Holly1991 Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 , I have a wonderful partner, a beautiful son, but the last 3/4 months I have been feeling lonely, can't stop thinking about how my life used to be, I miss sometimes just being me not partner / mum, I can't help but feel it's not enough . Need some advice as it's driving me crazy Link to post Share on other sites
MsMamma Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 I remember this feeling so well.. it really hit me when I turned 30 that all I'd ever been in my adult life was a mum. I decided to say yes to opportunities and I started by joining a gym, eating healthy and I met people that way. Eventually I went trekking. I left my husband. I did some more study. I built a house. I chose to do things that built back my identity and it was the best thing I ever did. I'd highly recommend it. You can still do things for yourself when you're a mum. Be kind and put yourself first. After all, if youre unhappy it reflects in everything else in your life. Happy you means happy kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Holly1991 Posted June 25, 2023 Author Share Posted June 25, 2023 Thankyou, you almost feel that it's only you feeling that way, but nice to know it isn't just a feeling I have, think sometimes your repetitiveness, of every day routine, I'm 32 and Yano when sometimes you just feel like your life is in a rut but you have what you wanted out of life but it just doesn't seem enough I feel like 85% is what I've always wanted but there's this 15% I question myself and think what is it I feel like I want / missing, yea I may rejoin gym or something just for me to have and enjoy as me. X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 1 hour ago, Holly1991 said: , I have a wonderful partner, a beautiful son, but the last 3/4 months I have been feeling lonely, can't stop thinking about how my life used to be. Sorry this is happening. How long have you been together? How old is your child? What's been happening or different over the last 4 months? Do you both work outside the house? Do you have alone time and date nights? Do you two socialize and do fun things together or have you fallen into a household mom and dad rut? How did your life used to be? Are you feeling saddled down with childcare and domestic drugery? Have you spoken to your partner about it? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 You sound very burnt out. I think MsMamma hit the nail on the head suggesting more activities that you love to do and taking time out. Like Wiseman I’m also curious about your family/relationship dynamics at home. Why isn’t your partner supporting you if you have other hobbies or interests? Is your partner even aware you enjoy doing other things? Do YOU know what would restore your joy and motivation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Holly1991 Posted June 25, 2023 Author Share Posted June 25, 2023 (edited) Home life can be stressful, I.e just the daily stresses of life, my dads been poorly a lot since beginning of the year ( alcoholism) so that's been challenging to say the least, my sons just turned 12, he's amazing boy, but as obvious can be a git with attitude, as they all are 🤣 work life - I hate it! Hate my job dread going in every day! But I know what to do to change this exspect of life relationship- it's good, but i want more out of it.. we've been together for 13 years, since I was 19, sometimes I feel like we've gotten into such a routine, that sometimes we forget we're still young and I want that love rush feeling when you first get with someone back. I haven't spoke to him about how I feel, I find it hard to express my feelings about it, we've had discussions about relationship in the past but it always faded back into the routine I always thought I'd be married etc by the age of 32, and I've always wanted another baby but that's a rocky subject everything just hit at once, and it's been nice talking about it with no judgements x Edited June 25, 2023 by Holly1991 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 25, 2023 Share Posted June 25, 2023 I very much understand wanting that early love rush back, but truly, it's a state of mind which comes about from all those new relationship hormones and adrenaline. If someone could bottle it, they'd make billions $$$. That doesn't mean that the following period should be dull or in a rut. At the very least, you'd want to be great companions and lovers, with them being your most loved person. But if things are much less than that, you've got some thinking to do. What's happening with marriage (or lack there of?) And having a second baby? What makes the situation rocky? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 26, 2023 Share Posted June 26, 2023 7 hours ago, Holly1991 said: I always thought I'd be married etc by the age of 32, and I've always wanted another baby but that's a rocky subject Is the getting married and having another child a topic of disagreement? Link to post Share on other sites
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