Thought experiment

[JasonLevi]

Let’s imagine all adult heterosexual men were ranked according to physical attractiveness and then all adult heterosexual women were ranked similarly. (Some algorithm was used taking into account facial symmetry, height, body shape etc).

Then each man and woman was matched up. (Assume they haven’t learnt of each others’ personalities yet, but the matchmaker wanted to check that they’re happy with the physical match).

Which side would be more disappointed?

(Note: Of course, I understand the counter that physical attractiveness is subjective, but you can imagine this process being run 1000 times using different criteria.)

[basil67]

What about those of us who care more about personality than looks? 

(I'm female)

Edited July 31, 2023 by basil67

[JasonLevi]

Then I assume you would not be disappointed i.e., you wouldn’t care at all about his looks and would be keen to find out more about his personality. 
 

That doesn’t answer the question though. Have another crack at it. 

[Alpacalia]

The answer is 25.

[basil67]

No, I think you nailed it.  I would not be disappointed and would like to get to know who they actually are.  And generally speaking, I have always dated pretty much in my own league.    So there's one point for a woman not being disappointed.

I can't begin to speak for the rest of my gender, nor the opposite gender

Edited July 31, 2023 by basil67

[Alpacalia]

I've dated men that I felt were more attractive in other areas besides 'looks.'

So, I suppose view my 'league' as a spectrum, and not a strict definition. I reckon the gentlemen could feel let down since they usually desire a partner whom they consider to be "out of their reach."

I suppose that, generally, women are more open-minded and appreciate that beauty comes in many forms (internal and external), while I find very few men physically attractive.

That said, I do find those with an underlying charm and genuine kindness quite alluring.

Edited July 31, 2023 by Alpacalia

[MsJayne]

I would say women. I say this because most women I know catch on very quick if a male lacks personality/character/intelligence regardless of physical attraction, whereas most men I know will date a woman who's an axe murderer with no brain for as long as it takes for them to tire of having sex with her or until she turns the axe on them. But I'm not sure I even understand the question. 

[Alpacalia]

Not necessarily that men are more physically driven.

I am going to put my science hat on 😂 and say that it would depend on the existing gender norms in the culture in which the matching process took place.

If physical attractiveness was held to a greater value in the culture, then it is more likely that the men would be more disappointed if they weren't matched with the most attractive women.

On the other hand, if physical attractiveness did not have the same level of priority or was already somewhat expected among the women, then the women might be more disappointed.

But if you look at in the wild, birds, and other animals, then it's typically the males who are trying to stand out from the crowd to attract the females and so it is likely that the men would indeed be more disappointed.

[Weezy1973]

I think it depends if people could see the options they didn’t get matched with or not. If they don’t see the other options, I don’t think most would feel any disappointment, be it men or women. If they see the other options I suspect it would be about equal with most being a bit disappointed, but likely also feeling somewhat grateful they didn’t get matched with someone “below” themselves. 

[Gaeta]

Women would be more disappointed as they need more than beauty to connect. 

[Versacehottie]

women would be more disappointed because if we are only using looks as the variable---there are better looking women than men in aggregate....So if you ranked Men 1-100 on looks and women 1-100 on looks, at around the middle (maybe sooner), guys will keep getting a good looking woman but women will get someone that they feel is not their league looks wise, prime dating age calibrated.

To take the experiment a step further, it would be interesting to sort of remove some of the "fake" things that women do (a luxury that most men don't have), that sort of trick men into believe the woman is a "good-looking one". (I see that a lot and it's funny.)  Like rank for bone structure, facial symmetry, physique and then take the temperature. Lol, I think a lot of guys would perhaps be surprised. 

To be fair to both sides, I think it's impossible to remove personality, status and other compatibility (values, goals, intelligence) stuff from the mix--even if you control for varying looks preferences. Like you could objectively rank people on facial and body attributes and golden ratio for face and perfect ratio for body (i forgot what it is but like .7 W to H), but it won't necessarily match up to what people "like" and want to be with. That's a multi-factored soup of a lot of variables, momentum, etc. 

For the record I've met guys that I can say are objectively gorgeous that didn't interest me romantically. 

 

 

[stillafool]

Wouldn't age have to be factored into this?  If so, I think men would probably be more disappointed because most single older men go for younger women.  

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, Versacehottie said:

women would be more disappointed because if we are only using looks as the variable---there are better looking women than men in aggregate....So if you ranked Men 1-100 on looks and women 1-100 on looks, at around the middle (maybe sooner), guys will keep getting a good looking woman but women will get someone that they feel is not their league looks wise, prime dating age calibrated.

To take the experiment a step further, it would be interesting to sort of remove some of the "fake" things that women do (a luxury that most men don't have), that sort of trick men into believe the woman is a "good-looking one". (I see that a lot and it's funny.)  Like rank for bone structure, facial symmetry, physique and then take the temperature. Lol, I think a lot of guys would perhaps be surprised. 

To be fair to both sides, I think it's impossible to remove personality, status and other compatibility (values, goals, intelligence) stuff from the mix--even if you control for varying looks preferences. Like you could objectively rank people on facial and body attributes and golden ratio for face and perfect ratio for body (i forgot what it is but like .7 W to H), but it won't necessarily match up to what people "like" and want to be with. That's a multi-factored soup of a lot of variables, momentum, etc. 

For the record I've met guys that I can say are objectively gorgeous that didn't interest me romantically. 

 

 

oops I should also add, that personality can't be factored out because whether it's sooner or later, even if you are dating one of the objectively handsome guys, some exposure to their personality or lifestyle might turn it into a no-go for you--that's happened to me for sure. And I know my guy friends have said that even when they were with a specific gorgeous girl that there were things they discovered along the way that absolutely could not overcome the fact that they did not enjoy their time with her and she was more trouble than she was worth. I'd say that scenario happens to guys more often and they will often overlook a dud personality if the girl is hot. And women will often overlook very poor treatment specifically towards them from a boyfriend if they consider him hot (sometimes he isn't but for whatever reason they've deemed him so).

[mark clemson]

Look forward to seeing how this plays out on the next Black Mirror go-round (if there is one)...

[Ami1uwant]

18 hours ago, JasonLevi said:

Let’s imagine all adult heterosexual men were ranked according to physical attractiveness and then all adult heterosexual women were ranked similarly. (Some algorithm was used taking into account facial symmetry, height, body shape etc).

Then each man and woman was matched up. (Assume they haven’t learnt of each others’ personalities yet, but the matchmaker wanted to check that they’re happy with the physical match).

Which side would be more disappointed?

(Note: Of course, I understand the counter that physical attractiveness is subjective, but you can imagine this process being run 1000 times using different criteria.)

There has been research/studies on this and measuring attraction.  Thry have found similar attraction levels tend to come together.