Girlfriend (f31) being short with me (m31) and removed our photos from instagram. Was it down to me or is there something else?

May 25, 2023

Her missing you isn’t going to change the issues in the relationship. All it does it repeats the cycle of on/off if nothing is resolved.

There’s a strong likelihood she wasn’t fake or acting but in denial. I can see where a grieving person may be clutching at any kind of company to fill that loneliness but I can’t speak for her. She certainly does seem unhappy overall.

May 25, 2023

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

There must have been issues other than the gym thing which would cause you to offer to walk away. I mean, if you really care about someone, you don't offer to break up over them being a bit cross or frustrated with you. And those issues would likely have been playing into her acceptance of your offer.

She's probably wondering the same about you. Why you'd want out.

I could tell she was angry at me from the facetime call we had and the responses she gave me. I didn’t want to break up but I was offering it to her if she wasn’t happy as I didn’t want her to stay in something that wasn’t making her happy.

I did make it clear that I still wanted the relationship.

Her mum said she had her grievance counselling that day and had locked herself in her bedroom all day as her emotions were up in the air. She could tell she was sad so I didn’t help with the situation. Possibly she’s lashed out because I gave her the chance to end it.

I’ll give it time and work on myself. If she misses me then great. She’s done this previously but do feel like this time it’s final. Last time I sent her a letter and it seemed to help with things but don’t think I’ll do it this time.

May 25, 2023

8 minutes ago, glows said:

Her missing you isn’t going to change the issues in the relationship. All it does it repeats the cycle of on/off if nothing is resolved.

There’s a strong likelihood she wasn’t fake or acting but in denial. I can see where a grieving person may be clutching at any kind of company to fill that loneliness but I can’t speak for her. She certainly does seem unhappy overall.

I think she did say she’d been in denial about it all on our phone call, as she’d been going back and forth. You’re right though, the cycle did repeat but this time I did feel like it was better. She was in better moods and I reacted better, but there were times I let things slip too. It’s annoying because given another chance I’d know I could do better. Unfortunately you can’t convince someone to give you another chance through logical explanation.

Edited May 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

May 25, 2023

8 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

I think she did say she’d been in denial about it all on our phone call, as she’d been going back and forth. You’re right though, the cycle did repeat but this time I did feel like it was better. She was in better moods and I reacted better, but there were times I let things slip too. It’s annoying because given another chance I’d know I could do better. Unfortunately you can’t convince someone to give you another chance through logical explanation.

Yeah, I hear you. Maybe you both made mistakes. It doesn’t make either of you horrible people but there is room for improvement. Hindsight is always 20/20.

She did mention buying a home and I got the sense earlier there may be a timeline here - house, marriage, kids etc. Did either of you agree on anything future related? It seemed odd to me that she was looking to buy a place with you considering the break ups and issues.

May 25, 2023

This relationship was not going to last, OP.

It's too dysfunctional and there's too much damage done now. It's hard, but this is better left in the past.

May 25, 2023

I must ask, are you out of shape physically?

either way, this woman sounds pretty phony... in those "nice" texts you shared, she sounded way over the top and cheesy. Which I've found is always a red flag for a cold hidden agenda. that appears to be the case here.

Edited May 25, 2023 by ccas93

May 25, 2023

21 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

Last time we broke up was due to her being in a bad place

Sorry this is happening. This is not as simple as a fitness plan. She has major issues that cycle and resurface.

On/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with an unhealthy attachment and lack of other opportunities.

Step back. Reflect on the turbulence of her mood extremes and instability. She clearly handles stress poorly and seems quite controlling.

Free yourself from this cycle. It seems more like you dodged a bullet. Stop trying to jump through her hoops and "do better". That only feeds her need to control.

Edited May 25, 2023 by Wiseman2

May 25, 2023

3 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

I could tell she was angry at me from the facetime call we had and the responses she gave me. I didn’t want to break up but I was offering it to her if she wasn’t happy as I didn’t want her to stay in something that wasn’t making her happy.

