Els Posted June 29, 2023 Posted June 29, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Grumpy Bob said: err no, the thread is about age differences, and literally all I said was (and I quote) "but I'd be happy to become a step-dad to a couple of pre-teens" and for some reason people have gone of the deep end, implying that what I was looking for was more children, and that doing so was creepy I was referring to your list of criteria. #2 to #6 are all about kids - only #1 isn't, but it doesn't even say what you're looking for, only what you're NOT looking for. So again, I'll ask - what do you do in your leisure time, and what exactly are you hoping for from your partner besides kid-related stuff? There must have been a reason why you mentioned that you don't want someone who "drinks wine and travels"... so what DO you want her to be doing? I'm not going to ask again if you decline to answer, because this is the third time now, but consider that if you don't have the answer to this very basic question, maybe you need to do some introspection before trying to get into a relationship. Regardless of their age. Edited June 29, 2023 by Els 1
Sony12 Posted June 29, 2023 Posted June 29, 2023 3 hours ago, Grumpy Bob said: err no, the thread is about age differences, and literally all I said was (and I quote) "but I'd be happy to become a step-dad to a couple of pre-teens" and for some reason people have gone of the deep end, implying that what I was looking for was more children, and that doing so was creepy Well I'll just say this. Generally speaking women who online date are very protective of their kids in regards to the guys they choose to meet/go out with. Even if you are a guy that presents no red flags to her it would still often make her feel pretty uncomfortable if you seemed pretty inquisitive about her kids. It's a subject best to be left alone unless she raises the topic herself. Many of these women will want to keep their dates and their kids completely separate until she feels it's ok to introduce them to the guy she is dating. So don't talk about her kids unless she talks about them first. 2
Weezy1973 Posted June 29, 2023 Posted June 29, 2023 (edited) On 6/25/2023 at 10:03 PM, Grumpy Bob said: Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world, but I find myself attracted to women with younger kids. I love Kids…but I'd be happy to become a step-dad to a couple of pre-teens. But I don't even know what most young ladies would think of this? If, hypothetically, you're around 40 with young kids, and say your ex isn't in the picture, and you're looking for a husband... Are you even looking for a step-dad? And would you consider somebody up to 20 years older, or rather stay single? @Grumpy Bob As per your original post, it seems like the bulk of your questions are actually about getting together with someone with young kids. But if kids aren’t actually a big deal to you (it’s hard to tell because you’re kind of avoiding people’s questions), I wouldn’t even worry about age gaps. Just date women you find attractive regardless of age, and if you click with someone, keep dating them. Whether they’re in their 30s or 60s doesn’t really matter. It’s more about compatibility. I’m sure there’s plenty of women around your age that aren’t in “retirement mode” just like you. Edited June 29, 2023 by Weezy1973 3
Author Grumpy Bob Posted June 30, 2023 Author Posted June 30, 2023 Thank you for your eloquent and well considered answer. On 6/26/2023 at 1:39 PM, Lotsgoingon said: But be careful: you hit 70 and she's 50, omg, there is a huge difference in life and lifestyle and energy---frequently Yes, this is a very good point. I've also come to the (rather obvious) revelation that even if a younger lady has a couple of kids, she may want more. As in, she might not consciously want kids now, but if she falls in love and marries, that can easily change.
Author Grumpy Bob Posted July 2, 2023 Author Posted July 2, 2023 On 6/30/2023 at 7:41 AM, Weezy1973 said: But if kids aren’t actually a big deal to you (it’s hard to tell It's not hard to tell. I've clearly said I don't want more kids. But simple fact is that the majority of Ladies I might be interested in, even at the extremes of age-difference, will have kids. ALL I have said, is that due to blending issues, I'm less confident if her kids are mid to late teens. And yes, maybe I'm completely wrong? Maybe a teenager is less trouble than a pre-teen?? (not my experience as a parent, but maybe it's different in a blended family)???
glows Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 On 6/25/2023 at 10:03 PM, Grumpy Bob said: But I don't even know what most young ladies would think of this? If, hypothetically, you're around 40 with young kids, and say your ex isn't in the picture, and you're looking for a husband... Are you even looking for a step-dad? And would you consider somebody up to 20 years older, or rather stay single? They probably wouldn’t care or give it much thought to be frank. You’re two consensual adults getting frisky and maybe you being older/having already been down the dad route is a turn on in the same way you have fond memories of being a dad. It’s just what makes you click as a couple. The part “and you’re looking for a husband” paired with the stark contrast of “or rather stay single” made me chuckle. It depends on the person. There are plenty of women (and men) looking for lifelong companionship. I’m not sure about locking it down with marriage as a fair number of people don’t look to remarry after divorce (that one is a toss up) but sure, companionship is pretty common. I don’t think you’ll have any issues in regards to that.
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