Ending my relationship with Maria [merged thread]

[Keeves1]

UPDATE: 

I have had a talk with Maria and she is saying that she does not have a clear answer to me and would need time to think and figure out. So I told her to take her time and I would wait until she figures it out so we can come to an conclusion 

[Keeves1]

2 minutes ago, S2B said:

you two aren’t compatible!

this is as good as it gets as long as you are with her! So stay and expect it to get worse.

It has already gotten worse. I would be miserable if I would still stay in it. She told me she needs time to think about it and figure things out. She will come back to talk to me about it so we can finally come to an conclusion 

[Els]

29 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

It started to affect me from the first moment when she were complaining and I do listen to her. When she complain about me being rough I started to be gentle and it worked fine at that time and I started from there to be gentle everytime we had sex even if it was two times a week. 

During foreplay I would lighty touch her thigh in that area closer to her (you know) and I started using my finger (not straight inside her) but using a circular motion. It took 1 hour and 30 minuter for her vagina to expand. No when we first started I used lubed and sticked it in right away, but she has communicated that we should use foreplay and I did that for 3 years now. 

She does not orgasm on her own and I have not ever seen her masturbate on her own

Hmm, two things stand out to me here.

The first is that unfortunately it doesn't seem like she knows what she likes, and therefore she can't communicate that with you. And communication is pretty important for a good sex life. However, it's also pretty common for young women who are sexually inexperienced to not know what they like. It tends to get better with age and experience. However, it's also possible that you two are incompatible and may remain incompatible, so that's a risk that you take.

The second is that it sounds like you yourself are inexperienced and could do with a bit more sexual education (as demonstrated by what you tried to do the first time you had sex with her...). This is the only part that you can fix, and honestly it will benefit you to fix this regardless of whether you stay or leave. Ignore everything that you see in porn, and read up about female sexuality and techniques for female pleasure. "Come as you are" by Emily Nagoski and "She comes first" by Ian Kerner are excellent books.

If she managed to have pain-free sex after 1.5h of foreplay, then it sounds like there isn't a medical issue - it really is just about relaxation and arousal. It is a long time, yes, but that's probably because parts of the foreplay weren't doing anything for her. If you two manage to learn how to do it better, it could shorten the duration needed. For what it's worth, it's probably not a great idea to go straight to touching the clit. People often start with making out, cuddling, touching each other's erogenous zones (not genital), kissing/sucking nipples, then giving oral... the idea is to get them mentally aroused first through sensual touch before any genital contact happens.

[S2B]

You hand her all your power - do t ever expect her to have sex with you.

there is a HUGE imbalance of power in the union mainly because you want sex.

any gal who doesn’t desire the guy = low sex drive.

and you can’t fix that for her - she simply doesn’t desire you.

so if sex is important to you - end it with her knowing it’s not a good match! 

[S2B]

1 hour ago, Keeves1 said:

It has already gotten worse. I would be miserable if I would still stay in it. She told me she needs time to think about it and figure things out. She will come back to talk to me about it so we can finally come to an conclusion 

It’s time for YOU to decide - NOT her!

[Gaeta]

3 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

UPDATE: 

I have had a talk with Maria and she is saying that she does not have a clear answer to me and would need time to think and figure out. So I told her to take her time and I would wait until she figures it out so we can come to an conclusion 

She broke up with you, you need to read between the lines. 

You are ready to wait how long? 6 months? A year? She is not getting back to you, the love is gone.

You are what we call a selfish lover. You need to educate yourself on what pleases women in general, soft touches, enbraces, tenderness and passion. 

That being said it's time for you to move on. She needs to meet an experienced SOFT lover that will make her pleasure his priority. You are not him. Then same for you, you need to find a woman with a high libido that likes rough sex with no flah flah around it.

[S2B]

At any time in a relationship you need to beg someone for sex = it’s already OVER!

[Els]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Then same for you, you need to find a woman with a high libido that likes rough sex with no flah flah around it.

Haha, this is going to be an extremely long shot, though! As you said, most women need a man who prioritizes their pleasure. Even those of us who enjoy rough sex will typically still want pleasure - by "rough" we usually mean primal and passionate, maybe spanking or bondage... we don't usually mean just sticking it in.

While many sex complaints can be fixed by finding a compatible partner, in this case the odds of finding a compatible partner would be so low that I think he really needs to educate himself if he ever wants a good sex life with a future partner.

