mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago. He said he needed a break. I let a couple of days pass before calling to clarify the "terms" of the break...you know is this so that you can get yourself together or are we broken up ...that kind of thing. The conversation didn't go well. I did a lot of crying. He insisted that nothing had to change, we could be friends. He had paid for a plane ticket and wanted me to visit him anyway that weekend. I told him no. ...I said that I coudn't be around him feeling the way I did with this new spin on things. When he asked for the third time, I told him that I needed to focus on an upcoming exam. He insisted that people break up and get back together all the time, and I told him I never had (although I swear I thought he was my future and wanted this to be true in our case). He begged that we stay in contact and be friends for the here and now... I told him that I wouldn't be calling him anymore (although I told him that I can't imagine not having him in my life anymore/ not knowing him anymore) and that he wouldn't hear from me again in life (I don't want this to be true either for the here and now. maybe after time I will) I told him that right now, he wasn't being my friend (he refused to let me know why he was breaking up with me...though i believe he met another girl....so I could move on to the next guy without all the drama of unresolved issues) that he was being HIS friend...He swore he loved me more than any woman in the world over and over and that he hated to hear me cry. I told him that my tears were because it hurt, I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, and I wasn't trying to make him stay with me or anything I just hurt. I told him that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I want what God has for me. He said that the break was necessary and that if he did come back it would be forever...for marriage. I asked him how when he was so sure of us in the beginning of our relationship could I trust him a second time if he came back after all of this confusion. He asked if I was angry with him...and I told him that I was angry because he pushed so hard in the beginning and made me believe that he really wanted "us" just to turn around and do this. It seems as if he intentionally set out to conquer and hurt me. Maybe I am just hurting... My questions...... 1. I did a lot of crying...did I lose my dignity in all of this? I hope that I said the right things through the tears to let him know that I respected and loved myself enough to not accept a half commitment from a man. 2. Did the things I DID say place a wedge so tight that he would feel that he could never come back if he ever did want to? We haven't spoken in two weeks now. 3. How can he love me and not care enough to call?? Please know that I am not here waiting for him to come back....but after many many relationships, I really thought he was the one, and that for the moment, I hope that we might have a future together. I couldn't take him back if he came tomorrow though. Things would seriously have to be different....and i think this IS really a good thing no matter how bad it hurts. Its not good to be in a one sided relationship.
chocolate_boy Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 The thing you have to remember is it was out of your control, you love him you wanted the love to work, but it ends when they walk out the door. This guy you love with all your heart and soul, looked at your awesome relationship and you and said "thanks I'll try my luck elsewhere". You need to respect yourself more, it's HIS choice to not have you in his life, so don't be. Stay no contact, this will help you heal and let him see what he is missing. At least your ex wants to be friends, mine couldn't care less about me it seems. You already felt like **** after losing dignity by begging, you can regain this by playing it cool now and not contacting him. When/If he wants you back in his life (and he probably will, the grass is rarely greener on the other side) then don't just lie down and let him walk all over you, you need to show this guy you're not disposable and will not take someone throwing you away like you mean nothing. 99% of times (unless you put them through hell) the ex's always get curious and try to come back in some way (maybe not get back with you, but it drives them crazy), take this from someone who has been in that position, its very odd when your ex just vanishes. Good luck and stay strong xx
Author mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 okay.....how did i beg? i told him that i wasn't asking him to stay with me. i told him that i didn't want to be with someone that didn't want to be with me....
chocolate_boy Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Ok sorry, thought you meant that with the tears, if you didn't fair play. But if you feel you have got dignity, you can regain it.
Author mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 i wasn't playing a game with him. i don't do that at all. i think that a lot of men believe women are conniving when we are simply expressing our emotions. my feelings were what they were. and my tears were a manifestation of them.
chocolate_boy Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 No no, you're reading me wrong. I simply thought you cried and begged, which you say you didn't. And no one said all women are conniving, however in my experience a lot of them don't express their emotions at all during a split, I know my last two have poured out their hearts and souls to their friends, but not a word to me. At least you're being open, that's all you can do.
Author mooncloudprincess Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 okay..sorry for the misunderstanding....do you all care that we are honest in the end?
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