She doesn't need your permission to break up....I'm sure she's more than capable of figuring this out on her own. So when you offer it, it sounds like you're wanting the breakup but putting her in the position of pulling the trigger. Which she did. It would have been far better for you to ask if there was anything you can do to make things better.

Regarding her thinking your body would be sexier if you did that exercise, I've seen many posters here ask how to help a partner who's a bit overweight/soft. The answers are frequently "Suggest exercising together! Tell her/him how fun it will be!" As it happens, I truly agree with you that this is really transparent. I believe a person should be in charge of their own health/weight management, but perhaps she's one who thinks that this kind of suggestion is great way to try and go about it. She was trying to help, albeit in a clumsy way.

Edited May 25, 2023 by basil67

May 25, 2023

3 hours ago, glows said:

Yeah, I hear you. Maybe you both made mistakes. It doesn’t make either of you horrible people but there is room for improvement. Hindsight is always 20/20.

She did mention buying a home and I got the sense earlier there may be a timeline here - house, marriage, kids etc. Did either of you agree on anything future related? It seemed odd to me that she was looking to buy a place with you considering the break ups and issues.

Sorry for essay:

She was pushy, but that was from her enthusiasm. I wish I was more open minded and this would’ve been avoided.

Yeah, we always had the idea of buying a house and kids early on. Then when her counselling started two months ago and her emotions were at a high she told me she didn’t want a mortgage or kids.

Fast forward to this last weekend, we spent the night at her parents. During the week she brought up with me (by herself) she was going to save for next two years for a deposit. This weekend gone when we were at hers she changed her mind and said she’s going to save everything so we can get our new house from next April. She talked me through the idea passionately and loaded up the app to check what houses were going close to her mum’s house. I admired the passion and did the same.

This was literally part of her message to me on Sunday “Any who, Greece is going to be our last holiday for a while as we’re buying a home next year so YouTube everything to do in Sithonia and let get excited for it love you baby xxx”

When it comes to kids, she’s now fully against the idea. Her reason is justified, she doesn’t want to show love for a child again and have them taken away out of this world like last time. She seems to insist when we broke up that I want kids and she says she knows I do. I’ve told her plenty of times whilst I’m open to the idea, my love for her is stronger than my need for children.

I’d fully understand if she had doubts the last few weeks, but her actions this weekend suggested otherwise. She kept making moves on me too, sex, kissing, etc. Confusing for me but given her circumstances with depression and grieving she is emotionally all over the place these last few months

Edited May 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

May 25, 2023

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This relationship was not going to last, OP.

It's too dysfunctional and there's too much damage done now. It's hard, but this is better left in the past.

Hate to say it but I agree in some ways, if we were to continue like we are. If I was to be more open minded and not overthink all the time it would improve us a lot (noticed an improvement by not reacting to her reactions these last two months). We’ve had such good moments which make up the shortcomings, but there are shortcomings that hadn’t been addressed. I believe given the chance I’d want to work on them, but for her I think she’s in the same mindset as you.

Edited May 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

May 25, 2023

2 hours ago, ccas93 said:

I must ask, are you out of shape physically?

either way, this woman sounds pretty phony... in those "nice" texts you shared, she sounded way over the top and cheesy. Which I've found is always a red flag for a cold hidden agenda. that appears to be the case here.

I’m 6”3 and 95KG, I hold my weight well but I have some extra body fat around the stomach with a bit up in the chest. When dressed I look slim, if I look at myself without a shirt I do see a stomach that bulges a little bit. I mentioned this to her and she wanted me to show her, she said it wasn’t even that bad but wanted me to work towards abs

May 25, 2023

51 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. This is not as simple as a fitness plan. She has major issues that cycle and resurface.

On/off relationships are fraught with unresolved incompatibilities and conflicts combined with an unhealthy attachment and lack of other opportunities.

Step back. Reflect on the turbulence of her mood extremes and instability. She clearly handles stress poorly and seems quite controlling.