[JTSW]

13 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

UPDATE: 

I have had a talk with Maria and she is saying that she does not have a clear answer to me and would need time to think and figure out. So I told her to take her time and I would wait until she figures it out so we can come to an conclusion 

Which translates to - she is not sure about your relationship and future.

That she has never been fully into it, or you.

There are too many complications here OP and I'm wondering why you have continued to stay with her.

[Keeves1]

I've been reading all the comments! 

Instead of "Quoting" everyone and make alot of posts I will write everything here. 

I realize I have left out some details but I will get back to it shortly. 

I will not say if I agree or not when it comes to me being not experienced enough to please a woman. Either way I think the suggestions of reading a book about it, Els is a smart thing! I can gain some knowledge and as you said it will help me in the future regardless of my situation with Maria.

I could please Maria before and aroused her when it comes to her being relaxed and having sex without any complaints, as I have written earlier it was no such thing as a problem before. Honestly I think it's weird it's happening now so in my own opinions it has nothing to do with me not being desired. Maria just don't want to have sex in general

I would say that I know how to please, arouse and make her less stressed because I used to make out with her while touching her. That was before though and it was the right thing to get her going and feeling stimulated BUT the area were her lips are, were starting to get red and dry (I have a beard and that may have caused it) it was so severe that she visited a pharmacy and they gave her a cream that she had to apply for it to go away. We both don't know what that symptom was but it was affecting her on day to day basis. It took about 1 week and a half for it to go away or to get better.

So she communicated with me that I needed to shave all my beard off in order for her to not go though that again. I did listen to her and I shaved all of my beard and we tried making out and it worked fine. I was willing to shave my beard all the time in order for us to make out and make the process go smoothly. 

I remember one day we maked out and I was still clean shaven she still got that same issues as before so she said:" no make out before sex" From there on it started to go downhill with... you know the complains about the vagina... I told her that you could do effort by applying the cream every now and then to make it go away but she said she was too lazy and would not go through it just as a precaution and for it to don't be worse than it was. So even if I had a beard or not, or if I shaved or not nothing really worked.

So without being able to make out it restricted our options for the sex to go smoothly and she was not putting in the effort by applying the cream because she's "lazy" and don't want it to be even worse. 

That was the detail I left out

Edited July 14, 2023 by Keeves1

[Keeves1]

We then agreed to have foreplay without making out.

Things we did while we had foreplay was among things as cuddling first with music in the background and having lights off. That did not work... 

Edited July 14, 2023 by Keeves1

[Gaeta]

Do you see that without her doing her part there is no future for this relationship? I mean, on all facets she is not willing to move one inch toward you. She is not in love anymore and I think she has not been for a long time. I'm sorry.

[Keeves1]

Yeah unfortunately she seems to have fallen out of love. It's so sad because we get along with everything else if we put sex aside... This will for sure hurt me because I was with her for 3 years

[Gaeta]

16 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

Yeah unfortunately she seems to have fallen out of love. It's so sad because we get along with everything else if we put sex aside... This will for sure hurt me because I was with her for 3 years

Of course it will be hard but you'll be ok. Breakups are never easy but it's a process we cannot avoid. Two and a half years ago I was completely heartbroken over the ending of a 5 year relationship and now I found someone above all my expectation. Like Marylin Monroe said: Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. 

[Keeves1]

I've been reading this exact thread that I posted 3 months ago.. I don't know why but maybe it is because I still think of Maria... 

I think I'm ready to post a more detailed thread going deeper into other problems that I did not covered and also our communication after she has moved out.

The sexual part was not only the biggest reason.. it is more that meets the eye 

Edited September 4, 2023 by Keeves1

[Keeves1]

Hello, how is everyone doing? 

Me and my ex broke up this July but she stayed at my place until early August and she moved out on the 8th August. She is my first love and we have spent 4 years together and the memories I have with her will stay with me until I die..

The last few days have been very difficult for me as I have not been able to sleep and I have cried every night. Maria has thought me so much such as cooking and sewing clothes that has a hole. Not only that but she has left some furniture to me and those are furniture that enchances my living space. Before she moved out we went over stuff that she get's to keep and what I get to keep. So everyday when I wake up and for example make food I think of her and if I walk out in the city center I always think of her. Food because she thought me and I think of her when I'm in the city center because I see restaurant that we have been to and had a great time. I recently walked past the coffee spot we had out first date and then walked past the restaurant we had out 2nd date... Needles to say I was being emotions and nearly cried in public....

