Who here hasn't ever heard from their ex again?

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

Nope, but I can relate to them. 

It seemed like a similar thread, so I thought I'd ask. I appreciate your clarification.

Your ex-boyfriend has been very mean to you.

When we are angry, sometimes we utter words we shouldn't utter when we are angry. I've done this. But at some point when tempers subside, the very least you can do is admit such an action is not OK. Express regret and remorse.

The case of someone who is calm and believes that telling someone to die is OK like your ex-boyfriend has, I would seriously question why you still want to be with them in the first place. It's not okay to wish death on someone. It is really bad to wish death on those you once cared about, and I think you know this.

Considering that you're already not feeling like yourself and not feeling good about yourself, you may even agree with the things he says to you and about you in light of the way you feel about yourself at the moment.

Someone who points out your flaws in a loving way, encouraging you to grow, is much different from one who shows contempt for you.

The sooner you free yourself, the closer you will be to finding the right relationship for you and the sooner you will be able to live the life you want.

Leave this person in the past, where he belongs.

[JTSW]

I thought this was the same poster as it sounded very familiar.

[ShyViolet]

10 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

I see a lot of videos on tiktok saying they come back. 

Maybe you shouldn't be getting life advice from silly videos you see on tiktok.

[Idk1029]

10 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Maybe you shouldn't be getting life advice from silly videos you see on tiktok.

They claim to manifest an ex.

[NuevoYorko]

The real question you might want to be pondering is why you would want a person who treated you this way anywhere around your life.   Even if you still have "feelings" for them,  you are capable of recognizing that it's better for this guy to be out of your life in every way, forever.   That would be healthy.

[Ageless Wisdom23]

Last year, I broke it off with a LDR I was having for nearly 4 years.  The relationship began with a small Red Flag and it sort of dominoes into a nonstop Bigger Red Flag for me.  Although we had this fairyland relationship on another more pleasant and loving End, When I moved to another part of my State, It was then I began to realize it was best to break it off.  I admit I didn't handle it correctly and Instead, Began venting all over FB(I have 5000 "Friends" on there)and time and time Again, He would mute/block me and finally Now, I cannot see all of his page but he continues to leave my pix on there.  He says no friends on there but only on his Game he plays with others whom he Invites to get points to win prizes.(Another reason I left).  For Months on End, I vented so much that I (Sent More Hostile emails there as well)that it has gotten to the point as of Now, He only keeps me alone on G-mail Chat, But has Blocked me many times because I got/get on his last nerve) as a last resort to get me back.  He is a bitter pill over everything.  As for You, Your own Ex has moved on and did it quickly.  But you couldn't accept it.   Please, Focus on you now and find someone who is more deserving to love you.  You appear to have a heart of gold.  Someone is out there just for you.  Chalk it up as just an Experience.  You may have many like this one or even better until you find Mr. Right.

Edited May 22, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23
Correcting my spelling.

[Calmandfocused]

Trauma bonding is a very real thing. 
 

As is addiction. 
 

As is Low Self Esteem. 
 

Your value and self worth is currently dependant on how much this ex wants you back. 
 

Ultimately, you’re still stuck in the sickness of toxicity. You’re not in a good place. 
 

You need a long drying out period. No contact with this ex. No messing with men at all. Concentrate on getting yourself well, finding yourself again and learning healthy relationship patterns. 
 

Finally, your goal should not be for your ex to want you back/ contact you. Your goal should be to rid him from your life and not give a toss! 

[smackie9]

I was the dumper 99% of the time so ya they would try to get me back but I wouldn't take them back. I dumped them for a reason. I only took one ex back after he dumped me....that was the biggest mistake I ever made. Lesson learned, it ended for a reason. It's always better to move on.

[Versacehottie]

Idk it seems like you might be doing the same thing here that you do in real life, when blocked in one way, you try to find another way in

In my experience, yes exes typically come back for me/my friends. Um none of us has ever done anything where it's of a stalking nature or been blocked. If you show that you can manage your emotions and regulate yourself, it's usually the type of person that someone wants to be around or a second chance with. If not, and they block you, they usually/almost always mean that. 

You should be concentrating on how to get over this--especially if you are in therapy..otherwise I would say, it's not really working and maybe you need to explore other therapists, etc.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

They claim to manifest an ex.

So?

I knew a lady on FB who claimed to communicate privately with the spirit of Pocahontas. That didn't make it true. People make things up all the time. You need to employ some critical thinking skills so you don't fall for malarkey social media posts. 

[mortensorchid]

In all my years of dating, with two exceptions, no one has ever come back.  One is the only former boyfriend I stayed friends with, he and I are still good friends and I enjoy many holiday dinners and parties with him and his 3rd wife still.  The other was a complete psycho - seemed to hate me one minute then felt guilty the next.  That saying is reserved for dogs and cats who miss their masters. 

[Alpacalia]

Where you get your advice from matters less than knowing what you need and doing what is best for you. 

The bottom line is he treats you like dirt. No matter how much advice you get, you have to make the final decision about how to handle the situation. If he is treating you poorly, then it's best for you to make the decision to leave the relationship.

I didn't answer the question initially because it's irrelevant to your own path but every single one of my exes reached out to me whether they were in a relationship or not. I broke up with all of them. I wanted to be happy and I knew they didn't make me feel that way. With the exception of one relationship, the rest were good relationships, just not compatible. We had to come to terms with the fact that no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't make them fit. I made the decision at the time to be alone and focus on myself. It was the best choice I could have made. And I'm still friendly with two of my exes and their family. 

Edited May 23, 2023 by Alpacalia