SlimShadysWife Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 If your girlfriend got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and asked you to marry her. How would you react? Are you open to this idea seeing as this isn't the norm? Or do you prefer it the traditional way? Please honest answers only. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 (edited) Can it be a proposal without her kneeling? I proposed to my partner, and he happily said yes. I wasn't on one knee though....we were naked in bed at the time. One knee from me would have been really cringey for him....just as I'd die of cringe if he'd proposed to me on his knee All in all, I'd say that people generally know their partners and what they'd be comfortable with. If a guy is in a relationship a woman who's progessive, then obviously he'd be comfortable with her progressive actions. If he's in a relationship with a traditional woman, then that is what he's comfortable with. Edited June 21, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SlimShadysWife Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 (edited) 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: Can it be a proposal without her kneeling? I proposed to my partner, and he happily said yes. I wasn't on one knee though....we were naked in bed at the time. One knee from me would have been really cringey for him....just as I'd die of cringe if he'd proposed to me on his knee No..kneeling plays a big part of the whole scenario here 😂I've asked some gen z and millennials in person they said hell no. You'd think they'd be more open minded. Edited June 21, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 (edited) 3 minutes ago, justaskingok said: No..kneeling plays a big part of the whole scenario here 😂 Oh, the cringe factor! Yep, even as a woman, I totally understand how uncomfortable a kneeling proposal is 😖 I'd hate that Edited June 21, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 The best proposals are probably the most original and personalized to the two people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 Are you assuming a potential male partner to feel emasculated by his lady proposing? I don’t particularly have any feeling about it. If you’ve got a very good reason to spend the rest of your life with someone or feel remotely inclined to be legally tied I’m thinking stuff like this is small peanuts, negligible in the big picture. What would you prefer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SlimShadysWife Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 4 minutes ago, glows said: Are you assuming a potential male partner to feel emasculated by his lady proposing? I don’t particularly have any feeling about it. If you’ve got a very good reason to spend the rest of your life with someone or feel remotely inclined to be legally tied I’m thinking stuff like this is small peanuts, negligible in the big picture. What would you prefer? I *think* like the traditional way, old school romance seems appealing to me for some reason *if I were to get proposed to*. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 4 minutes ago, justaskingok said: I *think* like the traditional way, old school romance seems appealing to me for some reason *if I were to get proposed to*. That’s perfectly ok. Find someone who gives you all that and more. I was married the traditional way, knees, rings, religion et al. And then we divorced. There’s no one way to do anything nor end anything for that matter! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SlimShadysWife Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 1 minute ago, glows said: That’s perfectly ok. Find someone who gives you all that and more. I was married the traditional way, knees, rings, religion et al. And then we divorced. There’s no one way to do anything nor end anything for that matter! Oh im not stressed personally. I don't have to worry about any of that because realistically no one is crazy enough to marry me. Curious about others views though. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 Just now, justaskingok said: Oh im not stressed personally. I don't have to worry about any of that because realistically no one is crazy enough to marry me. Curious about others views though. It may happen when you least expect it. Just be careful and don’t do what I did. Find someone compatible with you and who loves you for exactly the way you are. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 What about if your girlfriend proposed by singing Bruno Mars 'Marry You' while she was on stage at a karaoke night in front of a large-ish audience and finished with popping the question? I know someone who did this. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 3 hours ago, justaskingok said: I don't have to worry about any of that because realistically no one is crazy enough to marry me. I'm not sure if you mean to downplay yourself in self-deprecating humor or if you mean to seriously wonder why anyone would want to marry you. If this is meant to be self-deprecating humor, it might be helpful to think about what qualities you actually have that someone might love and cherish. Examples might be your sense of humor, your kindness and generosity, your work ethic, your loyalty, or any of the other positive qualities that made someone choose to marry you in the first place. Your value and self-worth are not dependent on whether or not someone else wants to marry you. Take some time to appreciate yourself and all that you bring to the table in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 2 hours ago, MsJayne said: What about if your girlfriend proposed by singing Bruno Mars 'Marry You' while she was on stage at a karaoke night in front of a large-ish audience and finished with popping the question? I know someone who did this. Did he say yes? