How can you tell If a guy is interested or.

[Kassieee]

I went to a function that took place on a fancy hall. There was dinner  dancing, and a DJ. Long story short.....after the party waiting outside the door alone, the DJ came up to me and asked me why I wasn't dancing much. I told him why but it was cut short because someone intervened and I walked away.

What do guys do these days to pick up women IN PERSON..not online bogus. how can you differentiate just making convo and interested.

 

Maybe he wanted some feedback with his DJing. No one can read minds.

Edited July 7, 2023 by justaskingok

[glows]

They usually find a lot of reasons to be around you - hard to get rid of

Flirt shamelessly 

Tease

Ask you out 

Mr DJ has a job likely due to charisma as much as talent so try not to confuse that with anything personal. Nice of him to chat or appear friendly. You probably seem approachable.

[Kassieee]

12 minutes ago, glows said:

They usually find a lot of reasons to be around you - hard to get rid of

Flirt shamelessly 

Tease

Ask you out 

Mr DJ has a job likely due to charisma as much as talent so try not to confuse that with anything personal. Nice of him to chat or appear friendly. You probably seem approachable.

I will never know where the convo could've gone. Argh.

[glows]

Just now, justaskingok said:

I will never know where the convo could've gone. Argh.

Bit of a crush? 

[Kassieee]

8 minutes ago, glows said:

Bit of a crush? 

He noticed me, "noticed" I wasn't dancing much....that's something right. Big crowd and all  

Wishful thinking. 

[Alpacalia]

I went out once with friends and my female friend was friends with the DJ. He asked my female friend to talk to me and after the place closed he came up to me and asked me out.

As I was leaving he walked me to my car that was nearby and as I was trying to leave he put his hands on the steering wheel through the window pretending that he wasn't going to let me go home just yet. I opted not to go on the date because he started asking me all sorts of weird questions and the steering wheel thing .

He was trying to make small talk with you which could go either way.

Edited July 7, 2023 by Alpacalia

[JTSW]

So you're asking if the DJ was interested in you?

Nothing indicated that he was interested.

It was just small talk.

[Lotsgoingon]

How did you feel when the DJ approached you? The question isn't just what the DJ was intending. The question is equally--probably mostly--what you were feeling when he approached you. 

A pickup is actually two-sided. It's one person approaching another--and the other RESPONDING positively with enthusiasm to the approach. Now, you don't need to script or plan out your positive response. The response we're talking about is what you are naturally feeling.

Did the DJ say any more after you explained why you weren't dancing? Typically in a pickup he would say perhaps one more line to you if he picked up some good energy from you. I guess I'm asking: did you feel good energy from his approach? And if you felt good energy, were you able to show it? 

No criticism intended by the way. Some people are just outgoing and friendly---and DJ may have just been asking you a real question. I assume some DJ's are always asking about people not dancing out of fear that these people maybe didn't like their music selection.  Part of being a good DJ is keeping in touch with people's tastes--along with having a wide knowledge of songs and genres to play to match and excite the energy of the crowd. 

 

[Kassieee]

58 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

How did you feel when the DJ approached you? The question isn't just what the DJ was intending. The question is equally--probably mostly--what you were feeling when he approached you. 

A pickup is actually two-sided. It's one person approaching another--and the other RESPONDING positively with enthusiasm to the approach. Now, you don't need to script or plan out your positive response. The response we're talking about is what you are naturally feeling.

Did the DJ say any more after you explained why you weren't dancing? Typically in a pickup he would say perhaps one more line to you if he picked up some good energy from you. I guess I'm asking: did you feel good energy from his approach? And if you felt good energy, were you able to show it? 

No criticism intended by the way. Some people are just outgoing and friendly---and DJ may have just been asking you a real question. I assume some DJ's are always asking about people not dancing out of fear that these people maybe didn't like their music selection.  Part of being a good DJ is keeping in touch with people's tastes--along with having a wide knowledge of songs and genres to play to match and excite the energy of the crowd. 

 

I didnt even see him coming he popped out of no where. He caught me off guard with his question. He asked why i didnt dance much. I probably looked confused and dumb founded, i said i didnt expect the party to end so soon.... and then someone interrupted, so I  just walked away lol. Everything happened fast and I didn't think much about it till I came home.

It sucks because what if we could've been good friends? I go dancing alot and he's a DJ, match made in heaven.

Even if he wasn't interested in me like that i would've made a move and asked for his snapchat.

Edited July 7, 2023 by justaskingok

[Lotsgoingon]

So did he make a strong impression? Is that why you are asking.

We cannot say whether he was interested or not based on the details you have given. 

You'll get other opportunities. But here's a tip. In the future, if you ARE interested in someone and you're on the way out and you're pulled by friends, you can tell your friends to hold on for a minute. All it takes is literally a minute (probably less) to chat/flirt with someone and get their information if you want to know them more.   Hey guys, hold on just a second.

Your friends will know exactly why you are asking them to wait. 

 

 

 

[glows]

DJs will be working a lot of nights. You’ll have to be prepared for that if looking to date one. It’s nice in theory similar to how people fantasize about dating a chef but not so hot in reality. 

Having said that doesn’t he have an online presence on social media? See whether he’s got another show if you like his work. You can also appreciate someone’s talent without dating. 

[Ami1uwant]

23 hours ago, justaskingok said:

He noticed me, "noticed" I wasn't dancing much....that's something right. Big crowd and all  

Wishful thinking. 

You realize that “ not dancing much” is an easy line to start a conversation.

