DrasticMeasurements Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 Just like with the DPS if you: Stop ahead of the stop sign or fail to signal while turning, the DPS clerk subtracts points. Girls are the same, if I tell a joke that's not funny or stutter (and I, um and I know someone) they take out points for that. Some girls auto-fail you for not being funny like collision during parallel parking. For guys who are physically unattractive, 90 is the pass mark meaning 1 or 2 errors and she's already lost interest. I have Asperger's syndrome and, yes, it doesn't define me or makes 100% of me. But I make social mistakes when I'm being myself and not thinking. I'm like the person who keeps failing the driving test because women subtract points for every social error. I'm trying to not be nervous but I'm not naturally smooth or gifted.
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 In a case such as Yours, Perhaps a "Learner's Permit" is best to get started with before you get behind the wheel to drive confidentially with another passenger. Yield First, Then proceed with caution. Someone special who rides up in front with you will feel safe and secure with you(As a potential partner)and they will not be this "Front Seat Driver." She is out there somewhere. Patience is a Virtue.
smackie9 Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 With teenagers yes very possibly because they don't know any better because they are always thinking of themselves...it's normal. As adults, if they like you enough, they will accept your flaws, be sweet and accepting. That's how that works. So if you feel you are not scoring good points just out of not being able to say the right thing, they were never into you in the first place. So in reality, even if you were smooth, probably would have gotten anywhere with them anyways. A lot of famous people are aspies and have successful relationships because they found the right person to accept them as they are. It may take a little longer but you will get there.
Author DrasticMeasurements Posted May 23, 2023 Author Posted May 23, 2023 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: With teenagers yes very possibly because they don't know any better because they are always thinking of themselves...it's normal. As adults, if they like you enough, they will accept your flaws, be sweet and accepting. That's how that works. So if you feel you are not scoring good points just out of not being able to say the right thing, they were never into you in the first place. So in reality, even if you were smooth, probably would have gotten anywhere with them anyways. A lot of famous people are aspies and have successful relationships because they found the right person to accept them as they are. It may take a little longer but you will get there. I’m 29 and never been on a real date. I feel that adults are more unforgiving because they expect more experience and a six figure job with lots of hobbies. I only make $45K year, plus I still make social errors that turn people off no matter how hard I try. I have Asperger’s and was diagnosed at an early age.
Wiseman2 Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 2 hours ago, DrasticMeasurements said: Some girls auto-fail you for not being funny like collision during parallel parking. Dating and driving tests both may provoke some anxiety. But women out there aren't holding a clipboard looking for errors. Either they enjoy talking to you or not, but that's ok. You just move on. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 And frankly, goofy moments that you think "failed" might not have failed in their eyes. I don't trust your self-critique. Lots of people are awkward on initial dates. And to be honest, you really don't know what element of yourself hits what chord in someone else. Lots of people get a kick out of "OMG, he makes these corny jokes." Or "he was nervous, but he seemed good. I liked him."
Author DrasticMeasurements Posted May 23, 2023 Author Posted May 23, 2023 2 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: And frankly, goofy moments that you think "failed" might not have failed in their eyes. I don't trust your self-critique. Lots of people are awkward on initial dates. And to be honest, you really don't know what element of yourself hits what chord in someone else. Lots of people get a kick out of "OMG, he makes these corny jokes." Or "he was nervous, but he seemed good. I liked him." That's not true at all. I can't imagine any frat guys or popular people who stutter or goof in conversation. I'll never be articulate as they are.
glows Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 Go for the non-status quo. People are usually afraid of being outside the norm or too easily influenced by what others think. Remember that the people you’re observing don’t live in a vacuum and are often swayed by other influences - what their friends think, what their family thinks and so on. It’s not only about getting a date or getting someone to like you for who you are. Make sure you’re compatible overall and the other person isn’t superficial.
Lotsgoingon Posted May 23, 2023 Posted May 23, 2023 54 minutes ago, DrasticMeasurements said: That's not true at all. I can't imagine any frat guys or popular people who stutter or goof in conversation. I'll never be articulate as they are. Well there are stereotypes of frat guys and there are real frat guys. I happen to know a lot of frat guys who are not nearly as smoothly social as the stereotype. And I know lots of frat women who don't fit the stereotype. I'm a very confident public speaker (it's part of my job) and I have said many goofy things on first dates. Many. And still some people remained interested. That's how I learned that the goofy stuff wasn't fatal. I am not saying you can't get better socially. I'm simply saying you are over-rating how smooth and debonair people are on first dates. Also, since you are so critical of yourself, are you approaching women who would seem to be more open about what you see as your weaknesses. There are lots of shy and goofy girls out there who are wonderful and would be great partners if given the chance. Make sure you're not overlooking them. 1
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