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 If I want to marry her, yes. I would need to know she's not proposing out of desperation. As long as this is her confident move and I feel safe, yes. If I don't want to marry her, no. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 5 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: If I want to marry her, yes. I would need to know she's not proposing out of desperation. As long as this is her confident move and I feel safe, yes. If I don't want to marry her, no. That’s a very interesting thought in regards to desperation. Do you mean out of loneliness or in a clock ticking sort of way? I can see why that would make a person uneasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 (edited) If I wanted to marry her, I don’t think it would matter how we got there. Who proposed and how it was done is pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things. And as has been pointed out, does not impact the quality of the marriage in any way. Edited June 22, 2023 by Weezy1973 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 (edited) That’s a very interesting thought in regards to desperation. Do you mean out of loneliness or in a clock ticking sort of way? I can see why that would make a person uneasy. Yes, I mean I don't want to say yes to someone who is desperate. But this question is mute because I wouldn't "want" to marry someone who is desperate. And yes, desperate meaning ticking clock ... or desperate to escape loneliness or desperate to feel normal, desperate to check the "married" box to feel normal or meet family expectations or friendship expectations. Desperate in that they don't really know what I'm feeling and exactly whether a proposal is right for me at the time. My commitment to myself these days is that I will screen for desperation all along the way. I want to cut things off if they are deeply desperate, long before any idea of marriage comes up. Oh, and taking the initiative on marriage discussions is not in itself a sign of being desperate. Someone can be confident and whole and conclude that marriage would be good for us without trying to fix their life through marriage. Edited June 22, 2023 by Lotsgoingon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 Hypothetically, I'd be fine with a GF asking me to marry her. For me personally, I'd prefer she simply ask rather than doing a fancy proposal. A public, down on one knee cliche traditional proposal would also make me feel awkward, in private also but perhaps less so. I guess the reason for my discomfort is that it makes it a high-pressure situation and I'd view myself as being cruel and/or embarrassing both of us if I say no. While I'm not the strictest by any means WRT gender roles in relationships, such a direct and complete reversal of the traditional roles involved also seem "performative". Is this about us and getting married, or is an opportunity being taken to make a "statement" of sorts? Why is that necessary - couldn't "statements" be made in less personal and ultimately more effective ways? I do believe most women (at least the one's I've met) would make pretty sure the answer was going to be yes before making such a "move". That probably makes the fancy proposal aspect unnecessary as well, and so it also seems like it would be "superfluous" (to me at least). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 I read the origins of bending at the knee are derived from medieval times and knights. But this makes little sense considering noblewomen were more likely to be exchanged as chattel. Can someone verify? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 18 hours ago, basil67 said: Did he say yes? Yes he did . Thank God, otherwise it would have been a whole roomful of squirmy embarrassment. She'd been waiting ten years. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 1 hour ago, mark clemson said: Hypothetically, I'd be fine with a GF asking me to marry her. For me personally, I'd prefer she simply ask rather than doing a fancy proposal. A public, down on one knee cliche traditional proposal would also make me feel awkward, in private also but perhaps less so. I guess the reason for my discomfort is that it makes it a high-pressure situation and I'd view myself as being cruel and/or embarrassing both of us if I say no. While I'm not the strictest by any means WRT gender roles in relationships, such a direct and complete reversal of the traditional roles involved also seem "performative". Is this about us and getting married, or is an opportunity being taken to make a "statement" of sorts? Why is that necessary - couldn't "statements" be made in less personal and ultimately more effective ways? I do believe most women (at least the one's I've met) would make pretty sure the answer was going to be yes before making such a "move". That probably makes the fancy proposal aspect unnecessary as well, and so it also seems like it would be "superfluous" (to me at least). Even for a man proposing to woman, ditto to all of this. The high risk of embarrassment, the performative aspect. It's a nope from me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 22, 2023 Share Posted June 22, 2023 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: Yes he did . Thank God, otherwise it would have been a whole roomful of squirmy embarrassment. She'd been waiting ten years. Definitely lucky for her that he did. Super high risk! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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