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Breaking up for the second time after two weeks (is over the phone acceptable)


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Posted

Hi everyone. I'm a 26 y/o male. About 3 months ago I dated a guy for a month. I felt a constant discomfort with the relationship, but couldn't adress what was off. I ended things in person and he was truly sweet and took it pretty good. Two weeks ago he called me and asked if I wanted to try again. I missed him and since I couldn't adress what was off I agreed to try again. Since then we met 3 times. He went abroad last friday and coming back tomorrow night. Ever since we got "back together" I couldn't shake the feeling this isn't right for me. Today I finally understood what I couldn't accept about him , and I am sure I want to end things for good. I have bpd and severe anxiety and depression, today I threw up just thinking about breaking up again in person. We also live an hour apart and I will have to set a meeting and travel  just for breaking up in person again. I know it is best to break up in person and I would hate to hurt his feelings. But I feel like doing it in person after only two weeks and 3 dates is a little too dramatic, and also so much for me to take. Do you guys think it could be acceptable to break up over a phone call in this situation? 

If I will decide it requires doing it in person I will be able to stand it , but really would love to spare it if possible. Thanks a lot!

Posted
43 minutes ago, decojo said:

 I finally understood what I couldn't accept about him , and I am sure I want to end things for good. I have bpd and severe anxiety and depression, today I threw up just thinking about breaking up again in person. 

Sorry this is happening. Trust your instincts. It doesn't really matter how you break up, as long as it's calm and sincere. A phone call is fine and can prevent confrontation.

Focus on taking care of yourself and your physical and mental health. Take a break from dating until you feel more stabilized.

Posted
9 hours ago, decojo said:

Do you guys think it could be acceptable to break up over a phone call in this situation? 

Yes, it's fine. 

You're stressing yourself out way too much for such a short-lived romance, OP. You're also being far too hard on yourself for prefering to end it over the phone. It's completely reasonable in this context. 

Posted
12 hours ago, decojo said:

Today I finally understood what I couldn't accept about him

What can't you accept about him?

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