Unfortunately this one might me a long read and I suggest that if you like to have a short read then this thread might not be for you. There might be language barrier and if some sentences are not clear please comments so I can clarify. I'm Norwegian and I'll always try my best to explain things and get the point across.
I'm also making this exact thread on the "Dating" forum in this site so wether you are here or on the other department you will be able to find this on both departments.

Don't know really where to start... I know that I have documented my relationship with my ex very well here and I have also used this forum to ask for advice to get through the relationship problems I've had with Maria (ex). Everyone has helped me get trough tough times when it comes to my relations problems with Maria and I will never forgot how much help I got.

Maria is a smart girl who has her own thought about things wether or not it is a positive or negative ones. She acts accordingly to that while me on the other hand is not that smart. I want to add that I have been diagnosed with adjustment disorder/adaptive disorder.

One of the reason why we broke up was the sexual part. I will try to keep it short as I have covered it. You can either blame me or her or both of us. She were not interested in having sex and she complained about how painful it was. We tried foreplay, that did not work. She seeked a doctor but got an answer and it was "Just relax". I could not arouse her. 

We all know that house work needs to be done right? I were always doing that so I felt it was unfair that I was the one who was doing all the work and told her that it should be 50/50. She responded with: "I do house work, I'm just not doing it infront of you because I'm not comfortable". That was true and I was happy that she did do house work but I wanted her to do it infront of me so she could stop worrying about doing it infront of me or not but come to think of it she only said that she feels not comfortable because she is afraid that I would critize her if she does something wrong... That on my end is lack of respect.

Dating Maria is a rollercoaster and everytime we had a fight or an argument I was saying things like "I cannot take this anymore, please move out. We are always fighting " She of course was not happy to hear it and she was rather hurt by that comment. I've been saying that for like 2 years now and her last word was "I've already given you three chances" 

Since I have adjustment disorder I would come home from work and always complain about my colleagues did this and that to her which she got tired of. She is also doing it to me but not as severe.

Our relationship was toxic because of me, I was not arousing her on the sexual part, I did not show respect, I was lacking emotional intellingence. Most of this breakup was because I was the problem.

The aftermath: 

We still kept in touch after she moved out as she had left some things that she needed back so I came to her new place and delivered it to her. I was with my family. But since then I have not been seeing her in person but just facetiming and sending messages on snapchat. I have not been in touch with her since yesterday and I need to stop contacting her for the sake of best of us.

The messages that I sent is just me asking how she is doing and what she has been up to lately. I'm the one who sends her messages and she is not.  Last time we facetimed I asked for help and she seems to be calm and very helpful with helping me with stuff like how to fix a hole in the wall and to give me clarity on things that has happened that affects me at work. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I did however messed up. A week ago I asked what she has been up to and she told me that she have just been working and watching youtube when she comes home.

She then asked me: what about you? 

I proceeded to say: "I've been on alot of dates lately" Yeeaaah I should not have written that over snapchat.

*She lefts me on read* - at this point I know she was hurt by that comment which only makes me think that she were still thinking of me. 

Me: I'm so sorry that I wrote that I was just being honest and said what I have been up to lately. 

She: "It's okay don't think more about it."

a few days have past (maybe weeks?) but yesterday I asked what she has been up to and she answered

"I was on a date and I'm on my way home now and you?" 

Me: "nice, how did it go? I have been on a lot of dates and I have stopped dating because I still have you on my mind"

Her: "Oh really?" "It went very well actually"

Me: "Yeah I mean it, I to me, you were perfect and you taught me many things. I know I messed up big time but I will stop dating"

Her: "I'm sorry but as of right now it is not possible for me to come back"

Me: "I understand, I wish you all the best with your life in the future"

Her: "Thank you :)" 

I felt it was important to have that in this thread. This was the end of our conversation and I'm afraid it would be the last time we will communicate... 

I was thinking a way to save my skin and maybe have a 50/50 chance of getting back together with my ex, that is why I wrote that I stopped dating and are thinking of her. However it did not seem to work as I already messed it up when I wrote that I was "Dating". 

Thank you very much for taking your time to read through all of this. I really appreciate it 😊

How do you cope with breakups?




 

Edited September 4, 2023 by Keeves1

[Keeves1]

Hello, how is everyone doing? 

Me and my ex broke up this July but she stayed at my place until early August and she moved out on the 8th August. She is my first love and we have spent 4 years together and the memories I have with her will stay with me until I die..

