Who here hasn't ever heard from their ex again?

[Idk1029]

So many people say “they always come back” especially when you don’t care about them. However, I don’t completely agree as each situation is different. So far my two previous ex’s came back. But it was too late, I had already moved on. I think this ex won’t come back, we never had a loving relationship. He told me many times I was the worst girl he’s ever dated. Our relationship was very complicated. However, a month ago he decided to cut me off and his last words to me was “You will miss me, I won’t” I begged and pleaded and got blocked on everything. I won’t ever reach out I have humiliated myself quite a bit already. I made a mistake stalking him on instagram and linkedin. He has a new job and seems genuinely happier now. He was very depressed and angry all the time when we were still talking. Everything I would say he would take it the wrong way. I’m happy for him but knowing that he’s never going to contact me really hurts me. It’s silly of me to even continue talking about him since it’s been a month already. I think he’ll keep me blocked forever, I mean nothing to him and he probably forgot about me by now. It lasted about 10 months. 

Edited May 21, 2023 by Idk1029

[NuevoYorko]

Of course they don't "always come back."  That's absurd.  People actually break up for good all the time; you know this.

[basil67]

Of course they don't all come back.   After all, you didn't reach out to the other previous exes and you haven't tried to reach out to this guy.

Bigger question is: You've got nothing good to say about this man.  So why are you hurt that he doesn't contact you?  Surely the day when you forget him will be the day you're much happier. 

[Wiseman2]

59 minutes ago, Idk1029 said:

, we never had a loving relationship. He told me many times I was the worst girl he’s ever dated. 

Please see a therapist for help with this. Allowing someone to treat you like dirt for this long and chasing after them, indicates you could use help unpacking and sorting out what's going on for you. Please delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Idk1029 said:

So many people say “they always come back”

But obviously this is not true. There are just as many cases when they don't come back. 

I can think of two guys I never heard from again. And I have also never contacted the guys I dumped again. People who makes "always" statements like this are either living in denial or haven't lived enough life yet to know that nothing is "always" true. 

The bigger problem is why you stuck around with a guy like your ex. That is where you should focus, and not whether exes always comes back.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

. So far my two previous ex’s came back. 

Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons. Lonely, bored, in-between relationships, horny, etc. So it's time to reflect why you're getting involved in on/off and drama-based relationships. 

[MikeAndTheMechanics52]

52 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons. Lonely, bored, in-between relationships, horny, etc. So it's time to reflect why you're getting involved in on/off and drama-based relationships. 

Sad, but true (from personal experience )

[princessaurora]

5 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

I begged and pleaded and got blocked on everything. I won’t ever reach out I have humiliated myself quite a bit already. I made a mistake stalking him on instagram and linkedin.

You lost yourself in him. I know, I've been there. When they have you doing things like pleading and stalking, you are exhibiting self destructive behavior and it's time to wake up and realize those behaviors are beneath you.  But you said yourself, it wasn't a loving relationship, so why would you want him to come back? It sounds to me like you may be in love with the idea of a relationship, but not an actual person. But it is better to be alone than to be in a bad one. You will find someone else in time that you will feel secure with. This is not him and if he ever tries to come back, you should slam the door in his face because it won't be for the right reasons. 

[smackie9]

hey we all have been there and got a little cray cray. It's a matter of reeling yourself in, and straightening yourself out....give yourself a talking to.

[Idk1029]

7 hours ago, basil67 said:

Of course they don't all come back.   After all, you didn't reach out to the other previous exes and you haven't tried to reach out to this guy.

Bigger question is: You've got nothing good to say about this man.  So why are you hurt that he doesn't contact you?  Surely the day when you forget him will be the day you're much happier. 

I’m not sure, I believe it’s because I feel bad for him. And I still care a bit about him. He was never in a good mental health and I made it worse. Because I wasn’t stable either, I have BPD and medication was not affected. However, I dropped it and have been doing better. I talk to my new therapist and she is helping me through this. Overall, I just wonder how’s he’s doing, I hope he’s doing fine. 

[Idk1029]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Whenever an ex contacts you it's for their own reasons. Lonely, bored, in-between relationships, horny, etc. So it's time to reflect why you're getting involved in on/off and drama-based relationships. 

I am in therapy. I learned all these men were using me for company. I don’t think I’ve had a real relationship ever. 

[ShyViolet]

Umm no, exes do not "always come back."  That's ridiculous.  Some do, but many relationships end for good with no further contact.  And that is often how it needs to be.