Free yourself from this cycle. It seems more like you dodged a bullet. Stop trying to jump through her hoops and "do better". That only feeds her need to control.

I’ve always appreciated your advice over the years.

My friends have said the same thing. Unfortunately I don’t want to let those good moments go because I know there’s something good there but that trauma changes things and will always create a cloud. I know those good moments will happen down the line with someone else.

She changes her mind a lot, especially with plans. Most of the time she never wants to go out now. That can cause us to feel like we’re not dating or doing the same thing over. As much as I like relaxing and cuddling with a movie, I do want someone who goes out on adventures with me. She slowly stopped being that person.

May 25, 2023

44 minutes ago, basil67 said:

She doesn't need your permission to break up....I'm sure she's more than capable of figuring this out on her own. So when you offer it, it sounds like you're wanting the breakup but putting her in the position of pulling the trigger. Which she did. It would have been far better for you to ask if there was anything you can do to make things better.

Regarding her thinking your body would be sexier if you did that exercise, I've seen many posters here ask how to help a partner who's a bit overweight/soft. The answers are frequently "Suggest exercising together! Tell her/him how fun it will be!" As it happens, I truly agree with you that this is really transparent. I believe a person should be in charge of their own health/weight management, but perhaps she's one who thinks that this kind of suggestion is great way to try and go about it. She was trying to help, albeit in a clumsy way.

I could’ve worded it differently. It’s a bit like when a couple have an argument and one says “well if you don’t like it so much why don’t you break up with me instead?” And the other agrees to get one over them. Maybe she saw it like that.

As you say, I should’ve asked why she was feeling as she was and what I could’ve done to make things better. I still think I would’ve got the same break up response though due to how unhappy she said she was. I asked about changing things on the phone and she said her decision was made up and she wasn’t changing it. She’s done it before and missed me in time.

Usually people feel differently as time goes on, but if anything was to happen again I’d rather it be in future when we’ve worked on ourselves and are more fresh. By then I may have met someone else but i’m in no rush to. Focusing on buying a house even if it’s just myself, a job promotion, fitness and a solo holiday

May 25, 2023

Even if you did watch the video, it's unlikely to solve the bigger problem.

I can't say for certain if she wanted to get fit together as a way to bond, or if it was her emphasis on your body and taking a more dominant role in the bedroom, as an attempt to regain her attraction. It is not uncommon for people to try to change certain aspects of themselves or their partners if they feel unhappy.

Health and fitness are important, but unless your body is so unfit that you cannot function properly, no one should be telling you what to do with your body.

It is likely that you stopped exhibiting behaviors that made your girlfriend attracted to you in the first place; so, your current statement of "my girlfriend is being short with me" came about and then the breakup. Perhaps the loss of her son made her so distressed and she in turn held you accountable in some way for not doing as much for her in the way of happiness and grief. This understandable yet emotional sentiment likely built up within her, resulting in the current state of your relationship and her decision to break things off.

Were you planning to financially contribute to the trip to Greece and the house deposit in any way?

Experiencing the loss of a child is one of the most devastating experiences a person can endure. It's not uncommon for relationships to fall apart. Grief can consume the relationship, and the couple may not have the energy to continue. I think your girlfriend tried to placate certain things through the health and fitness video, trying to find something to bring you both together, as a couple. Trying to find a way to connect can be challenging, and it's understandable that your girlfriend was looking for a way to bring you both together, even if it was through something as simple as a health and fitness video.

You cannot take responsibility for her grief and how it has affected your relationship. It is understandable that she is grieving and in her view needed more support from you, but the loss of a child is an unfathomable event and it is likely that she felt overwhelmed.

It's not your fault. It's just the way things worked out.

May 25, 2023

58 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Even if you did watch the video, it's unlikely to solve the bigger problem.

