Miserablemrs Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 My husband told me to kill myself My husband and I were fighting tonight. We fight a lot. I think he’s the most annoying person in the world and everything he does irritates me. When I told him that tonight, he got mad and started yelling about every single thing that is wrong with me and that I do wrong. Then he told me “You should kill yourself.” He also told me that I’m like a leach and no matter how many times he tries to remove me from him and throw salt on me, I don’t leave. I’m not perfect. I’m not the best at keeping the house clean. I’m depressed and unmotivated. I know these things. It’s not the first time he’s said mean things to me. Usually they aren’t as serious as killing myself. The other day when I asked about how my outfit looked he told me “well, it’s not what I’d choose. It’s tight and hugs your bloated belly.” And he wonders why I don’t like him.
basil67 Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 OK, so you don't like or respect him. He doesn't want to be with you. Why are you still there?
Author Miserablemrs Posted July 16, 2023 Author Posted July 16, 2023 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: OK, so you don't like or respect him. He doesn't want to be with you. Why are you still there? All true. We’ve been together a long time (most of our adult lives). Everything in our lives is intertwined. We’re co-dependent. Financially, I can’t really afford to be on my own right now.
basil67 Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 Are there any children who are witnessing this interaction?
Author Miserablemrs Posted July 16, 2023 Author Posted July 16, 2023 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: Are there any children who are witnessing this interaction? No. I don’t have kids because I don’t want to have kids with him. I don’t want him to be the father of my kids.
Weezy1973 Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 You need to end the marriage. Not much more to say.
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 (edited) That is far from love. He doesn't care about you nor really has any love for you. The next thing you know, he will be kicking you to the curb. Physically. He is already mentally abusing you with his snide remarks and hurtful demeanor. I'd pack up and leave. Seek a divorce lawyer. As he ages, It is not fine wine but more like toxic cyanide. Edited July 16, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator formatting
Wiseman2 Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 6 hours ago, Miserablemrs said: I’m depressed and unmotivated. I know these things. How long have you been married? Do both of you work? It seems like you hate each other and just stay together for financial purposes. You seem to realize it's toxic and abusive. Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. Do not tell him. Consult an attorney for support, information and advice in your situation. Perhaps with better information about your financial options in divorce, you could make a decision. 1
BaileyB Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 (edited) 8 hours ago, Miserablemrs said: And he wonders why I don’t like him. I wonder why you are still married to the man. This is a terrible way to live your life. Edited July 16, 2023 by BaileyB
ShyViolet Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 8 hours ago, Miserablemrs said: No. I don’t have kids because I don’t want to have kids with him. I don’t want him to be the father of my kids. Well thank goodness for this. This is a toxic and sick situation, are you going to stay in it and continue living like this? I know you said you are financially dependent, but it sounds like it's way past time to make a plan to get away from this man.
stillafool Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 (edited) It would be better to get a second job and try to find someone to move in with than to try to hang on to someone who clearly no longer wants you. Thank God you don't have kids together as that should make it easier to leave. Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean you have to stay together; especially where you're no longer wanted. It's really not that difficult to untangle your assets and leave if you want to. I agree that you need to seek legal counseling about your rights and the best way to exit this very unhealthy marriage. Edited July 16, 2023 by stillafool 1
MsJayne Posted July 16, 2023 Posted July 16, 2023 You need to remove yourself from the situation, which isn't easy when co-dependency and depression are involved. Do you have any family or friends you could turn to for some emotional support? If you go to your GP and explain what's going on they should be able to refer you to services which can help you with crisis accommodation and mental health support. Your husband sounds like he's got some serious issues himself, encouraging suicide is a criminal offence in some countries and, while he probably said it in a moment of juvenile spite, he needs a big wake up call. You won't ever recover from depression if you're in an environment where you're being used as a verbal punching bag. 1
mark clemson Posted July 17, 2023 Posted July 17, 2023 On 7/15/2023 at 10:58 PM, Miserablemrs said: Financially, I can’t really afford to be on my own right now. I'm not advising you to divorce, but fix this and other options become more realistically available to you. "An adult lifetime" does seem like a long time to be suffering through emotional abuse... 1
Trail Blazer Posted July 17, 2023 Posted July 17, 2023 5 hours ago, mark clemson said: I'm not advising you to divorce, but fix this and other options become more realistically available to you. "An adult lifetime" does seem like a long time to be suffering through emotional abuse... Whilst I agree, it's easier said than done. Life is so hard for so many out there. I don't know where OP lives, but pretty much everywhere across the (western) post-Covid world, financial suffering is ever present. 2 1
Alpacalia Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 Really? I would have just laughed and said, "No, I think I'll keep living, thank you very much." He's abusive but he also sounds like an immature moron. You seriously are in a very very bad marriage.
Els Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 On 7/16/2023 at 3:58 PM, Miserablemrs said: All true. We’ve been together a long time (most of our adult lives). Everything in our lives is intertwined. We’re co-dependent. Financially, I can’t really afford to be on my own right now. Generally, if one partner out-earns the other, alimony would be required after a divorce, at least for a period of time. Assets will also usually be split down the middle. All of this would give you a grace period to beef up your qualifications, improve your marketable skills, etc. Talk to a lawyer about your options.
mark clemson Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 16 hours ago, Trail Blazer said: Whilst I agree, it's easier said than done. That is very true, TB. Sometimes (but not always) "where there's a will, there's a way" so hopefully/perhaps OP can accomplish that, if she intends to.
Giovane Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 Don‘t kill yourself, but start a new life, alone and far away from him. From what you‘re telling us, you‘re miserable and it can hardly get any worse. If you stay with him, you‘ll literally waste the one life that you have.
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