[FMW]

6 hours ago, justaskingok said:

and then someone interrupted, so I  just walked away lol.

Maybe you'll come across each other again, and if so, take the opportunity to try and talk to him.  But don't waste time wondering about it.  Focus on making the most of the opportunities that come your way next. 

You either click with someone or you don't.  If you had good chemistry you would have found your way back together that night to talk, one of you would have made sure of that.   

[Kassieee]

33 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

You realize that “ not dancing much” is an easy line to start a conversation.

 He had to be watching me to know that I wasn't dancing much, whys he watching me for, hmm (jk). 

DJ left an impression because he started a normal conversation, he seemed like a decent person. Which is usually not the type of guys I attract.

For example the same night, I'm outside and there's a guy banging on the glass window telling me to come inside to talk to him all googly eyed, I pretended like I didn't see him. And then you have this DJ was just normal and cute.

[basil67]

29 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

 He had to be watching me to know that I wasn't dancing much

KIndly, you would have stood out.  My guess is that he believed you felt a bit strange and awkward so he came to try and help you feel comfortable in a dancing environment.

[Kassieee]

11 minutes ago, basil67 said:

KIndly, you would have stood out.  My guess is that he believed you felt a bit strange and awkward so he came to try and help you feel comfortable in a dancing environment.

It was the end of the night. No one was dancing at that point and I was outside. Nothing about my demeanor would've gave him that impression, so doubt it.

[Kassieee]

1 hour ago, glows said:

DJs will be working a lot of nights. You’ll have to be prepared for that if looking to date one. It’s nice in theory similar to how people fantasize about dating a chef but not so hot in reality. 

Having said that doesn’t he have an online presence on social media? See whether he’s got another show if you like his work. You can also appreciate someone’s talent without dating. 

I can ask the person who booked the hall and hired him. 

[ExpatInItaly]

There is simply not enough information here to determine if he was interested. 

He could have been, or he could have been concerned that you didn't like his set and he wanted to know why. You would have stood out if you were the only one not dancing or seeming to enjoy herself. 

2 hours ago, justaskingok said:

he seemed like a decent person

To be fair, you have zero idea what kind of person he is. He might be a nice guy, or he might be total tool. Such a brief interaction gives you essentially no real idea of who a person genuinely is. For all you know, he's got a wife or girlfriend, or has a Ronald McDonald fetish. My point is that he could be anybody. 

It sounds like you are projecting because you were attracted. That doesn't mean he wasn't attracted to, but you need to keep some perspective and not let yourself get too carried by the idea of this stranger. 

[basil67]

2 hours ago, justaskingok said:

It was the end of the night. No one was dancing at that point and I was outside. Nothing about my demeanor would've gave him that impression, so doubt it.

If nobody was dancing, it makes no sense why he'd comment on you not dancing.  Had he come up to you and commented on great your dancing was earlier, that would be a different story  

Broadly speaking though, most people who we have passing conversations with aren't generally seeking friendship.  They are just friendly people who talk to everyone.  I know this because I'm one of those people who chat with strangers.  Don't get caught up worrying that you may have missed out on a friendship

[glows]

9 hours ago, justaskingok said:

I can ask the person who booked the hall and hired him. 

?? It’s so much easier googling him or searching on social media. Most DJs will be sharing where they’re doing shows next etc. I’m assuming here you’re also appreciating his music talent and not seriously hoping to interact one on one with this guy with the intention to date because that would be kind of stalkerish and weird. 
 

[Alpacalia]

Asking about your dancing was to ensure you were enjoying yourself. However, without further information, it's hard to determine his true intentions. Speculation can only take us so far.

If his interest is genuine, there is a chance that he might approach you again if circumstances allow in the future.

I would say though that while it's natural to think about missed opportunities and wonder what could have been, don't fixate and keep an open mind and do not solely focus on the romantic potential. 

You mentioned that you go dancing a lot, and he's a DJ, which could be a great common interest.

If you come across him again in the future, you could suggest that he show you some of his music. That way you can find out more about him and his interests.

Enjoy the moment if it presents itself again and see where it leads.

[Kassieee]

6 hours ago, glows said:

?? It’s so much easier googling him or searching on social media. Most DJs will be sharing where they’re doing shows next etc. I’m assuming here you’re also appreciating his music talent and not seriously hoping to interact one on one with this guy with the intention to date because that would be kind of stalkerish and weird. 
 

How can I Google someone I don't know? What am I googling? ....? I don't know his name. I'm not contacting him....that's a bit much.

Edited July 8, 2023 by justaskingok

[Wiseman2]

45 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

How can you tell If a guy is interested.

It's very simple. They ask you out or exchange contact info for the purpose of asking you out in the future. Everything else is just a friendly or flirty encounter.

[glows]

53 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

How can I Google someone I don't know? What am I googling? ....? I don't know his name. I'm not contacting him....that's a bit much.

You don’t know his name. 

That’s ok. If you see him again don’t be afraid to ask and enjoy the conversation. And don’t feel odd about all of this - in the bigger scheme of things it happens to the best of us. We meet someone randomly, there’s an instant attraction and you don’t get a chance to get to know the other person. They’re called missed connections and it happens.

[JTSW]

On 7/8/2023 at 5:25 AM, justaskingok said:

He had to be watching me to know that I wasn't dancing much, whys he watching me for, hmm (jk). 

I think you took this the wrong way.

You were standing outside so the comment was just a casual one.

You took it to mean he was watching you when I highly doubt that.

I thought you were seeing someone anyway?