I can't say for certain if she wanted to get fit together as a way to bond, or if it was her emphasis on your body and taking a more dominant role in the bedroom, as an attempt to regain her attraction. It is not uncommon for people to try to change certain aspects of themselves or their partners if they feel unhappy.

Health and fitness are important, but unless your body is so unfit that you cannot function properly, no one should be telling you what to do with your body.

It is likely that you stopped exhibiting behaviors that made your girlfriend attracted to you in the first place; so, your current statement of "my girlfriend is being short with me" came about and then the breakup. Perhaps the loss of her son made her so distressed and she in turn held you accountable in some way for not doing as much for her in the way of happiness and grief. This understandable yet emotional sentiment likely built up within her, resulting in the current state of your relationship and her decision to break things off.

Were you planning to financially contribute to the trip to Greece and the house deposit in any way?

Experiencing the loss of a child is one of the most devastating experiences a person can endure. It's not uncommon for relationships to fall apart. Grief can consume the relationship, and the couple may not have the energy to continue. I think your girlfriend tried to placate certain things through the health and fitness video, trying to find something to bring you both together, as a couple. Trying to find a way to connect can be challenging, and it's understandable that your girlfriend was looking for a way to bring you both together, even if it was through something as simple as a health and fitness video.

You cannot take responsibility for her grief and how it has affected your relationship. It is understandable that she is grieving and in her view needed more support from you, but the loss of a child is an unfathomable event and it is likely that she felt overwhelmed.

It's not your fault. It's just the way things worked out.

In terms of body I’m 6ft3 and 95kg with some belly fat and on my chest. Rest of me is slim, you’d never know under clothes. This all came from her wanting to get fit as she didn’t like how fat she got around the waist over winter, but wanted me to do similar.

She did say to me on Friday when we were driving that i’m the complete package, but need to be more dominant in bedroom and watch porn for ideas. Whether this is the true reason for the break up, could possibly be. Last time I was more dominant but then I couldn’t keep it up, then she was on her period the weekend after. When we were at hers she didn’t give me much time for foreplay and instead wanted PIV quite quickly although we heard one of her parents come upstairs which ruined end of it a bit.

I agree, the negative aspects of our facetime call wouldn’t have helped her mental health and I became less of who I was at the start, which is a shame. At the weekend I wasn’t like that.

Yeah we were about to make our first payment together start of June, but she told me not to worry and she’ll pay off the cancellation. For the house, she knows I have £10,000 saved and ready to go but she’s starting from scratch.

She was enthusiastic about the video and fitness but she said to me this and meal prepping wasn’t intended to be a bonding experience.

Totally understand where you’re coming from on the grief. It must be so difficult and I’ve seen her snap and lose temper. I just wasn’t emotionally strong enough to handle it. After the first break up, since she got counselling things improved a lot and she’s more happier. I dealt with things better, but my strong opinions and not backing down from them got in the way. She’d say I’d question and overthink everything, hence why she suggest I get counselling etc

May 25, 2023

Maybe the video she sent you wasn't actually a fitness video.

Maybe she did something special for you, hence why she was so eager for you to watch it.

May 25, 2023

13 minutes ago, JTSW said:

Maybe the video she sent you wasn't actually a fitness video.

Maybe she did something special for you, hence why she was so eager for you to watch it.

It was definitely a fitness video. The link in whatsapp came up with a personal trainers website and it was a 30 minute video but I see what you’re thinking. In hindsight, she sounded very excited snd enthusiastic about the idea and I questioned everything like doing my own routine, etc. Almost felt like I shot down her enthusiasm for it.

She says it has nothing to do with that moment, but it seemed like it was the turning point as on Sunday she was all over me planning future, etc. Since that moment on Monday, she did a 180

Edited May 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

May 25, 2023

33 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

In terms of body I’m 6ft3 and 95kg with some belly fat and on my chest. Rest of me is slim, you’d never know under clothes. This all came from her wanting to get fit as she didn’t like how fat she got around the waist over winter, but wanted me to do similar.

