F20 M28 My boyfriend planned to be unfaithful to his ex just the day we turned months.

[OLivia00]

The F21 M27

My boyfriend planned to be unfaithful to his ex just the day we turned months old, he told me lies to cover his departure that day. 

The day I discovered it I acted normally, I didn’t know how to react, so when he asked me to move (we had financial problems that created tension and ended up in conflict) I agreed, I think I also wanted to leave because I packed everything at that time. 

We talked about the future of our relationship at that time, we remembered that we would go on, I told him that I didn’t want deception, that I wanted to hear from his mouth that he really loved me, just a confirmation, he got angry and ended up with me because I was going to think that all the time we were going together.

I feel very bad, something guilty too, there are a lot of things that I don’t want to mention that put in context many things, but I still love it because it’s my first love, and I know that when we both are financially stable things would be solved but I learned about it and I do not know if I want to go back with him to give myself the opportunity someday.

I think it doesn’t matter how bad a relationship is, being unfaithful is horrible, we had the same thoughts about it and I’ve done just the same thing, I don’t understand it, you shouldn’t be a deceiver, I wasn’t infidel or thought of being it even with all the problems and negative feelings we had. I know it didn’t happen, but it was going to happen and if it did not happen now it would be at another time, because if he dared to write to another woman to plan out, I suppose he wasn’t loving me anymore at all.

 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, OLivia00 said:

The F21 M27

My boyfriend planned to be unfaithful to his ex just the day we turned months old, . he asked me to move.

How long have you been dating? Do you live together? 

It's good you ended things and moved out. There seems to be a lot of unhappiness, distrust and conflict.

Are you implying he cheated with his ex GF while you lived together? It's unclear.

[OLivia00]

31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been dating? Do you live together? 

It's good you ended things and moved out. There seems to be a lot of unhappiness, distrust and conflict.

Are you implying he cheated with his ex GF while you lived together? It's unclear.

We took as a couple a short time, on Friday we had 6 months of boyfriends, we moved each month to meet, I had problems in my house and he told me to move, but I did not ask for anything, I even denied myself several times because I thought that the money would not be enough, he assured me that everything would be fine, that he had a salary, but nothing of that was real, his parents were in charge of their expenses in the department where we lived. he did not know how to manage the money and everything went in two days and ended up asking his mother, which conflicted them and aggravated the situation that my parents did not support me.

Everything he did only clarifies to me that he was seriously willing to fool me and go with me, he blocked his ex, all, before he got out with me he already had them blocked, but I suspected things were not going well when he rejected me in everything, sentimentally and physically, which caused me problems with myself, I entered the gym because he wanted me to be more active or whatever, but neither because I have an athletic body he wanted these last weeks to approach me, I say it because his constant rejection of intimacy alerted me. 

I looked in his cell phone and he was using an app to see his ex-girlfriend’s states, ALL, since as long as 2 months ago he was repeatedly seeing his states, I talked to him about that, he was upset because he invaded his privacy, thing I never did before, and I didn’t apologize, he’s been very bad, but he told me that she was pregnant and that his friends bothered him with that it was his, for that reason’he saw his states. I forgave him and we went on, but he threatened me by saying that any other person would have finished me at that moment, I thought any girl would have ended it too. 

He removed all his apps from the tablet we shared, that alerted me too, hid his cell phone and removed the history. he on his computer had instagram, I saw his messages and he unlocked his ex, wrote to her on an account that she has of art photos, and planned to be seen within two days. Just that day I discovered the messages, he mentioned about moving with my parents, and I knew it was because he wanted to be alone to deceive me and that he would soon end me by phone or something by style so I didn’t have to face it. 

He did not commit the act of being unfaithful physically, because as I said, I moved myself before, the conversation he and I had where not even he could tell me with all the words that he wanted to be with me and was angry at something he knew he would be in two days that would be infidel to me, that he thought it and planned it and thought I didn’t know, to see him lying to my face that day all day when I asked him that if he loved me and said that yes, he hugged me, all that broke my heart.

[mark clemson]

Life is a marathon not a sprint, and you are 21. Move on from this and one day he (and all of this) will be just a sweet but also somewhat painful memory (which is what breakups tend to become eventually). Work on yourself and the men will come to you. There are other fish in the sea.

[glows]

There’s child support to think about if that’s his kid and his ex is pregnant. It doesn’t sound like he can support himself let alone a new girlfriend or a child so tread carefully. 

If you met as the “other woman” I am so sorry. What a world of heartache. Move on. Don’t look back. And make sure you can support yourself financially. Don’t depend on anyone for that.

[Ageless Wisdom23]

This relationship is not off to a good and healthy start.  And I foresee problems down a problem path.  I don't feel he is for you.  Don't go back nor look back.  He sounds complicated and untrustworthy.

[JTSW]

So what you are saying is, he cheated on you with his ex.

You have been together a couple of months and he is your first love.

You did the right thing by packing your bags and leaving.

Don't give him another chance.

Move on.