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Girlfriend (f31) being short with me (m31) and removed our photos from instagram. Was it down to me or is there something else?

ramboparrot

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glows Established Member

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Ok. Stay away from her friends and family. Friendship wasn’t a good idea from the start and it was a misjudgement on both your parts to believe it was realistic. 

From her tone it’s clear she’s not in love with you. There may have been care as for an acquaintance or friend but she doesn’t feel the same way that you do for her. If you pushed her to this point for her to admit that now you have your answer. 

After someone speaks like this and shows you how they think/feel, I hope you don’t keep thinking “she’ll come back because she has in the past”. Think twice about letting someone in again who has already thought lesser of you and doesn’t want to be with you. Dont keep going for hot/cold relationships. Finish with that. Change that dating pattern. 

Are you feeling relieved to have this out in the open? 

Wiseman2 Established Member

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4 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

Her reply was  Not my fault your not getting the message and accepting it’s over. If we were friends you’ll be wanting to get back together and it’s never going to happen! Tuff s***! It is what is! We are friends but from a distance! I don’t want you to be there for me! So again for the last time accept and move on before I cut you out my life completely. Stop begging it and forcing me to do s***”

She replied “it’s for the best. No one stays in touch with an ex it’s too hard for the person wishing it wasn’t over. In this situation it’s you. The reason I removed you from instagram is because my best friend told me you upload a pity post on Facebook feeling sorry for yourself yet again. 

Please stay no contact. It will be best for you. Please stop contacting her people or following or commenting about her on social media. Step far away. 

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. She's being vile and abusive  to push you away, so please stop chasing her.

The last thing you need is a  harassment or staking charge or a restraining order against you. Once someone tells you in writing that it's over and to leave her alone,  you need to refocus and cease and desist with the contact.

Edited by Wiseman2
ExpatInItaly Established Member

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5 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

I’d only showed her mum about the conversation where we’d agreed to going on holiday and buying a house

What was your purpose in doing this? 

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ramboparrot Established Member

ramboparrot

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7 hours ago, glows said:

Ok. Stay away from her friends and family. Friendship wasn’t a good idea from the start and it was a misjudgement on both your parts to believe it was realistic. 

From her tone it’s clear she’s not in love with you. There may have been care as for an acquaintance or friend but she doesn’t feel the same way that you do for her. If you pushed her to this point for her to admit that now you have your answer. 

After someone speaks like this and shows you how they think/feel, I hope you don’t keep thinking “she’ll come back because she has in the past”. Think twice about letting someone in again who has already thought lesser of you and doesn’t want to be with you. Dont keep going for hot/cold relationships. Finish with that. Change that dating pattern. 

Are you feeling relieved to have this out in the open? 

Yeah and no.

No because I should’ve accepted the breakup from the moment she said it and I feel like I’ve pushed her to this. After being blocked on whatsapp, I went on instagram and I did apologise and say i’ll move on but she hasn’t seen it yet (I can unsend if required), I just couldn’t leave it on that.

Yeah, because it’s made it clear that she isn’t interested in me and I now don’t expect her to come back which is good for my healing.

But I am left with regrets on how I dealt with it all, her lasting impression of me when our moments in person were for the most part happy. And I’m still confused last weekend with her saying she loves me, planning our future together, etc and how it transitioned to this.

Like she said she battles dark demons everyday. If we were still together, I think it would’ve whittled me down bit by bit

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ramboparrot Established Member

ramboparrot

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4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Please stay no contact. It will be best for you. Please stop contacting her people or following or commenting about her on social media. Step far away. 

Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. She's being vile and abusive  to push you away, so please stop chasing her.

The last thing you need is a  harassment or staking charge or a restraining order against you. Once someone tells you in writing that it's over and to leave her alone,  you need to refocus and cease and desist with the contact.

Glad I read this. I do apologise for the essay but I had to include her responses in full.

I was almost tempted to message her best friend on facebook to say how sorry I was for how I dealt with the breakup, for not respecting my ex’s choice and pushing it too far.
 

My reasoning for this was because she was the one telling my ex about any statuses I put up like “Should’ve done better, my fault in the end”. My ex only used instagram, but I was already Facebook friends with her best friend before we met. So part of me was hoping she’d forward that apology on, but now I’m thinking by doing that it puts me in a worse position than I am already. Correct? It seems like good intentions in my eyes, but my ex won’t see it that way.