She did say to me on Friday when we were driving that i’m the complete package, but need to be more dominant in bedroom and watch porn for ideas. Whether this is the true reason for the break up, could possibly be. Last time I was more dominant but then I couldn’t keep it up, then she was on her period the weekend after. When we were at hers she didn’t give me much time for foreplay and instead wanted PIV quite quickly although we heard one of her parents come upstairs which ruined end of it a bit.

I agree, the negative aspects of our facetime call wouldn’t have helped her mental health and I became less of who I was at the start, which is a shame. At the weekend I wasn’t like that.

Yeah we were about to make our first payment together start of June, but she told me not to worry and she’ll pay off the cancellation. For the house, she knows I have £10,000 saved and ready to go but she’s starting from scratch.

She was enthusiastic about the video and fitness but she said to me this and meal prepping wasn’t intended to be a bonding experience.

Totally understand where you’re coming from on the grief. It must be so difficult and I’ve seen her snap and lose temper. I just wasn’t emotionally strong enough to handle it. After the first break up, since she got counselling things improved a lot and she’s more happier. I dealt with things better, but my strong opinions and not backing down from them got in the way. She’d say I’d question and overthink everything, hence why she suggest I get counselling etc

The most alarming comment is that you said "I became less of who I was at the start" in your relationship. No, you never want to reach that point. When you feel like you have changed significantly or that your partner has taken away your sense of identity, then that is a sign that something is seriously wrong.

If you both built a relationship on eating, hanging out and watching tv together then the new healthy lifestyle might not be what you signed up for. She needed to be prepared for that (not suggesting this is how your relationship started, I'm just using it as an example). If you built your relationship around that and she recently stopped eating as much, and you joined her for support, you really had to think about if this is the relationship you signed up for. It might not be that important for you. It’s okay if priorities change in a relationship. You just need to both be honest with each other and let each other be if you want different things.

You're slightly overweight by just a few pounds.

If she expressed concern about your health and worries about possible cardiovascular issues and diabetes due to your current weight, I understand her concern. However, if she ended the relationship due to your reluctance to begin a fitness journey together due to your body image, this is detrimental emotional stress to your self-esteem.

But it sounds like she is unhappy with herself, her weight, etc., and unfortunately she is taking her own insecurities out on you and that is not a healthy way to handle her feelings, and it is not fair for her to expect you to conform to a certain body type. Same with her desire for more dominance in the bedroom. She seems to be looking for more confidence and security in the relationship.

Again, these are just small slices of the pie.

There were other underlying issues in the relationship that were simply masked by this fitness issue that had been brewing long before.

May 25, 2023

29 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

The most alarming comment is that you said "I became less of who I was at the start" in your relationship. No, you never want to reach that point. When you feel like you have changed significantly or that your partner has taken away your sense of identity, then that is a sign that something is seriously wrong.

If you both built a relationship on eating, hanging out and watching tv together then the new healthy lifestyle might not be what you signed up for. She needed to be prepared for that (not suggesting this is how your relationship started, I'm just using it as an example). If you built your relationship around that and she recently stopped eating as much, and you joined her for support, you really had to think about if this is the relationship you signed up for. It might not be that important for you. It’s okay if priorities change in a relationship. You just need to both be honest with each other and let each other be if you want different things.

You're slightly overweight by just a few pounds.

If she expressed concern about your health and worries about possible cardiovascular issues and diabetes due to your current weight, I understand her concern. However, if she ended the relationship due to your reluctance to begin a fitness journey together due to your body image, this is detrimental emotional stress to your self-esteem.

But it sounds like she is unhappy with herself, her weight, etc., and unfortunately she is taking her own insecurities out on you and that is not a healthy way to handle her feelings, and it is not fair for her to expect you to conform to a certain body type. Same with her desire for more dominance in the bedroom. She seems to be looking for more confidence and security in the relationship.

Again, these are just small slices of the pie.

There were other underlying issues in the relationship that were simply masked by this fitness issue that had been brewing long before.

