Gaeta Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: I just don’t like being lied to is all. People lie, You come across liars today and you'll still come across liars in 50 years. Don't get all worked up over a virtual man. Move fast, get interested in men that want to give you their time and attention. Someone doesn't answer your text then delete them & move to next. You do that 200 times if you have to. 1
Author GoodVibess Posted July 27, 2023 Author Posted July 27, 2023 28 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Yeah I don't know why you're sweating this much over one guy on a texting app....when there's many guys out there. I’m just not attracted to guys who are actually “interested” in me at all. It’s unfortunate.
stillafool Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 1 minute ago, GoodVibess said: I’m just not attracted to guys who are actually “interested” in me at all. It’s unfortunate. What is your type?
Author GoodVibess Posted July 27, 2023 Author Posted July 27, 2023 1 minute ago, stillafool said: What is your type? I’m into men with tattoos, dark hair, and tall. Only because I have tattoos myself and I’m more comfortable with someone who has tattoos. In the past, I’ve been rejected for having them. This guy isn’t exactly my type, he does have tattoos and is tall but he’s a red head lol. I still found him attractive, he has good style in his photos. Looks aren’t everything of course and I don’t go based on looks. If they’re a good person and i’m attracted then why not. But he also didn’t start the conversation with sex or even mentioned it like most men do. Maybe i’m just not his type and that’s okay.
Alpacalia Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 55 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: I previously posted a question about a guy and this is the same guy. I texted him “If you’re interested in meeting, we can schedule a day to meet” he replied with “And I'm cool with that most definitely I want you to know with my work I I'm not aloud to be in my phone but I'll be done around 2 so I'll text you and we can talk more“ I replied with “Thanks for letting me know, sounds good” It is now 4pm and he hasn’t texted. Is it best to remove him? You've only spoken a few hours earlier. Try not to get so anxious over a 2 hour delay. 1
Wiseman2 Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 1 hour ago, GoodVibess said: I'll be done around 2 so I'll text you and we can talk more“ I replied with “Thanks for letting me know, sounds good” It is now 4pm Try to relax a bit. Maybe he stopped off for groceries, who knows? 1
Author GoodVibess Posted July 27, 2023 Author Posted July 27, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Try to relax a bit. Maybe he stopped off for groceries, who knows? I don’t know but he texted me “Hey” not sure what to reply.
stillafool Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 19 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: I don’t know but he texted me “Hey” not sure what to reply. Reply, "Hey, are you now off work and have time to talk?" 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 1 hour ago, GoodVibess said: I don’t know but he texted me “Hey” not sure what to reply. A poop emoji? Kidding. He's not very talkative, is he? If this hey, yo, hey back and forth is getting old already, just drop it or send equally lame emojis. 2
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 3 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I previously posted a question about a guy and this is the same guy. I texted him “If you’re interested in meeting, we can schedule a day to meet” he replied with “And I'm cool with that most definitely I want you to know with my work I I'm not aloud to be in my phone but I'll be done around 2 so I'll text you and we can talk more“ I replied with “Thanks for letting me know, sounds good” It is now 4pm and he hasn’t texted. Is it best to remove him? Um I need to catch up with the whole thread buttttt....based on just your initial question (as well as your other similar thread about him), I'd say that is too much of a knee jerk reaction and is just a result of your anxiety or insecurity. Lol, the fact that he spelled allowed as "aloud" is cause for you to remove him haha but that he didn't text you within a 2 hour window is not. I'm joking, of course, about the spelling mistake but hopefully he knows the difference. Here's the thing--obviously we want people to keep their promises to us...especially if you are considering embarking on a potential romantic relationship with the guy. But at the same time, neither of you are each other's priority yet. For one, I would take his statement to read, that you will hear from him SOMETIME after 2pm (maybe even "someday" not TODAY) not that you will hear from him AT 2pm. Also just being smart--wouldn't you rather talk to him after he's had a chance to unwind and in the right mood to talk to you by choice? Rather than immediately after work when he's still in that mode? Sure, I get it wanting a guy to be excited about you but at the same time you will learn as much from what he doesn't do as what he does. Like for example, if he is loose stuff, more easygoing or whatever---I'm not making judgement, just observing, as you should be, that these are good things to know about a person to see if you would be compatible or to see how to "understand" them and also set reasonable expectations. Right now, I don't think your expectations are totally reasonable. Even more than that, I don't see why you'd want to be perceived as desperate or chasing in any way. If you temper your expectations like a girl with a lot of options, then you are more likely to be perceived that way--especially by someone who has very little other information to go on!! I don't think it's normal BTW that you guys have already been in a "fight" when you haven't even met or dated even once yet. Way way way too much pressure and angst over this. You could remove him if you are this rigid and high-strung but I think you are going to continually run into versions of this problem, no matter who the person is. IMO you need to put things into perspective and chill a bit. How silly would it be if you keep cutting people or potential people out of your life if they don't follow a narrow set of expectations that you have that doesn't take them into consideration and really isn't the best for you either? 1