I would never go near her house or anything. The fact she’s blocked me says it all and I hate that I pushed her to that

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ramboparrot Established Member

ramboparrot

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3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What was your purpose in doing this? 

She’d helped me understand what to do when it came to her thinking in that moment. Wondered if there was something she was seeing whilst being at home with her that explained the sudden contrast in being into me, planning her future, etc to breaking up. I was confused with it all and her mum helped provide clarity. She’d had her grievance counselling that Tuesday she told me and that her emotions were in the air.

I’ve not been constantly checking up on her through her mum btw. Only times I asked about her was end of march during first breakup and recently. Sent a few messages back and forth.

Does this really make me look like a psychopath or is she just lashing out because I’ve gone behind her back? Obviously I did this out of care on how to support better

Edited by ramboparrot
Fox Sake Established Member

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45 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

Yeah and no.

No because I should’ve accepted the breakup from the moment she said it and I feel like I’ve pushed her to this. After being blocked on whatsapp, I went on instagram and I did apologise and say i’ll move on but she hasn’t seen it yet (I can unsend if required), I just couldn’t leave it on that.

Yeah, because it’s made it clear that she isn’t interested in me and I now don’t expect her to come back which is good for my healing.

But I am left with regrets on how I dealt with it all, her lasting impression of me when our moments in person were for the most part happy. And I’m still confused last weekend with her saying she loves me, planning our future together, etc and how it transitioned to this.

Like she said she battles dark demons everyday. If we were still together, I think it would’ve whittled me down bit by bit

You have nothing to regret. There will come a moment you’ll be thankful for going through this because it made you a stronger person. Emotional and mental strength outweigh physical. 

Did she start going to the gym already? My take on all this is that she started seeing guys at the gym she was physically attracted to, wanted to turn you into what she wanted and when she couldn’t accept you for you- she started going cold and distant doing the slow withdraw and deleting photos so new friends wouldn’t see any evidence. 
 

She sounds shallow and insensitive to you. She wanted to call the shots and dictate how things went. Sure you could have dealt with some of the things better or more tactfully but really, you and her just weren’t meant to be. 
 

Find someone who respects you and loves you for who you are, not what they think they can change you into. Stay NC. Delete her from everything. Un-send that message on instagram because it only makes you look weak and desperate- she doesn’t see the place it’s coming from and that’s on her. You’ll be okay man ;) onward and upward for you 

Edited by Fox Sake
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glows Established Member

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Yes, you’re crossing the line here, OP. It’s never a good idea to ever cross that line contacting someone else’s friends and family.

You’re showing her you are exactly WHY she broke up with you. You’re not able to contain your impulses and restrain yourself. It goes from impulsive Facebook statuses displaying your emotions and embarrassing her /airing your breakup publicly to this - contacting her mother and a desire to contact her friend. She was specifically horrified at your actions several times but you keep going against her wishes and disrespecting those boundaries. 

It goes from bad to worse and don’t let it get even worse with a restraining order. 

Stop while you’re still ahead and don’t dig yourself a deeper hole. No, I don’t think any of this is salvageable. It’s completely over.

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basil67 Established Member

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1 hour ago, ramboparrot said:

After being blocked on whatsapp, I went on instagram and I did apologise and say i’ll move on but she hasn’t seen it yet (I can unsend if required), I just couldn’t leave it on that.

 

1 hour ago, ramboparrot said:

I was almost tempted to message her best friend on facebook to say how sorry I was for how I dealt with the breakup, for not respecting my ex’s choice and pushing it too far.

NOOOO!  Just stop!  Remove the IG message and do not contact her friend.

She's already gotten furious and blocked you over contacting her mom and for the awful FB post.  I don't know if this could get any worse, but continuing in trying to contact her will only keep reassuring her that you don't listen or respect her boundaries.  And while I certainly wouldn't use the term 'psychopath', you are showing a complete lack of respect to her boundaries. She'll likely be worried that you'll start stalking her. 

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ramboparrot Established Member

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1 hour ago, basil67 said:

 

NOOOO!  Just stop!  Remove the IG message and do not contact her friend.

She's already gotten furious and blocked you over contacting her mom and for the awful FB post.  I don't know if this could get any worse, but continuing in trying to contact her will only keep reassuring her that you don't listen or respect her boundaries.  And while I certainly wouldn't use the term 'psychopath', you are showing a complete lack of respect to her boundaries. She'll likely be worried that you'll start stalking her. 