Completely agree. The fitness thing was probably the final straw to give her an excuse and break it off. She told me she wanted to be one of those fitness couples. I was happy to do this with her but I had to wait until I got paid so I could properly sign up to the gym and meal prep. It also felt like she mocked me for using the ring fit for nintendo switch too.

At the start she was very kind but as we got closer to her son’s anniversary it got more difficult and I became more reactionary than being proaction. I found it hard to be my fun self due to the mood swings and she never wanted to go out, always wanted to stay home and do something.

I do think the sex life for her may have decided things. She wanted more dominance and I may started to have showed it but we’d only have sex once every 1-2 weeks due to living separately. She told me she wanted a sex life but her expectations seemed unrealistic because she was basing it on all these porn videos she’s seen. This is why I think she said the spark has gone, probably less sex than she’d want which resulted in her falling out of love.

I mean on Sunday when she grabbed me and we kissed, we kissed all the way into the bedroom and fell on the bed kissing and laughing then she got up and said the pizza is going to burn. Like come on, trying to up the frequency here!

Edited May 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

May 25, 2023

4 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

Sorry for essay:

She was pushy, but that was from her enthusiasm. I wish I was more open minded and this would’ve been avoided.

Yeah, we always had the idea of buying a house and kids early on. Then when her counselling started two months ago and her emotions were at a high she told me she didn’t want a mortgage or kids.

Fast forward to this last weekend, we spent the night at her parents. During the week she brought up with me (by herself) she was going to save for next two years for a deposit. This weekend gone when we were at hers she changed her mind and said she’s going to save everything so we can get our new house from next April. She talked me through the idea passionately and loaded up the app to check what houses were going close to her mum’s house. I admired the passion and did the same.

This was literally part of her message to me on Sunday “Any who, Greece is going to be our last holiday for a while as we’re buying a home next year so YouTube everything to do in Sithonia and let get excited for it love you baby xxx”

When it comes to kids, she’s now fully against the idea. Her reason is justified, she doesn’t want to show love for a child again and have them taken away out of this world like last time. She seems to insist when we broke up that I want kids and she says she knows I do. I’ve told her plenty of times whilst I’m open to the idea, my love for her is stronger than my need for children.

I’d fully understand if she had doubts the last few weeks, but her actions this weekend suggested otherwise. She kept making moves on me too, sex, kissing, etc. Confusing for me but given her circumstances with depression and grieving she is emotionally all over the place these last few months

The overall understanding I’m getting is she’s not the one for you and is dealing with other issues.

You do speak about love for her but I’m puzzled what it is you might have actually loved about this person? Are you attracted to high highs and low lows in relationships? Is it because she seemed wounded in some way due to her child passing or felt a need to help her through that? What did you fall in love with about her?

Emotions don’t tend to go away on their own. If you keep telling yourself you love her without thinking through the way she’s treated you or the incompatibilities, you’re not ever giving yourself a chance to change that thinking “I love her”. Rethink this critically and see her objectively as a person you met and what the relationship was versus what you wanted it to be.

May 25, 2023

47 minutes ago, glows said:

The overall understanding I’m getting is she’s not the one for you and is dealing with other issues.

You do speak about love for her but I’m puzzled what it is you might have actually loved about this person? Are you attracted to high highs and low lows in relationships? Is it because she seemed wounded in some way due to her child passing or felt a need to help her through that? What did you fall in love with about her?

Emotions don’t tend to go away on their own. If you keep telling yourself you love her without thinking through the way she’s treated you or the incompatibilities, you’re not ever giving yourself a chance to change that thinking “I love her”. Rethink this critically and see her objectively as a person you met and what the relationship was versus what you wanted it to be.

There were good moments we’d laugh and have fun together. It just felt natural and the first proper relationship where I felt comfortable with someone. There’s definitely a vision of what I wanted the relationship to be and it didn’t match up to it due to the issues she was going through.

