What to do when you speak too much 'Um' Like' and 'You Know'

[Alpacalia]

So I was talking to my father the other day and he poked fun at me for saying "like" a lot. I also sometimes say "um" and "yeah" ("yea" more so, it's a NJ thing where I was born).

Why do we do this?

How do I stop!

[Weezy1973]

There’s a recent “Armchair Expert” podcast with the guest Valerie Fridland. She’s a linguist and goes into detail about these words. It’s really interesting. Just note that it’s only on Spotify- but still free. 
 

After you listen to it, you might not care so much about stopping. 

[MsJayne]

This works for some people. Make a 'Like' jar, and every time you catch yourself injecting 'like' into a sentence put money in the jar.  Within a couple of days you'll become so aware of it that you'll automatically start checking yourself before you say it. 

[Wiseman2]

Probably just habits and local dialects. The use of words such as "like" was associated with "valley speak". There's a parody song about it.

Edited July 18, 2023 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

Great topic!  And I'm sure your father also had vocal habits which were common when he grew up  

With regards to 'um', this is common across languages, with the a vocal noise given while we think.  I could be wrong, but I think the French is 'ze'??(French speakers, please correct me if need be!).  I heard a linguist discussing how that the way we make this sound also describes our accent.  For instance, my accent is working class Australian, and my 'um' comes from my the top of my throat - as does my uncultured Aussie accent.   Whereas the French word (whatever it is) comes from the front of the mouths, as does much of their pronunciation.

The "like" is a 'filler' and types of fillers are also common across languages.  Just like "you know what I mean?" and "well'.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filler_(linguistics)

In other words, you're quite normal  

Orators on the other hand (politicians, public speakers, actors), I think have learned to simply pause when they think rather than saying "um"

[Alpacalia]

57 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Great topic!  And I'm sure your father also had vocal habits which were common when he grew up  

With regards to 'um', this is common across languages, with the a vocal noise given while we think.  I could be wrong, but I think the French is 'ze'??(French speakers, please correct me if need be!).  I heard a linguist discussing how that the way we make this sound also describes our accent.  For instance, my accent is working class Australian, and my 'um' comes from my the top of my throat - as does my uncultured Aussie accent.   Whereas the French word (whatever it is) comes from the front of the mouths, as does much of their pronunciation.

The "like" is a 'filler' and types of fillers are also common across languages.  Just like "you know what I mean?" and "well'.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filler_(linguistics)

In other words, you're quite normal  

Orators on the other hand (politicians, public speakers, actors), I think have learned to simply pause when they think rather than saying "um"

😁

I'm trying to think if my Dad has any linguistic quirks but he speaks pretty well. Growing up he spoke a different language around us.

We were talking and he mentioned how he used to choke chickens when he was younger (it was considered a delicacy in his country and they were poor and that's how they ate) and I used the "um" and "like" word when I was asking him questions about it. I just wasn't aware of how much I said "um" or "like" until he pointed it out and then I kept catching myself.

I also have a tendency to make a humming "umhmm" noise when something causes me to pause in thought.

Hmm. That's interesting what you wrote. I looked up the French word for "um" and it is "euh" (pronounced like the English word "uh"). I haven't lived in NJ for a few years now (I'm on the west coast) but my accent is definitely Jersey. I have noticed that the way I pronounce "um" is half-way between an "uh" and an "unh" sound and it's a bit diphthong. I guess that would probably describe a Northeastern U.S. accent. Interesting!

9 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

There’s a recent “Armchair Expert” podcast with the guest Valerie Fridland. She’s a linguist and goes into detail about these words. It’s really interesting. Just note that it’s only on Spotify- but still free. 
 

After you listen to it, you might not care so much about stopping. 

Thank you Weezy (and MsJayne and Wiseman2).

I found the podcast and listened to it.

Edited July 18, 2023 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

@Weezy1973   This is great stuff!   Thanks for the recommendation

   

[Alpacalia]

Gestures are another one I find interesting. My little science brain loves this stuff!

 

Edited July 19, 2023 by Alpacalia

[SlimShadysWife]

My dad mocked me and repeated when I said " turrrnnnnnaaa" (turn). I never talk like that again.

I use to kiss my teeth when annoyed.. dad put me in my place. 

He really put things in perspective, I was sounding dumb. 

I used to say "like", but now I try to say "so" when I'm about to say something, or explain something. 

Edited August 1, 2023 by justaskingok

[Alpacalia]

I only said one "um" today. Then I told my Papa, don't preach man. 😇🤤

Edited August 2, 2023 by Alpacalia

[basil67]

26 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I only said one "um" today. Then I told my Papa, don't preach man. 😇🤤

I'm old enough to know what you did there