Unsent the message which hadn’t been seen and just left it. You’re right. Leave it as it is.

Man this sucks. For the most part we always had fun in person and was amazingly comfortable with each other, etc. I get if she lost the spark and her heart wasn’t in it for various reasons especially when she needed to focus on herself in counselling. It just sucks it got to this stage and it’s all my fault.

All I had to do was just agree to letting her go, but fear took over! And now she’ll always see me as that psycho guy, not the guy she used to be in love with

Edited by ramboparrot
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ramboparrot Established Member

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2 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

You have nothing to regret. There will come a moment you’ll be thankful for going through this because it made you a stronger person. Emotional and mental strength outweigh physical. 

Did she start going to the gym already? My take on all this is that she started seeing guys at the gym she was physically attracted to, wanted to turn you into what she wanted and when she couldn’t accept you for you- she started going cold and distant doing the slow withdraw and deleting photos so new friends wouldn’t see any evidence. 
 

She sounds shallow and insensitive to you. She wanted to call the shots and dictate how things went. Sure you could have dealt with some of the things better or more tactfully but really, you and her just weren’t meant to be. 
 

Find someone who respects you and loves you for who you are, not what they think they can change you into. Stay NC. Delete her from everything. Un-send that message on instagram because it only makes you look weak and desperate- she doesn’t see the place it’s coming from and that’s on her. You’ll be okay man ;) onward and upward for you 

End of the day I want someone who wants to be with me. We had our issues but I don’t argue or severely disagree with someone for no reason. She was very “I have to do it this specific way” which might’ve been part of her autism. I was quite stubborn too. I’ve learned a lot mentally, especially with the break up. I’m usually much better with break ups than this, but this has been my most meaningful relationship so it hurt.

All her workouts were home based, she never went to the gym. We’d both put on weight eating badly over christmas so she wanted us both to reduce that. She was never happy with her waist. Nah, she removed the pics when I said if she wants to break things off if she’s feeling unhappy then she can, so she said “ok” then removed them.

Yeah, element of insensitivity there. She’d also always want to call the shots and it was almost like she was trying to teach me everything like I knew nothing. Or if I said something that was silly or wrong she’d look at me and say “what are you on about?” Or “no…”. Sometimes her tone was quite dry, but then other times she was so soppy, loving, etc. I even questioned bipolar at one point.

She did try to change me. Got me to go seek counselling for my overthinking whereas really it was just because I liked to talk a lot and explain things in detail. A few other things but I did resist which was part of the friction. She called me boring once because I was being more serious than the fun I was when we first met. She’s right, but her trauma, mood swings, etc eventually made me like that.

This was balanced by some really amazingly good fun times too, I’m not making her a monster here but it felt like I was dating two personalities.

Thanks for the advice, onwards and upwards. Unsent the message. Nothing to delete her on as she blocked me on whatsapp and removed me from instagram, so I could technically block her on instagram?

Edited by ramboparrot
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ramboparrot Established Member

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2 hours ago, glows said:

Yes, you’re crossing the line here, OP. It’s never a good idea to ever cross that line contacting someone else’s friends and family.

You’re showing her you are exactly WHY she broke up with you. You’re not able to contain your impulses and restrain yourself. It goes from impulsive Facebook statuses displaying your emotions and embarrassing her /airing your breakup publicly to this - contacting her mother and a desire to contact her friend. She was specifically horrified at your actions several times but you keep going against her wishes and disrespecting those boundaries. 

It goes from bad to worse and don’t let it get even worse with a restraining order. 

Stop while you’re still ahead and don’t dig yourself a deeper hole. No, I don’t think any of this is salvageable. It’s completely over.

She gave my number to her mum if I ever wanted to contact her, which was the funny thing.

It’s a shame it’s not salvageable and completely over, but I guess had I just agreed to the breakup first hand she made it clear she didn’t want to be with me anymore and lost the spark.even before she knew about my messages to her mum. This was the second time she questioned her love for me, by this point I don’t think she saw any future regardless.

Sure had I played it cool she may have missed me and come back again, but then who’s to say her ongoing personal issues may have affected her feelings for the relationship again?

I think end result will be the same, she was never coming back either way. Unfortunately I’ve tarnished any good to my name by my actions. I just hope in time after the initial rage has gone she’ll see that I was speaking to her mum about her because I cared what was happening

Edited by ramboparrot
ExpatInItaly Established Member

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11 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

Does this really make me look like a psychopath or is she just lashing out because I’ve gone behind her back?