I don't understand why you are even entertaining ideas of this particular guy "coming back", when he treated you horribly and was mean to you on a regular basis.  You have to have some really low self-esteem to have begged a guy like that to take you back or hoping he would.

[Idk1029]

30 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

Umm no, exes do not "always come back."  That's ridiculous.  Some do, but many relationships end for good with no further contact.  And that is often how it needs to be.

I don't understand why you are even entertaining ideas of this particular guy "coming back", when he treated you horribly and was mean to you on a regular basis.  You have to have some really low self-esteem to have begged a guy like that to take you back or hoping he would.

Yes I have low self esteem, I wish I could despise him but I can’t hate people. He was very mean to me towards the end when I wanted to fix things. I tried my best and idk why I feel sad about it when he just got angry at me for no reason and decided to cut me off. He said I am a horrible person and I should be dead instead. I make his mental health an excuse for his behavior. But I honestly think he just hates me at this point. And it hurts because I care for him.

[Alpacalia]

2 minutes ago, Idk1029 said:

He said I am a horrible person and I should be dead instead.

Is this the same thread?

Ex Bf Ignored My Apology Text - Dating - LoveShack.org

[Lotsgoingon]

They always come back? I have NEVER heard that. 

With an ex the goal (with extremely rare exceptions) is to not want them back.

[Weezy1973]

They practically never come back as far as I can tell. I’ve had one off again on again relationship, but the rest just ended and that was that. Never heard from each other again.

[MsJayne]

19 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

Everything I would say he would take it the wrong way.

Can you give us an example of something you said which he took offence at? 

[ShyViolet]

11 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

Yes I have low self esteem, I wish I could despise him but I can’t hate people. 

You don't need to hate him.  That's not the goal.  You need to learn to make better decisions, to recognize what is normal and healthy behavior in relationships and what is not.  You stayed in a completely toxic relationship until he was the one to end it.  So if he hadn't cut off contact with you, you would still be in this?  You are not ready to date again until you get into some serious therapy to work on your dysfunctional tendencies in relationships.

[Idk1029]

1 hour ago, MsJayne said:

Can you give us an example of something you said which he took offence at? 

I told him I shop at trader joe’s it’s a grocery store in the US. He said “You’re pathetic for spending money and acting like you never have money”. For the people who shop at trader joe’s it is affordable and organic. A lot cheaper than whole foods. Not sure why he would say such stupid thing, he also never had money either. 

[Idk1029]

16 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

You don't need to hate him.  That's not the goal.  You need to learn to make better decisions, to recognize what is normal and healthy behavior in relationships and what is not.  You stayed in a completely toxic relationship until he was the one to end it.  So if he hadn't cut off contact with you, you would still be in this?  You are not ready to date again until you get into some serious therapy to work on your dysfunctional tendencies in relationships.

I am not dating anytime soon, I don’t have the urge to date anyone. I want to focus on myself, be a better person. I never want to experience toxic relationships ever again. However, I don’t think I would have continued for longer. I was tired of crying every time and feeling anxious. I am happy it ended, but not the way it ended. If that makes sense. 

[Idk1029]

10 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

They always come back? I have NEVER heard that. 

With an ex the goal (with extremely rare exceptions) is to not want them back.

I see a lot of videos on tiktok saying they come back. 

[Idk1029]

11 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Is this the same thread?

Ex Bf Ignored My Apology Text - Dating - LoveShack.org

Nope, but I can relate to them. 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Idk1029 said:

I see a lot of videos on tiktok saying they come back. 

Tiktok is hardly the pinnacle of quality information.  

I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better and good on you for putting in the hard work.  I think it's best to leave this guy in the past and focus on yourself.  

Edited May 22, 2023 by basil67

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

, I have BPD and medication was not affected. However, I dropped it and have been doing better. I talk to my new therapist and she is helping me through this. 

Try to focus solely on your own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and your mental and physical health. Follow up regularly with your healthcare providers.  Please don't use TikTok as a form of valid information, it's intended as entertainment. As you know, it's very controversial and there are concerns about teens being polluted with  misinformation. Instead talk to trusted friends, family and your therapist.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Idk1029 said:

I see a lot of videos on tiktok saying they come back. 

Please don't take TikTok as some great teacher about life. 

You know perfectly well that exes don't always come back. If that were even remotely true, people wouldn't move on to other relationships. Use some common sense, OP.