The last few days have been very difficult for me as I have not been able to sleep and I have cried every night. Maria has thought me so much such as cooking and sewing clothes that has a hole in it. Not only that but she has left some furniture to me and those are furniture that enchances my living space. Before she moved out we went over stuff that she get's to keep and what I get to keep. So everyday when I wake up and for example make food I think of her and if I walk out in the city center I always think of her. Food because she thought me how to make good food and I think of her when I'm in the city center because I see all the places we have been to like restaurants and remember the great time we had in that place. I recently walked past the coffee spot we had our first date and then walked past the restaurant we had our 2nd date... Needles to say I was being emotional and nearly cried in public....

Unfortunately this one might me a long read and I suggest that if you like to have a short read then this thread might not be for you. There might be language barrier and if some sentences are not clear please comments so I can clarify. I'm Norwegian and I'll always try my best to explain things and get the point across.
I'm also making this exact thread on the "Dating" forum in this site so wether you are here or on the other department you will be able to find this on both departments.

Don't know really where to start... I know that I have documented my relationship with my ex very well here and I have also used this forum to ask for advice to get through the relationship problems I've had with Maria (ex). Everyone has helped me get trough tough times when it comes to my relations problems with Maria and I will never forgot how much help I got.

Maria is a smart girl who has her own thought about things wether or not it is a positive or negative ones. She acts accordingly to that while me on the other hand is not that smart. I want to add that I have been diagnosed with adjustment disorder/adaptive disorder.

One of the reason why we broke up was the sexual part. I will try to keep it short as I have covered it. You can either blame me or her or both of us. She were not interested in having sex and she complained about how painful it was. We tried foreplay, that did not work. She seeked a doctor but got an answer and it was "Just relax". I could not arouse her. 

We all know that house work needs to be done right? I were always doing that so I felt it was unfair that I was the one who was doing all the work and told her that it should be 50/50. She responded with: "I do house work, I'm just not doing it infront of you because I'm not comfortable". That was true and I was happy that she did do house work but I wanted her to do it infront of me so she could stop worrying about doing it infront of me or not but come to think of it she only said that she feels not comfortable because she is afraid that I would critize her if she does something wrong... That on my end is lack of respect.

Dating Maria is a rollercoaster and everytime we had a fight or an argument I was saying things like "I cannot take this anymore, please move out. We are always fighting " She of course was not happy to hear it and she was rather hurt by that comment. I've been saying that for like 2 years now and her last word was "I've already given you three chances" 

Since I have adjustment disorder I would come home from work and always complain about my colleagues did this and that to her which she got tired of. She is also doing it to me but not as severe.

Our relationship was toxic because of me, I was not arousing her on the sexual part, I did not show respect, I was lacking emotional intellingence. Most of this breakup was because I was the problem.

The aftermath: 

We still kept in touch after she moved out as she had left some things that she needed back so I came to her new place and delivered it to her. I was with my family. But since then I have not been seeing her in person but just facetiming and sending messages on snapchat. I have not been in touch with her since yesterday and I need to stop contacting her for the sake of best of us.

The messages that I sent is just me asking how she is doing and what she has been up to lately. I'm the one who sends her messages and she is not.  Last time we facetimed I asked for help and she seems to be calm and very helpful with helping me with stuff like how to fix a hole in the wall and to give me clarity on things that has happened that affects me at work. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I did however messed up. A week ago I asked what she has been up to and she told me that she have just been working and watching youtube when she comes home.

She then asked me: what about you? 

I proceeded to say: "I've been on alot of dates lately" Yeeaaah I should not have written that over snapchat.

*She lefts me on read* - at this point I know she was hurt by that comment which only makes me think that she were still thinking of me. 

Me: I'm so sorry that I wrote that I was just being honest and said what I have been up to lately. 

She: "It's okay don't think more about it."

a few days have past (maybe weeks?) but yesterday I asked what she has been up to and she answered

"I was on a date and I'm on my way home now and you?" 

Me: "nice, how did it go? I have been on a lot of dates and I have stopped dating because I still have you on my mind"

Her: "Oh really?" "It went very well actually"

Me: "Yeah I mean it, I to me, you were perfect and you taught me many things. I know I messed up big time but I will stop dating"

Her: "I'm sorry but as of right now it is not possible for me to come back"

Me: "I understand, I wish you all the best with your life in the future"

Her: "Thank you :)" 

I felt it was important to have that in this thread. This was the end of our conversation and I'm afraid it would be the last time we will communicate... 