It makes you look like you have very poor boundaries and stick your nose where it doesn't belong. As an adult, is inappropriate to ask her mom about your ex and help you gain "clarity." That's not mature. It's something a teenager might do, but not a full-grown man. The break.up is between you and your ex. Recruiting her mom for insight or help is not acceptable. 

8 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

She gave my number to her mum if I ever wanted to contact her, which was the funny thing.

Surely you realize messaging her mom about the break-up is not what your ex intended by giving you her number. Come on, dude. 

11 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

I was almost tempted to message her best friend on facebook to say how sorry I was for how I dealt with the breakup, for not respecting my ex’s choice and pushing it too far.

Do you not see how messaging her friend would also be disrespecting your ex's choice and pushing it too far? You need to learn to back off when someone says stop. Don't keep trying to barge your way in when someone has tried to close the door on you. 

She isn't just lashing out. She is right that you over-stepped the mark and need to stop. Don't message her family or friends anymore.

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ramboparrot Established Member

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52 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It makes you look like you have very poor boundaries and stick your nose where it doesn't belong. As an adult, is inappropriate to ask her mom about your ex and help you gain "clarity." That's not mature. It's something a teenager might do, but not a full-grown man. The break.up is between you and your ex. Recruiting her mom for insight or help is not acceptable. 

Surely you realize messaging her mom about the break-up is not what your ex intended by giving you her number. Come on, dude. 

Do you not see how messaging her friend would also be disrespecting your ex's choice and pushing it too far? You need to learn to back off when someone says stop. Don't keep trying to barge your way in when someone has tried to close the door on you. 

She isn't just lashing out. She is right that you over-stepped the mark and need to stop. Don't message her family or friends anymore.

Yeah I did the wrong thing and I was totally thinking of myself in that situation to find peace with it all. Her mum has helped me with other things when I’ve had a few off days so I guess I naturally reverted to her about it. It’s annoying because I genuinely was doing it from a point of care but of course I understand from her point of view I’ve overstepped boundaries. 

That’s all that was said, just that short conversation with her mum. I’ve sent nothing to anyone else. Annoyingly I asked her mum for my spare key first then later on I asked my ex and forgot to say to her mum I’ve asked her directly which revealed what I had said.

Breakup would’ve still happened anyway, so same result just that she now hates me and wants her out of her life completely now. I don’t want someone in my life who says they need to “force themselves to be happy” with me. All these recent times with her that I thought were genuine moments were her pretending and it sucks. I know she wasn’t happy with herself with depression so I can’t take it personally as I did all I could in the good moments, just aside from that disagreement last Monday on facetime

But I’ll find someone out there who is more easy going and genuinely likes me. I just hate the early stages of dating sometimes 

basil67 Established Member

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OK, when you break up or have a falling out with a girlfriend, her mother is not the place to go for advice or comfort.  You need to go to your own friends/siblings/parents. 

I understand that you want a partner who is more easy going in the future.  But by the sounds of what you've written, being more easy going is a lesson which needs to start with you.

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2 hours ago, basil67 said:

OK, when you break up or have a falling out with a girlfriend, her mother is not the place to go for advice or comfort.  You need to go to your own friends/siblings/parents. 

I understand that you want a partner who is more easy going in the future.  But by the sounds of what you've written, being more easy going is a lesson which needs to start with you.

I agree, I’ve spoken to friends about it but I just thought her mum would have more insight. Bad idea in the end, I guess I got fearful and she helped with what was going in.

To be fair I am an easy going guy but she wasn’t easy going a lot of the time. She’d stress a little bit if things were out of control and her own issues caused her to snap a little. I was reactionary so I guess I need to work on being stronger there. After our first break up she didn’t snap so we were fine, I just didn’t like it when she tried to make me inferior or sound like I didn’t know about anything. Especially with our last facetime I should’ve just watched the video and not been stubborn.

She says it was nothing to do with that facetime call and she’d been like that for a while forcing herself to be happy, but seeing how different she was last weekend to after the call it felt like that caused it

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ramboparrot Established Member

ramboparrot

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Also things went from bad to worse, accidentally.

I was outside today and called my friend. It was sunny so couldn’t see my phone screen much. Anyway as we ended the call I naturally usually just press the red button to end the call.

He ends it a split second before I can and my phone is on the “recent calls” screen. Of course I press her name on that recent calls screen 😂 Soon as it rings I cancel.

