gefiltepez Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 A little background. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years 3 weeks ago. It was the third time we have broken up. This one is really it though. There is no going back on this one. I love her very very much and I think she is an amazing person. If it wasn't for the fact that we have had the same problems for years and they never seem to improve I would have considered marrying her. We are both pretty stobborn and despite talking to a relationship counselor and honestly trying to work out our issues, I think we just had some sort of intrinsic personality conflict. We fought pretty much once a week. I don't mean a little tiny argument, I mean a full on yelling match. In the end, although I love her very much I knew things were just never going to change. I did what I had to do for both of us. I just couldn't deal with the fighting anymore. It was starting to depress me. I guess she never did fully trust me. I am not sure why she felt that way either, I never gave her any reason to think I was going to cheat. I guess in the end that lack of trust was a huge problem in the relationship. It wasn't that I didn't love her anymore, but I did what I felt was best for the both of us, something that she would NEVER have done. So in the end I came out looking like the bad guy, but I honestly did the right thing. THE BIGGER ISSUES: I can't seem to pull the trigger on dating or even getting laid. I REALLY need it, and there are multiple girls that I know like me, but for reason I am just feeling a little gun shy. Hell she is already dating someone else and I am the one that broke up with her. I guess that's to be expected though, she is a very attractive woman. She actually called me the other night and wanted to sleep over (adamant that she was not calling to get back together, but that she just wanted to get laid). She was drunk. I told her it was a really bad idea. I mean that would really complicate the line between being broken up and not. She claimed she could separate her feelings from it, but I told her that even if she could I didn't think I could. She then complained that when we were together I told her if we ever broke up we could be friends with benefits. She is a very sexual person, not a cheater or anything, but she needs sex, especially when she is in a relationship. It sucks because I really wanted to. I still love her and I am very attracted to her, but I I know we are a bad couple and that would just be a bad idea. AARRRGGG, it is very frustrating. I am also incredibly jealous of whoever she is dating (at least she isn't sleeping with him yet). It kinda pissed me off that she talked to me about the other guy, but I know she didn't do it to be spiteful. She was just missing me and wanted to talk like friends. We both want to be friends with one another, so she was just updating me on her life and that came up. Unfortunately I think it may just be too early. I don't know why, I but I really want to beat the crap out of the guy she is dating. I feel ridiculous about that, it is totally irrational. I broke up with her, she SHOULD be dating. It is good for her. I know being broken up with her is the right thing, but I still feel like she is MY girl. You know what I mean? Anyway, I guess I am just feeling a little confused. It seems like I am having a harder time with this than she is, and it sucks. Anyone have any advice or experience re: sleeping with your EX, or jealousy and moving on, when you are the one that did the breaking up? Thanks, G
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