Shyguy86 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Is it alright to have female friends while you have a girl friend? I'm going out with an old friend from high-school this thursday and i havn't told my girlfriend of 8 months yet. Does she have any right to be angry? Should i cancel my plans on thursday? I don't have many friends because i'm working a lot and i'm a busy person that doesn't get out and meet people, so i can't really afford to lose the friends i already have... any thoughts would be great!
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I'm going out with an old friend from high-school this thursday and i havn't told my girlfriend of 8 months yet. You are playing with fire. Just curious, when do you plan to tell your GF about your Thursday plans? Keep in mind that today is Tuesday.
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 Tonight when i talk to her! i just made the plans
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Tonight when i talk to her! i just made the plans So are you gonna tell the truth or are you gonna lie?
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 What? That's ridiculous. If you've been dating for eight months, she should trust you, and trust that the girls you're going out with are what you say they are--just friends. Obviously, don't lie about it. And don't cancel your plans either. If she gets mad, you have some serious issues to tlak over.
Walk Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Hmmm... If I were his girlfriend, I don't think I'd be comfortable with this. Reverse the situation. If it were your girlfriend going out with a male friend... Would you be comfortable with the situation. Course, you could probably circumvent this by inviting the gf to go with you. If there's really nothing hokey going on, then you shouldn't have any problems with her coming along too. Plus this will re-establish in the other girls mind that your taken, and committed to someone else. Me, I avoid going out with guy friends by myself while I'm in a relationship. I think that's asking for trouble from every which way I could imagine. If I want to hang out with one of my guy friends, I make sure that it's on the up and up. Meet during the day, crowded places, tell my bf, and also ask if he'd like to join me. I try to keep it as non-date like as possible, so that no one gets the wrong impression.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I think that silly. If his only friends are girls, he should just stop having friends in order to keep up this relationship that undoubtedly will not last as long as eight friendships will? My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. I'd be the most selfish person ever to tell him to choose me over his best friend.
Bleelee Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I think you should definatly include her in the plans. I just found out that me bf had an affair with his "friend" for almost two years. He had a completly separate live two hours from where we live. He said he had to go there to "work". Going alone is just inviting hurt feeling and problems.
Bleelee Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I think you should definatly include her in the plans. I just found out that me bf had an affair with his "friend" for almost two years. He had a completly separate live two hours from where we live. He said he had to go there to "work". Going alone is just inviting hurt feelings and problems.
Walk Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I think that silly. If his only friends are girls, he should just stop having friends in order to keep up this relationship that undoubtedly will not last as long as eight friendships will? I'm not sure if you're naive, or if I'm too jaded. I have yet to meet a man who is friends with a woman who doesn't want to shag her. Some men are decent and moral and don't act on their desires if they have a girlfriend. Some men still fantasize about the "friend" while with the gf. Some guys just don't give a fig and do both of them. But I still have yet to meet a man who isn't sexually attracted to his female friends. The ones who aren't sexually attracted, aren't friends with the woman. Men: Correct me if I'm wrong. This has been my experience. You think with the "wrong" head 99% of the time anyway. But I've polled guys, and they've all said the same thing. They're all sexually attracted to the female friend and if they had the opportunity (either by being single, or cheating) then they'd nail her in an instant. And I'm not saying give up the friendship. I'm saying don't take her out on a date and lie to the gf. Keep it on the up and up, and no one gets hurt.
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 So are you gonna tell the truth or are you gonna lie? I would never lie! That's just digging a hole that i don't want to be in! She knows my views on cheating (i'm strictly against it), and she's gone out with her x a few times, i trust her completely but i'm not sure that she trusts me!
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I would never lie! That's just digging a hole that i don't want to be in! She knows my views on cheating (i'm strictly against it), and she's gone out with her x a few times, i trust her completely but i'm not sure that she trusts me! Obviously, you don't think she trusts you otherwise you wouldn't be here.
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. Your boyfriend's best friend should be YOU.
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Your boyfriend's best friend should be YOU. This statement is not true.. My best friend is a girl and she and I have known each other for almost 25 years.. All of my GFs or my ex wife were my best friends as well... You can have as many best/great friends as you need.. there is no limit and no rules saying that only a SO gets that position..
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 This statement is not true. It's true for me. Case closed.
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 It's true for me. Case closed. Get over yourself SF
SmoochieFace Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Get over yourself SF HUH??? Get over myself? What the *beep* are you talking about?
Walk Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 My best friend is a girl and she and I have known each other for almost 25 years.. Alright you two! Maybe if we defined "best friend". I don't think you can consider her a best friend if you dream of having sex with her, or wish she was actually interested in you on more then a friends level? There's no problem having a best friend of the opposite sex. But it crosses the line when people start blurring the lines between oppisite sex friends, and dates. That's all I'm saying. If you meet up once in a while and have no sexual desire for that person, then no problem. Otherwise, you're just asking for trouble if things start to go sour in the relationhip.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I'm not sure if you're naive, or if I'm too jaded. I have yet to meet a man who is friends with a woman who doesn't want to shag her. Some men are decent and moral and don't act on their desires if they have a girlfriend. Some men still fantasize about the "friend" while with the gf. Some guys just don't give a fig and do both of them. But I still have yet to meet a man who isn't sexually attracted to his female friends. Some men are serial killers. Some men are pedophiles. Some men are Hitler. But you can't use "some men" to generalize the entirety of the male gender. I'm not naive, I just trust my boyfriend. I know that if he hangs out with other girls he won't cheat on me, because I am his only one. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if you don't have it after eight months, it's a pretty serious issue.
Author Shyguy86 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 If you meet up once in a while and have no sexual desire for that person, then no problem. Otherwise, you're just asking for trouble if things start to go sour in the relationhip. Thanks "walk", I havn't seen her in over a year, and we're just gunna go catch up. I told my girlfriend and she was a little hesitant but generally okay with it, atleast that's what she said anyways! Thanks guys
EnigmaXOXO Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Is it alright to have female friends while you have a girl friend? Depends on how your girlfriend feels regarding the issue. It's more about cohesiveness in 'thinking' rather than who's right or wrong. No secrets. No double standards. I would "hope" that if your girlfriend finds nothing out of the ordinary about sustaining a friendship with one of her ex boyfriends, then she shouldn't change her opinion regarding the subject if you choose to do the same. If you find yourselves parting ways over this issue, then it may be time to either reach a fair and equal compromise or down-grade your relationship to just another platonic "friendship" as well.
Walk Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 Some men are serial killers. Some men are pedophiles. Some men are Hitler. But you can't use "some men" to generalize the entirety of the male gender. uh... that's why I said "some men". Not all men do this. All the men I have asked on this topic, men that I am not friends with, and friends of mine, have said the same thing as far as female friends go. Let me say this again. "all the men I have asked and polled." Not All men. See the difference?
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