Hopefully she blocked my number on iphone as well as whatsapp because I didn’t want to contact her any further lol

Weezy1973 Established Member

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11 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

To be fair I am an easy going guy…

No you’re not. You’re almost definitely co-dependent. This can come across as “easy going” as you don’t assert yourself and set boundaries. But it’s unhealthy. You need to dig in and figure out this why you’re like this. Therapy can help. At 31 you shouldn’t have the same emotional reaction as a teenager after a breakup. 

glows Established Member

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14 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

She gave my number to her mum if I ever wanted to contact her, which was the funny thing.

It’s a shame it’s not salvageable and completely over, but I guess had I just agreed to the breakup first hand she made it clear she didn’t want to be with me anymore and lost the spark.even before she knew about my messages to her mum. This was the second time she questioned her love for me, by this point I don’t think she saw any future regardless.

Sure had I played it cool she may have missed me and come back again, but then who’s to say her ongoing personal issues may have affected her feelings for the relationship again?

I think end result will be the same, she was never coming back either way. Unfortunately I’ve tarnished any good to my name by my actions. I just hope in time after the initial rage has gone she’ll see that I was speaking to her mum about her because I cared what was happening

This isn’t rage. It’s someone who has, more than once, expressed she doesn’t like your reactions. I agree she has her own issues but that same type of stubbornness and wilfulness will get you in a lot of trouble if you keep discrediting other people’s feelings and wishes. It’s very manipulative to frame this as “care” for what was happening. What was happening is that you both broke up. Her mother has nothing to do with your break up. 

It’s not clear why she gave you her mother’s number either. Was it in the event of an emergency? Most people take those things and never find the need for them. A break up is not a life and death emergency. It’s a disagreement to continue on as a couple. And that disagreement is solely between the two of you, involving no one else. You might have assumed her mother was a friend and that is very inappropriate. 

Hopefully you do actually realize this wasn’t appropriate and are not dismissing your ex’s reaction as “rage”. She’s not interested in dating anymore. The break up is about ending a relationship with a man whose reactions she doesn’t like. You’re incompatible.

 

21 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

Also things went from bad to worse, accidentally.

I was outside today and called my friend. It was sunny so couldn’t see my phone screen much. Anyway as we ended the call I naturally usually just press the red button to end the call.

He ends it a split second before I can and my phone is on the “recent calls” screen. Of course I press her name on that recent calls screen 😂 Soon as it rings I cancel.

Hopefully she blocked my number on iphone as well as whatsapp because I didn’t want to contact her any further lol

Butt dials and phone calls happen all the time. I wouldn’t worry about it. This isn’t an issue. 

 

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5 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

No you’re not. You’re almost definitely co-dependent. This can come across as “easy going” as you don’t assert yourself and set boundaries. But it’s unhealthy. You need to dig in and figure out this why you’re like this. Therapy can help. At 31 you shouldn’t have the same emotional reaction as a teenager after a breakup. 

I’ve been getting therapy for overthinking and I wasn’t like this for our first breakup or last relationship. I think because it came unexpected and we’d invested more into it. Felt like I had a lot more to lose. No idea why I did that this time, usually I just send a short and sweet message and hope they miss me over time

Acacia98 Established Member

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To echo what everyone else has said, you need to respect her boundaries.

Also, I want to suggest that you reach deep inside you and find that anger that you said you felt at being discarded so easily. Let that anger propel you to block her and her family and close friends on social media and everywhere else. I'm sorry, but it looks to me like yours was an unequal relationship. I think you loved/needed her more than she did you. It wasn't a healthy relationship. So it is truly for the best that it ended. If you must date, you should date people who are every bit as excited about you as you are about them. You deserve better than what you settled for in this relationship, OP.

Don't dwell too much on the way things ultimately ended. You are human. Humans make mistakes and then they learn from them. So learn whatever lessons there are to learn here and then be kind to yourself: forgive yourself. You're not a psychopath or whatever else she called you.

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Acacia98 Established Member

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17 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

I’ve been getting therapy for overthinking and I wasn’t like this for our first breakup or last relationship. I think because it came unexpected and we’d invested more into it. Felt like I had a lot more to lose. No idea why I did that this time, usually I just send a short and sweet message and hope they miss me over time

It's probably because you made the mistake of reconciling after the first breakup. Going back to a relationship that didn't meet your needs does something to you. It does some kind of emotional harm to you, and you come out of the experience with lower self-esteem. You may even convince yourself that you can't live without this other person. So the prospect of breaking up again frightens you and you're more scared than before of letting go. 