I was thinking a way to save my skin and maybe have a 50/50 chance of getting back together with my ex, that is why I wrote that I stopped dating and are thinking of her. However it did not seem to work as I already messed it up when I wrote that I was "Dating". 

Thank you very much for taking your time to read through all of this. I really appreciate it 😊

How do you cope with breakups?

Edited September 4, 2023 by Keeves1

[Wiseman2]

Why don't you condense your thoughts (and several threads) into this one and express your thoughts about your ex?

[Keeves1]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why don't you condense your thoughts (and several threads) into this one and express your thoughts about your ex?

I have made a new thread but I can just copy and paste it and put this here! 

[Keeves1]

I’m still thinking about my ex

Me and my ex broke up this July but she stayed at my place until early August and she moved out on the 8th August. She is my first love and we have spent 4 years together and the memories I have with her will stay with me until I die..

The last few days have been very difficult for me as I have not been able to sleep and I have cried every night. Maria has thought me so much such as cooking and sewing clothes that has a hole in it. Not only that but she has left some furniture to me and those are furniture that enchances my living space. Before she moved out we went over stuff that she get's to keep and what I get to keep. So everyday when I wake up and for example make food I think of her and if I walk out in the city center I always think of her. Food because she thought me how to make good food and I think of her when I'm in the city center because I see all the places we have been to like restaurants and remember the great time we had in that place. I recently walked past the coffee spot we had our first date and then walked past the restaurant we had our 2nd date... Needles to say I was being emotional and nearly cried in public....

Unfortunately this one might me a long read and I suggest that if you like to have a short read then this thread might not be for you. There might be language barrier and if some sentences are not clear please comments so I can clarify. I'm Norwegian and I'll always try my best to explain things and get the point across.
I'm also making this exact thread on the "Dating" forum in this site so wether you are here or on the other department you will be able to find this on both departments.

Don't know really where to start... I know that I havedocumented my relationship with my ex very well here and I have also used this forum to ask for advice to get through the relationship problems I've had with Maria (ex). Everyone has helped me get trough tough times when it comes to my relations problems with Maria and I will never forgot how much help I got.

Maria is a smart girl who has her own thought about things wether or not it is a positive or negative ones. She acts accordingly to that while me on the other hand is not that smart. I want to add that I have been diagnosed with adjustment disorder/adaptive disorder.

One of the reason why we broke up was the sexual part. I will try to keep it short as I have covered it. You can either blame me or her or both of us. She were not interested in having sex and she complained about how painful it was. We tried foreplay, that did not work. She seeked a doctor but got an answer and it was "Just relax". I could not arouse her. 

We all know that house work needs to be done right? I were always doing that so I felt it was unfair that I was the one who was doing all the work and told her that it should be 50/50. She responded with: "I do house work, I'm just not doing it infront of you because I'm not comfortable". That was true and I was happy that she did do house work but I wanted her to do it infront of me so she could stop worrying about doing it infront of me or not but come to think of it she only said that she feels not comfortable because she is afraid that I would critize her if she does something wrong... That on my end is lack of respect.

Dating Maria is a rollercoaster and everytime we had a fight or an argument I was saying things like "I cannot take this anymore, please move out. We are always fighting " She of course was not happy to hear it and she was rather hurt by that comment. I've been saying that for like 2 years now and her last word was "I've already given you three chances" 

Since I have adjustment disorder I would come home from work and always complain about my colleagues did this and that to her which she got tired of. She is also doing it to me but not as severe.

Our relationship was toxic because of me, I was not arousing her on the sexual part, I did not show respect, I was lacking emotional intellingence. Most of this breakup was because I was the problem.

The aftermath: 

We still kept in touch after she moved out as she had left some things that she needed back so I came to her new place and delivered it to her. I was with my family. But since then I have not been seeing her in person but just facetiming and sending messages on snapchat. I have not been in touch with her since yesterday and I need to stop contacting her for the sake of best of us.

The messages that I sent is just me asking how she is doing and what she has been up to lately. I'm the one who sends her messages and she is not.  Last time we facetimed I asked for help and she seems to be calm and very helpful with helping me with stuff like how to fix a hole in the wall and to give me clarity on things that has happened that affects me at work. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I did however messed up. A week ago I asked what she has been up to and she told me that she have just been working and watching youtube when she comes home.

She then asked me: what about you? 

I proceeded to say: "I've been on alot of dates lately" Yeeaaah I should not have written that over snapchat.

