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Got stood up today

Marka

By Marka
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Marka Established Member

Marka

Posted
Posted

This is just sad. Whats wrong with people. Matched with a guy on an app a week ago, chatted on app and then on whatsap. He asked me out for coffee date and we agreed for today afternoon. He consistently kept the contact. He texted me yesterday how excited he is about meet, and i replied enthusiastically that I am the same. Also texted me today in the morning to confirm the date. SO I arrived at the place, he wasn't there, I texted him on whatsapp, message undelivered. I thought that he is still on his way in the underground, got myself coffee. After like 15 mins I started to wonder. Checked and he unmatched me on app and blocked on whatsapp. I was shocked. What is wrong with a person if he is doing such thing.... Anyway I finished my coffee then went checked some shops, went for a walk in city park and had nice dinner. Still enjoyed my afternoon and evening. Just extremely shocked at this guy behavior 

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semble Established Member

semble

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good to hear you still had a nice time on your own after being stood up but I dont get the relevance,

ccas93 Established Member

ccas93

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this has happened to me a few times as well. in my experience if you do get to confront them or call them out, they get defensive and don't think they are wrong for doing so. I think it comes from a place of being extremely (and blissfully) self centered, misguided and self righteous. while I am not a perfect person, I don't quite understand the psychology of this sort of behavior. 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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1 hour ago, Marka said:

. I thought that he is still on his way in the underground, got myself coffee. After like 15 mins I started to wonder. Checked and he unmatched me on app and blocked on whatsapp.

Sorry this happened. It seems like you dodged a bullet, if he blew the date off. Perhaps he's married or dating too many others. You did everything right confirming and trying to follow up.

Alvi Established Member

Alvi

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OP, sorry this happened to you. Welcome to the world of the internet dating, lol. I've been stood up quite a few times myself. I had guys cancelling on me the very last minute before our supposed date.  It's like guys were telling me that I am beautiful, wonderful, great and they cannot wait to meet me. They took all the initiative to arrange a date. which makes it even more perplexing. Why, who knows. One fessed up later that he was living with his GF. Two others as I found out later were married.  Perhaps your guy is not single either. You never know. For all you know, he could be a scammer or a catfish or a teenager looking for some entertainment. Or perhaps he doesn't look like his pics or lied about everything. 


Anyway, he did you a favor. Please block him and don't ever answer him if he comes back and tries to get in touch with you again.

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Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

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That was such a great thing for you to do for yourself and to enjoy the moment.

I had someone not show up and then he sent me a prickly message and complained that I didn't show up. I was like "Bye Felicia!"

It's a tough thing to go through, but try not to worry too much. He had a change of heart for any number of reasons, and it is not your fault.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Damn I was hoping your story would have ended with, you met some other guy while shopping and ended up having dinner with him :) Don't let this snapper head get you down. The dude is a dud, and I feel sorry for any woman that ends up with him. Such a loser.

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Ageless Wisdom23 Established Member

Ageless Wisdom23

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It hurts to be ghosted.  Especially by an online stranger whom you looked forward to having a cup of coffee with.  Move on from this experience that when it comes to an Online hopeful Meet Up, It can sway either way.  Just be glad it was not one of those Ones where you never get the chance to ever take a sip of coffee again.🤕

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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No shame. That happens. He might have already been partnered (perhaps married) and good sense tugged at him at the last moment. Sorry you paid the price. But this happens in online dating--and it happens in IRL dating. No shame. No need to make broad generalizations about how bad and unreliable people are. This is just one person. 

Tip: reduce the texting and set up a quick meeting. All that texting convinced you that you were dealing with someone more trustworthy than they were. Texting is tailor-made for acting and b.s.-ing. People are good at talking a good game. 

But no shame. Schedule another date. Ideally while you were at the coffee shop waiting, you want to get your phone out and literally connect with a new person, send someone a message or respond to someone's profile.  Do that before you get up! 

Yes, having this happen can be jarring, but remember, you don't know this person and frankly, they were going to act like this at some point. So you're actually quite lucky they didn't show up. Because clearly they can talk a smooth game up to the last minute. So had this person showed up (and people like this tend to be charming) you would be much further along in his con game. 

No shame. You didn't do anything wrong. Could be he wanted to game you and your texts actually indicated you had some good backbone so he decided to sell his his fraud to someone else more gullible. There are people in online dating who are contacting so many other people that they literally have trouble keeping up with what they said to which person and so on. 

Seriously, reach out to a new person by end of today!  This wasn't a prom date that stood you up. This was an intro greet. Hours of texting doesn't change that. 

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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So sorry this happened, but show me one who it hasn't happened to.  Even before there was an internet and dating apps this happened to a lot of people in some way, shape or form.  It's what it is.  Move on. 

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Marka Established Member

Marka

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18 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

, but show me one who it hasn't happened to. 

oh, i know a lot of people who have never been stood up despite being in OLD for years. Among my friends  this is the first story

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Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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Don't use your friends' experience as a reason to go all down on online dating.

Get back out there. Yes, I know plenty of people who were stood up on dates. Plenty. 

glows Established Member

glows

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I’m glad you checked out the stores. Just because people do this doesn’t make it all right. Take a breather if needed.

I’m curious what caught your eye about his profile. Was there anything worth noting or that might have seemed peculiar in retrospect? Did either of you speak on the phone or video chat prior or was it only texting?

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Marka Established Member

Marka

Posted
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1 hour ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Don't use your friends' experience as a reason to go all down on online dating.

Get back out there. Yes, I know plenty of people who were stood up on dates. Plenty. 

I am not gonna discontinue OLD because of this incident. This person is not even worth thinking about not to say preventing me from finding my guy.

Today I received a rose on Hinge from a guy with a very nice profile. Will see how it goes

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Marka Established Member

Marka

Posted
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23 minutes ago, glows said:

Was there anything worth noting or that might have seemed peculiar in retrospect? Did either of you speak on the phone or video chat prior or was it only texting?

no, nothing unusual, standard profile with standard pics. And no just texting but this is common for the city I live 

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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Just now, Marka said:

Today I received a rose on Hinge from a guy with a very nice profile. Will see how it goes

That's it, just keep moving forward. Think of it as dodged a bullet. Good luck.

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Ageless Wisdom23 Established Member

Ageless Wisdom23

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Posted (edited)

It happens a lot on these daring apps.  One never knows if that person might or might not show up and sadly leave the other hanging and feeling humiliated.  However, If he decides to come back with an explanation, Don't trust him.  He may have a girlfriend already or just had had a change of heart in meeting you.  He could have told you so you knew he had cancelled for whatever reason.  But he chose to ghost you instead.

Edited by Ageless Wisdom23
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