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13 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

To echo what everyone else has said, you need to respect her boundaries.

Also, I want to suggest that you reach deep inside you and find that anger that you said you felt at being discarded so easily. Let that anger propel you to block her and her family and close friends on social media and everywhere else. I'm sorry, but it looks to me like yours was an unequal relationship. I think you loved/needed her more than she did you. It wasn't a healthy relationship. So it is truly for the best that it ended. If you must date, you should date people who are every bit as excited about you as you are about them. You deserve better than what you settled for in this relationship, OP.

Don't dwell too much on the way things ultimately ended. You are human. Humans make mistakes and then they learn from them. So learn whatever lessons there are to learn here and then be kind to yourself: forgive yourself. You're not a psychopath or whatever else she called you.

It was a bit of both. Over the course of the relationship she was mostly the one chasing me and I was quite relaxed, but it wasn’t until realising I was losing her or she had a change of heart which reversed things. I think it’s the fear of letting go I can have trouble with. Will be discussing it on my next therapy session.

For the most part she was very interested in me, quite clingy and I liked that. I’d say we were as excited as each other but it varied at points, there were times she was more into me than I was and vice versa (right before both breakups)

Yeah, it sucks I didn’t just accept it so I’ll just have to write myself a generic response to breakups that I can paste every time to save my brain going into overdrive. Her lack of feelings also sucks, especially as the few days prior she was planning future, all over me and said she loves me. Maybe that’s what shocked me and made me act how I did.

I just hate that she wants nothing to do with me at all and sees me as this psychopath. That’s my regret. This last year is now tarnished. I know I’m not a psychopath but in her eyes that’s how she’ll see me

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9 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

It's probably because you made the mistake of reconciling after the first breakup. Going back to a relationship that didn't meet your needs does something to you. It does some kind of emotional harm to you, and you come out of the experience with lower self-esteem. You may even convince yourself that you can't live without this other person. So the prospect of breaking up again frightens you and you're more scared than before of letting go. 

Probably the first relationship where a girl came back to me after break up, but then it’s the first girl who’s ever said they loved me. That first breakup she said she loves me but not in love, then these last two months she was in love, then this last breakup when we’d spoken on the phone briefly she said she wasn’t sure she loves me. No idea if depression had a toll in that but is what it is.

She originally wanted to give it 6-12 months and we both focused on our therapy, but she ended up missing me wanting to give it another go. I should’ve stuck with that plan, but again I’ve never had anyone return after a breakup

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ramboparrot Established Member

ramboparrot

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That weekend before she had our photo as her lock screen photo which was odd if she’s saying the breakup wasn’t just because of that disagreement a few days later. She originally had it as her late son and her nephews a few weeks before.

On reflection I do wonder if sex was the issue. Before our first breakup things got a bit sparse like once or twice a month for a couple of months but she was in a bad mental state mentally with her son’s anniversary. She mentioned back then the spark had gone in bedroom but I always found it a bit difficult with the mood and depression she was experiencing.

She has brought up she wanted me to be more dominant in the bedroom

These last two months we’d have sex once a week when she came over to stay at the weekend. It was good the first week of May as I tried being bit more dominant, then weekend after I stepped it up but unfortunately could keep an errection. Weekend after that she was on her period, then that weekend before breakup we had it at her parents. That seemed to be going well but towards the end we heard someone walking up the stairs, I had finished but to be honest I would’ve preferred my place for privacy (she didn’t like staying at my flat much).

That was at the start of the weekend, when she came over to mine after finishing work at the end of the weekend we kissed passionately and found our way to my bed and I pushed her on in sexiest way I could, but her mind was on pizza. Unfortunately after we ate and sat on balcony she had to get back home.

Looking back I do wish I’d put more effort in frequency of having sex. When she was driving us she passionately wanted me to watch porn and be more dominant saying I had the full package minus that. She’s always mentioned she wants a great sex life, but suppose that wasn’t what I could offer. Then again she stuck with me for nearly a year so I don’t think that was the biggest issue, more my temper at times

It can be difficult to do foreplay with her and do more as she tends to get me to PIV when she sees I’m ready, sometimes it can be straight to the action but we don’t really move positions once we start one. I guess she wanted me to grab her a bit more and change positions but was difficult making too much noise at her parents!

Edited by ramboparrot
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