sparkles0913 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 So, this guy I went out with a few weeks ago I had fun with. I really liked hanging out with him and had a lot of fun. He's an ex and we did end up kissing quite a bit that night, but that's it. Well, when we were kissing, he kept asking me if he could take me to a movie and I jokingly told him "No" even though I'm not sure why I said that. After I said that I knew I should have said yes because I like this guy again and he seems to have worked through the issues we had. So, I text messaged him a few days later and he responded. Then, I text messaged him again later that week to see if he was going out, and he never responded. I haven't heard from him otherwise. I called him yesterday (two weeks after the last time we hung out) and he didn't answer and has not called me back yet. If he is no longer interested why can't he just say, "you know, I had fun, but this isn't going to work" or something along those lines? Why does he bother just not paying attention to me now after we made out? I wish he would just tell me one way or the other as to whether he wants to hang out again or not. He called me to hang out a few weeks ago and I'll admit it was a bit awkward afterwards, but then why doesn't he just tell me he's not interested instead of getting back to me sometimes and not others?
Yamaha Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I think his silence is your answer. Do you want someone who treats you like that?
collegegirl83 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I'm kinda going through the same thing right now. He would call me 2 or 3 times a week and only once did I call him and he didn't answer but called me right back. We had a lot of fun and fun talking. When I didn't hear from him in about a week I text messaged him asking how it was going. He didn't respond so 3 days later I called him and he didn't answer. I know it's really frustrating to know what guys are thinking when they pursue you and your having a lot of fun and all of a sudden they have this bad attitude. I know it's easy to say it's over but when your in that situation it's hard to just do that when you know there is or could be more there.
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 He can't be bothered to, that's why. I'm sorry...That and I'm sure he doesn't want to "talk" so he's doing the avoid game and hope that you'll figure it out on your own. Don't call him anymore. He's your EX for a reason.
gigi79 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 i had the same thing. i went out w/ this guy he called the next day, i'm guessing a courtesy call to say he had a good time. so a few days later i called to say hi. well he didn't answer or call back. the only thing i don't get is why did he bother to call in the first place.
Walk Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 I wish he would just tell me one way or the other as to whether he wants to hang out again or not. He called me to hang out a few weeks ago and I'll admit it was a bit awkward afterwards, but then why doesn't he just tell me he's not interested instead of getting back to me sometimes and not others? What did you mean here? When you said he called you a few weeks ago, was that the last time you hung out? Or a seperate incident? I'm wondering if you're saying he calls every once in a while? Is this the first time you've talked to him since you stopped seeing him the first time? Or does he call sporadically. Like every other month, or something? So, maybe you didn't handle the question of going to the movies very well. However, you've made every attempt to let him know you are still interested in talking to him, even if you did say no to going to the movies. Don't beat yourself up over that one. So now that you've called and text, you have to stop calling and texting. Give him some time. Maye he's debating what he wants and how he feels. Maybe he's busy. From my experience, some guys call up old flames, or girls they've seen in the past as sort of a ego boost. I don't think they do it to be hurtful to the girl specifical. But he may have only called because he was curious how you were doing, and wanted the attention you would give him. Now that he got that, he's probably not going to call again, or answer you calls. If he calls you up every great while, and shows this same pattern, then you're going to have to decide if you want to be the ego boost for a guy who doesn't really want you. On the other hand, he may have been testing the waters to see how he still felt about you. It's not good when he won't answer your messages. The best you can do at this stage, is stop contacting him. He won't be more driven to call you if you continue leaving messages, and texting him. Most people don't change much over time. If there was a problem before, there will be a problem again. Don't assume he's different and everything will work out this time. If he had some kind of life altering event, maybe. But if he's been living basically the same as always, then he's probably the exact same guy you broke up with before.
Author sparkles0913 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Thanks for responding, I just noticed you had a few questions in your response that I wanted to clear up. The guy and I dated in high school, about four years ago. We stopped talking all together when we stopped seeing eachother. The only time I heard from him was once my sophomore year of college when he bailed on our breakfast meeting and once my junior year of college when he bailed on another breakfast meeting. Again, I didn't know how he got my numbers to my dorm until I talked to him that first time I hung out with him and he confessed he used to stop by my mom's work periodically and he got my number from her. He said he never showed up for breakfast b/c he had a g/f at the time and couldn't go through with meeting me for a simple breakfast (what that is supposed to mean, I have no clue). So, other than the past month, I haven't actually seen the guy in five years and have had two extremely short conversations with him when we agreed to meet for breakfast and then he never called. The one night I had with him almost three weeks ago was great and I just called him at the two week point on Sunday night and since then have not done anything. I don't know if you would call me an ego boost considering I don't think he thought I would actually show up this one time and plus it was the second time he had seen me in five years. Does that clear anything up?
Walk Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 The only time I heard from him was once my sophomore year of college when he bailed on our breakfast meeting and once my junior year of college when he bailed on another breakfast meeting. Although the guy may be fun, etc. He doesn't sound like he's very dependable. I've never had good experiences with guys who can't keep a simple date. Once, maybe. Twice, I'm over it. Unless their mom died or something equally traumatic. But it would lead me to believe he didn't respect me if he was willing to ditch me twice. The whole gf thing was a cover-up, an excuse. For your own dignity, I would advise not talking to him again.
Panhandler Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Well there are a few reasons I wouldn't call a girl back. One she told me she has a boyfriend, or starts talking goofy, like oh I like this guy acting like we are just boring friends. Two she expects something from me that I don't wanna give her. Three, I have a girlfriend or something else to do, and I just don't care what she's up too.
glittergurl Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Oh, that sucks that he's not showing any sign of life since then. As hard as it may be, I'd force myself not to text message or call him until he does (which could be never). You've already tried to contact him a few times; now it's up to him. Not sure if it's because of your "no" answer to the movie thing ... ?
slubberdegullion Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Wait a sec, hold the phone here. Glitter raised a good point. I don't get why everyone thinks the guy is such a creep. After all, when he asked her to go to that movie, you said no. From all I've seen, read and understood, no means no. He respected that. So now you're miffed because he took you at your word?
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