May 25, 2023

3 minutes ago, ramboparrot said:

There were good moments we’d laugh and have fun together. It just felt natural and the first proper relationship where I felt comfortable with someone. There’s definitely a vision of what I wanted the relationship to be and it didn’t match up to it due to the issues she was going through.

Ok I’d mull on this for a bit and make no moves. Just let it marinate and think about this for awhile. You’re aware she’s going through issues and that’s affected your ability to be yourself over time with this person.

There will be other partners if you give yourself time to process and move forward. You may be missing that comfort with someone who knows you. Most people feel that and know what it’s like. It doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship is in the cards or that person is a match or their circumstances add to your life. She told you she’s not happy but it’s also likely that unhappiness comes from within and isn’t something you can change.

May 25, 2023

Update

She replied again this morning to confirm what she said yesterday (no idea why, possibly to ensure that I knew the relationship was done) as we had a phone call yesterday about it.

After much thought I’ve decided to agree to being friends with her after she said we’re better as just friends. Part of liking her was her wanting to travel and have fun, but she has a lot of issues that got in the way of having a healthy relationship. I care about her so so much that I’d happily take friendship over walking out of each other’s lives. She means that much to me. She always said she wanted to be single but wanted to give us a chance. We both always talked about travelling so why not make use of a friendship like this and go travelling? Beats going solo and all my other friends are to busy to do that.

Here was her message:

“

Look, I’ve explained it over and over again. I’m sure one day you will get your head round it and move on. I know you don’t want to but tuff s***, life’s not always fair. I don’t want to be with you anymore, there no spark left for me and we want completely different things. You wants kids, mortgage, marriage, the perfect, serious life and that’s ok, I think you actually need that to feel complete in life and I hope you find it.

I want to travel, have fun and just go it whatever comes my way. Yeah you do overthink everything and need a set in stone, mapped out plan for everything. I’m tired and drained by it all. I just want to be happy on my own. I know for a fact I am happier and a completely different person on my own and I’m ok with that. I told my mum last night that’s it’s over and even she said your a nice guy but it’s been along time coming so I you don’t see that we’re better off as just friends is baffling and clear to see you seriously need to settle down and start a family with someone else xxx”

Here was mine:

”

I want a mortgage because it’s better than paying rent, but I don’t care about having kids.. I don’t want to settle down and have a family, that’s boring! I’d rather have the money I’d rather travel and see the world and go with the flow. So yeah, I know what I want. I want to go off and enjoy adventures with you no matter the status we put on this. That’s if you can cope with my excessive talking? Spoiler, you can’t.

If you’re happier on your own than being in a relationship with me then fair enough. I want you to be happy, I’d always demand you put yourself first. I have made it difficult and regretfully caused issues so I take ownership of that. You’ve been a massive part of my life and I’m not losing that... do you want to be friends then? Because I still want you in my life in some way. I [ ] care about you so much no matter what we label it xxx”

Edited May 25, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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May 25, 2023

So sorry for your loss....bending over backwards, trying to plead with her is not making her come back. After 8 months thank your lucky starts you didn't pay for her ticket or invest in anything else with her. She turned out to be a wing nut, indecisive, rude, playing games, no consideration for your feelings, immature, non communicative, stonewalling, manipulating.....you sure took a beating there, and you didn't deserve any of that. In time you will look back at this and tell yourself "what the was I thinking?" I know you are hurting, but you deserve so much better.

May 25, 2023

2 hours ago, ramboparrot said:

, I’ve explained it over and over again. I’m sure one day you will get your head round it and move on. I know you don’t want to but tuff s***, life’s not always fair. I don’t want to be with you anymore, there no spark left for me and we want completely different things.

Please delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. She's unstable and after that abusive tirade you need to walk away for good.

Don't explain yourself or your priorities to her. You'll feel a lot better when you are free to meet stable women who want what you want.

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Girlfriend (f31) being short with me (m31) and removed our photos from instagram. Was it down to me or is there something else?

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