody else feel this way?
pioneer Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Yeah, i have this exact problem, and weve been split over a year, and in that year shes met someone else and brought a house with them. But like you say, if i hear her mentioned my heart stops for a few seconds. I think its to do with worying about what ur going to hear that she is up to. I know what mines up to but it still bothers me. You are worried that she is doing better that you i think. I fear more than anything bumping into my ex now, and i really hate it if any of my mates speak to her. I expect you will lose that feeling when you meet someone else you love. It hasnt happened for me yet and thats probably why i still get that feeling. Good luck
Author CantDecide... Posted November 9, 2005 Author Posted November 9, 2005 yea that is why my hear stops for a few seconds cuz i am worried waht im gonan hear. i dunno, i dont know what shes doing and i like it this way, i know she doesnt really have anybody knew probobly nothing more then some random drunk hook ups just like myself. blah, should i email her just to say hey...were on that level her and I...what do u guys think?
In Sync Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Unless you broke up with her and have whole heartedly changed your mind and want to work things out...yeah call her. If you didn't and she broke it off. NC. I was lousy at NC in the beginning and paid the price and suffered even longer because I chose to remain in contact with someone who broke it off with me. It does nothing but screw up the person who is heartbroken even more by receiving e-mals that lead no where. And sending them to someone who dumped only signifies to them how much you still want them in your life.
escapesher Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Yeah, what was just said: If she dumped you, stick to NC. I have the same problem...I'm really doing great in my life without my ex but every time I know there's a possibility of running into her or every time I hear her name I feel like I'm jolted. As long as we still feel like that, we aren't ready to contact our ex. There WILL come a time when we can hear their names and maybe even see them and not have knots in our stomach...but we aren't there yet. So don't call her. I also agree that you might have to fall in love again to really stop feeling those knots. Either that or just give it more time.
Author CantDecide... Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 you know the question of did she dump me? am i the dumpee?...well yes i am the acual dumpee but the thing is, right after we broke up, we were basically still together minus the sexual part, we did everything together like movies, dates, phone, IM, u name it. After a while i was like wtf am i doing...and was lke ok you know what no, just leave me alone i dont want yourfriendship anymore its just not working for me, she said it was like us breaking up all over again, so technically she broke up wioth me, but i eneded it, and when we did break up, it was kind of like a mutal thing evan though she actually dumped me. ive always been confused on that aspect...anybody have any insight
pippen_2k Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Read the other 1,000 threads on this subject and you will get all the insight you need. Im sure you have been a member here long enough now to know how these situations work out. Yes! she dumped you and then continued to be a so called friend ( I use this term loosly ). You still hanged out etc but there was no longer that comitment, so she could bail anytime she wanted really.. especially when she met someone else. The best thing you possibly could have done is what you did.. and thats cut her away. Screw hanging around half heartedly untill she meets someone else then gives you the cold shoulder! What a waste of time. Sometimes we already know the answers ( which im sure you do ) but we dont wanna accept that we have lost our loved ones for good... so we come here looking for people to say ' yeah ring her ' or ' your still a chance ' when we know we aint... so NO DONT CALL HER! Thats her job if she is interested and knows she made a mistake. Its hard to accept at first but with time it gets easier. Dont befriend the person that breaks your heart.
scobro Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 Yeah, i have this exact problem, and weve been split over a year, and in that year shes met someone else and brought a house with them. maybe its just me and I am biased but it seems like the woman always seems to run off in the sunset with a new life and not hurt at all.Dump and move on like its no biggie.
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