That feeling of emptiness that cant go away

[kylian101]

Where does this feelin come from and how do we resolve it? I've felt like this for many years, many of those years through which i struggled with personnal relationships, family problem, miserable jobs etc. Yet now is different to some extent, things have turned around, im 30, i just became a police officer, i have a good job, a good home good family and i still cant shake that feeling of what is missing. i know i abuse alcohol idk if thats my coping mechanism or what it is, im single i dont really do anything i just exist and im pretty miserable most of the time. there has to be more to life than how i am livingg yet i cannot find the remedy. i have no ambition no goals and i really cant decide what i want which is so irritating. have you all ever felt like this and if so what changes did you make to solve it?

[Alpacalia]

25 minutes ago, kylian101 said:

Where does this feelin come from and how do we resolve it?

Have you ever felt an emptiness that you couldn't explain?

Yes, but it can be explained.

It's ego, and ego cannot be satiated. Emptiness begins the moment we're born into this world and we start creating our ego. Over time, the ego will become stronger and will make you feel like you need to do something to fill the emptiness. The truth is, no amount of achievement, money, or success can fill that void. The only way to fill the void is to understand the source of your ego and release it.

Feelings of emptiness are common. You're not alone. Anyone can experience feelings of emptiness, regardless of their mental health history. You're a police officer so you're more prone to things like depression or unresolved trauma. So, you'll need a good support system. Don't be too harsh or beat yourself up about feeling empty.

 

[basil67]

I have no doubt that your alcohol abuse and feelings of emptiness are tied in together, each probably feeding the other.  Have you seen a therapist who can help you with both the alcohol and to unpack your feelings? 

Here's a bit of info about the connection https://psychcentral.com/lib/codependency-addiction-and-emptiness#1

 

[glows]

Do you have family problems still? Or people dragging you down? Be selective with your company. Get sober and don’t drink anymore. Find support to stay sober asap. 

You have to get rid of the crap in the way of feeling good and motivated. Chances are most have been where you are even if at varying stages or levels. Create better boundaries and that starts with getting your life in order and staying sober. 

While you’re doing that, also engage in positive or healthy habits. Go and socialize even if it takes you out of your comfort zone. Find local meet ups related to your interests. You’re not going to be curious or interested in anything with habits that drag you down and with people who use or abuse your trust. Clear the way and then restart your life.

Edited May 30, 2023 by glows

[Will am I]

I recognize these feelings and in younger years battled with depression.

Feelings are somewhat tied to circumstances, but that link is not as strong as you might expect. A positive change in circumstances has an undeniable influence on our feelings, but much of that effect is temporary and eventually our emotions return to their average level.

There are a few ideas about this though.

A sense of purpose is more susstainable than a sense of happiness. Finding your purpose is a beautiful and long quest.  
If you were to chase one mental state, curiousity might be your best pick.

What would you like to explore? What would you like yo learn?

[Alpacalia]

I like @Will am I's comments.

Happiness is fleeting and can be replaced by sadness or other emotions. Curiosity is a great choice because it allows us to explore our passions, grow, and discover our purpose!

How are you feeling, OP?

[Wiseman2]

On 5/29/2023 at 2:01 PM, kylian101 said:

. i know i abuse alcohol idk if thats my coping mechanism i just exist and im pretty miserable most of the time. 

You seem to have really good insight into things.

See a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Get some tests done. Be frank about the sense of isolation and inertia. Be forthcoming about the drinking and that you're concerned about it.

Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. You may be self-medicating and getting to the root cause could help you out.

Please remember people in high stress professions like yours are at greater risk for anxiety, depression and substance use.

Maybe you're not ready to quit drinking but read up on things for info and support:

https://www.aa.org/self-assessment

Edited June 1, 2023 by Wiseman2

[seeyoung87]

On 5/29/2023 at 2:01 PM, kylian101 said:

Where does this feelin come from and how do we resolve it? I've felt like this for many years, many of those years through which i struggled with personnal relationships, family problem, miserable jobs etc. Yet now is different to some extent, things have turned around, im 30, i just became a police officer, i have a good job, a good home good family and i still cant shake that feeling of what is missing. i know i abuse alcohol idk if thats my coping mechanism or what it is, im single i dont really do anything i just exist and im pretty miserable most of the time. there has to be more to life than how i am livingg yet i cannot find the remedy. i have no ambition no goals and i really cant decide what i want which is so irritating. have you all ever felt like this and if so what changes did you make to solve it?

I understand completely.  I struggle with feeling empty and have for the last couple of years.  I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.  The main thing I try to do in recent weeks is to sit down and write.  When I say write I don't mean full blown pages.  Sometimes I write little notes and put them in a glass jar.  Have you sought any professional guidance?