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2023 Posted July 27, 2023 so he's now made contact but not very creative with his conversation? IMO that's either the result of the previous "fight"; or he's got low interest in you; or he doesn't have much personality or not a great texter. BTW all this can be related or it can all be true...such as if you guys bickered over messages before, he might not be that motivated to be in touch with you--feels like an obligation rather than something he wants to do...he also may have previously been more interested but lost interest due to the "fight" or perhaps he's never been that interested in general (i think it's the former since he was open enough to match with you and then fight with you and STILL was in touch, albeit reluctantly or in a boring manner). Like a lot of anxious people, you seem to be assuming his interest level will remain at one level and that stuff you do won't affect it..that's wrong, it can affect it good OR bad. It's a matter as well of what inputs you keep putting in. There's no way the fight helped IMO. And he can be affected by both the fight and vacillating interest level in you, as well as be a boring or low effort person... He's gathering intel on you and you should be on him. "hey" isn't that enthusiastic--however, being that you guys already had a fight about contact and communication, I think you should show your best at the right level of a texting conversation at the beginning and see what happens. This doesn't mean overdo it, nor does it mean go huffy or retaliate on him thinking he's put in low effort so you should as well. Think of it as gathering info: if you have a quick but engaged or enthusiastic in your way reply and he's still boring and seemingly uninterested, then I'd say you have enough info to make a decision. I just think you should do this for your own peace of mind or practice or knowledge without being so worried about the outcome. How hard is it for you to send a text that will take a couple of minutes max? Try not to get a chip on your shoulder about what he's doing/done or whatever or get insecure about what it means and how it will turn out. Give your best and if he can't rise to your good level, then you can feel great walking away. Honestly, I think that's a good way to approach pretty much everything. (in perspective, of course)
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 5 hours ago, GoodVibess said: It is now 4pm and he hasn’t texted. Is it best to remove him? Unfortunately if you're going to block everyone who doesn't reply asap, you're going to be alone a lot. 1
Author GoodVibess Posted July 28, 2023 Author Posted July 28, 2023 59 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately if you're going to block everyone who doesn't reply asap, you're going to be alone a lot. He texted me back and we’re supposed to call tonight lol. 2
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 (edited) 31 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: He texted me back and we’re supposed to call tonight lol. Good. Hopefully it's more than yo, hey, yo, hey talking on the phone. Maybe he's not a big texter. That's ok. You really don't want someone who's got their face in the phone 24/7 , do you? Edited July 28, 2023 by Wiseman2
Versacehottie Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 38 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: He texted me back and we’re supposed to call tonight lol. so see? a lot of your worry, anxiety, insecurity and knee jerk solutions was all for nothing. IMO anxious people look for results on paper that fit a certain narrative but are always in a chasing mode as a result. You should put yourself in an evaluating mode....such as ok if the guy doesn't call me, I'll absolutely survive; good to know what sort of person he is up front. Right now to be honest, you sound a little giddy which indicates to me that you will still be in chasing mode bc you feel like you made through some hoop with him and you won't be evaluating what you really get from him..like a "hey" 1
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 Agree with @Versacehottie. Try to keep the focus on interest levels at bay this early on. You're looking to build a connection, not close a deal. You're still getting to know each other and trying to figure out if there's potential for a deeper connection. Jumping right into making interpretations about interest levels before that connection is made can be off-putting. I'm happy that he called but ease up on the eagerness. It's overwhelming and conveys that you are not taking the time to truly get to know him. "Yo" know? 2
Gaeta Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 18 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I’m just not attracted to guys who are actually “interested” in me at all. It’s unfortunate. So your solution is to chase men that you find attractive but don't reciprocate? One day you will come across a man you find attractive, yes full of tattoos. That will pursue you just right but for that you have to stop chasing men that are luckywarm about you. A man with poor grammar texting you *hey* after 24 hours wait is what you aim for? By the way l know a lawyer that is tattoed from neck to ankles, he's articulate, interesting, and knows how to treat a lady right and certainly does not text *hey* after 24 hrs. I'm telling you this so you know that plenty of men with tough-cool looks can be articulate and gentlemen. Don't settle because you like his looks, wait for the right look and right attitude in same package.
Kassieee Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 21 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I’m just not attracted to guys who are actually “interested” in me at all. It’s unfortunate. I am in the same boat. But now I try to give those guys the time of day, their personality and getting to know them, suddenly they start looking attractive. Better then bare minimum guys like him. 1
Gaeta Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 17 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately if you're going to block everyone who doesn't reply asap, you're going to be alone a lot. I don't think she meant blocking him but when a person does not show a reasonable amount of attention and respect you do not wait on him, you continue your search. 1
Alpacalia Posted July 28, 2023 Posted July 28, 2023 (edited) On 7/27/2023 at 1:07 AM, JTSW said: It has caused a little confusion. Indeed. And a bit of an argument between them (or so it seems). I'm curious to know how they settled the initial argument. Edited July 28, 2023 by Alpacalia 1
justwhoiam Posted July 30, 2023 Posted July 30, 2023 Quote A guy asked for my snap first then I told him I don’t have it then he said what about your a number on a dating app. How did you meet him? I thought you met him in person and he asked for your snap or number, but it looks like you met elsewhere online. 1
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