*She lefts me on read* - at this point I know she was hurt by that comment which only makes me think that she were still thinking of me. 

Me: I'm so sorry that I wrote that I was just being honest and said what I have been up to lately. 

She: "It's okay don't think more about it."

a few days have past (maybe weeks?) but yesterday I asked what she has been up to and she answered

"I was on a date and I'm on my way home now and you?" 

Me: "nice, how did it go? I have been on a lot of dates and I have stopped dating because I still have you on my mind"

Her: "Oh really?" "It went very well actually"

Me: "Yeah I mean it, I to me, you were perfect and you taught me many things. I know I messed up big time but I will stop dating"

Her: "I'm sorry but as of right now it is not possible for me to come back"

Me: "I understand, I wish you all the best with your life in the future"

Her: "Thank you :)" 

I felt it was important to have that in this thread. This was the end of our conversation and I'm afraid it would be the last time we will communicate... 

I was thinking a way to save my skin and maybe have a 50/50 chance of getting back together with my ex, that is why I wrote that I stopped dating and are thinking of her. However it did not seem to work as I already messed it up when I wrote that I was "Dating". 

Thank you very much for taking your time to read through all of this. I really appreciate it 😊

How do you cope with breakups?

[BaileyB]

Time.

It takes time to let go. And during that time, you need to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Practically speaking, focus on your own interests - spend time with friends, go to the gym, reinvest in an old hobby…

Try not to overthink it. This too shall pass and life will be good again… all in good time.

Edited September 4, 2023 by BaileyB

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Keeves1 said:

How do you cope with breakups?

Ancient Chinese secret.🤫

You'll be 👌 okay. It takes time.

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, Keeves1 said:

How do you cope with breakups?

We cope by accepting it's over, by alllowing our self to grieve, and letting time do its magic.

Jumping right into dating isn't the best strategy. It keeps you from doing your grieving (that's a step you cannot skip) and it's unfair to the other person.

Once we were in love with someone and shared a chunck of our life with them they will always be on the back of our mind. At first it generates pain, then melancoly, than it's a memory. It's normal you think about her often, the breakup is fresh, then she'll pop up less often but she might always pop up in your mind even when you're in love with someone else, that's normal too. My ex-hysband was in my dream last night, we divorced 24 years ago. People that have impacted your life will not just disappear from your head.

It's also normal to think of going back to a relationship that feels familiar, becoming single after a few years is scary at first.

When my ex and l broke up l took time to heal, took care of myself, concentrated on things and people l enjoyed. I went back to dating a year later and met my now bf 18 months after my breakup. 

Life goes on, always.

 

[Keeves1]

It seems like I have left out some details.

How the breakup came about is something I want to write: We went on vacation to China actually in April this year. After we came home we had a couple of fights. 

One day when we both had free from work Maria wanted to talk to me. It was after dinner.

She started by saying something like: "You have hurted me many times by saying that I need to move out and I get really exhausted of always being your emotional support when you come to me after work and complaining to me about your colleagues. You need to know that I'm also stressed and tired after work. I have been patient with you for almost four years. You Keeves seems to be impacted on what is going on in the daily life and I'm sure It's getting to much for you as well when we have arguments and fights. I don't understand why you want to keep this relationship going. I have been thinking about moving on and calling it quits, is that okay with you Keeves?"

With all that being said at that time she was kind of summarizing the status of the relationship by saying that both parties is not really compatible and were asking for mutual consent to call it quits. 

I said "I agree to that it has been lot of bad and negative thing going on in our relationship at the moment but I'm willing to work on myself and to work together with you to make it back to normal, so no I don't want to call it quits. I'm just not ready" That was my reply.

She said: "I'm sorry but I cannot keep this going on any longer. It will hurt both me and you. Sorry"

Me: "Then I won't stop you so we can call it quits"

That was how the breakup came about.

After that she recommended that I write down these 6 things that I need to work on myself:

1. You have to know if that said person is joking or not. If you're not sure it is okay to ask the person if this was a joke.

2. I have to be less selfish and think more about the other partner in a relationship.

3. Don't say any word that can hurt people. Think twice before saying it.

4. Think more positive

5. Have a big heart

6. Respect other people and your partner 

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This is the whole story and I don't think there is anything more left to tell. Maybe I should just take a break from loveshack and just work on myself IDK🤔

Edited September 4, 2023 by Keeves1

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

Maybe I should just take a break from loveshack and just work on myself IDK🤔

I think you should take a break from dating, not loveshack.