GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Our relationship was toxic, more toxic than my previous one. We lasted 5 months more than my other relationship. It’s been a month and 6 days since he blocked me on every communication platform. I am broken this happened, we both apologized and forgave each other. One night he got angry at me and told me to never ever speak to him again. After having a good time together we went for a walk and talked a lot about our future after college. Out of desperation I decided to message him on whatsapp and blew his phone up he told me he would arrest me for harassment. I then pleaded him to not with another fake number. I later apologized after a week he ignored me. I was depressed and created another fake number and started telling him how I felt. And how hurt I was. (yes stupid idea). I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me if he wanted space from me…. I would have given it. Instead he just blocks me and gets angry at me. Obviously he could never press charges on me cuz i only harassed him 3 times. And that was days after we met. I spoke to a lawyer about this situation they told me that since we met recently and I only harassed him 3 times after we met that’s not enough for him to press charges against me. He told to never initiate any type of contact with him whatsoever unless he does. I listened to the lawyer and it’s been 20 days and will continue to not contact him. However, there’s not a day that I don’t think about him. I wish I could talk to him again, every ex of mine has came back and reached out on their own.But at the same time I feel he won’t ever do so. He’s the type to not look back, Im not someone who believes ex’s are supposed to never talk again. Unless there’s a restraining order which in this case there’s not. I am doing better mentally sorta, but the hope of him reaching out won’t go away. I’m not proud of my actions, I made him block me with my begging and pleading. I regret not respecting his boundaries. He is graduating in two weeks and his bday is soon as well. I wanted to celebrate big with him. But I can’t anymore.
stillafool Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 It sounds like he hates you at this point. I think you're right, he'll never reach out to you. He's moved on with his life and probably with another girl by now. Have you ever thought about seeking therapy? 2
Gaeta Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 You need to reach to a therapist and work on yourself. You are young with your whole life ahead. If you don't nip in the butt your emotional dependancy you will have a life time of toxic relationships and unhappiness.
Author GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Author Posted May 9, 2023 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: It sounds like he hates you at this point. I think you're right, he'll never reach out to you. He's moved on with his life and probably with another girl by now. Have you ever thought about seeking therapy? Yeah he hasn’t even moved on from his ex lol. His ex never talked to him again he’s not a good person and I don’t think his next relationship will last. He’s a narcissist and likes to be pampered. Nah I don’t need therapy I’m good.
Alvi Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 OP, please, leave him alone. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want anything further coming from you. He is not the last man left on this planet. You will find someone else in time. In a meantime, seek some help for the mental issues that you have because what you are describing is very unhealthy and might land you in prison.
Author GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Author Posted May 9, 2023 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You need to reach to a therapist and work on yourself. You are young with your whole life ahead. If you don't nip in the butt your emotional dependancy you will have a life time of toxic relationships and unhappiness. Therapy doesn’t solve every issue. Yeah that’s why all my ex’s are begging for me again hahhaa Edited May 9, 2023 by GoodVibess
Alvi Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, GoodVibess said: Yeah he hasn’t even moved on from his ex lol. His ex never talked to him again he’s not a good person and I don’t think his next relationship will last. He’s a narcissist and likes to be pampered. Nah I don’t need therapy I’m good. It really doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do. Take care of your own well being. 1
basil67 Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 It's very normal to move on without our exes in our lives. I would imagine most of us don't actually block our exes...but that's because they accept that we all need to move on and don't go contacting us. But if that ex was to keep reaching out and annoyed us in one way or another, sure, blocking forever is the answer. You didn't need to see a lawyer about his threat to put a restraining order on you - all you needed to do was STOP contacting him. It's time to move on.
basil67 Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: Yeah he hasn’t even moved on from his ex lol. His ex never talked to him again he’s not a good person and I don’t think his next relationship will last. He’s a narcissist and likes to be pampered. Nah I don’t need therapy I’m good. Actually this comment suggests that you do need therapy. What he's doing now or with other exes is of no relevance in either this thread or your life. And you're wanting to stay in contact with a guy who you call a narcissist and not a good person. It's also of no relevance that your other exes want you back. Your though train is pretty messed up. Therapy isn't about solving an issue. It's about changing how you react to the issues. Edited May 9, 2023 by basil67 1
stillafool Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: Yeah he hasn’t even moved on from his ex lol. His ex never talked to him again he’s not a good person and I don’t think his next relationship will last. He’s a narcissist and likes to be pampered. Nah I don’t need therapy I’m good. Oh so you're not even a recent ex? Girl, move on. He's not even thinking about you. 1
Author GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Author Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, stillafool said: Oh so you're not even a recent ex? Girl, move on. He's not even thinking about you. I am his recent ex….. I’m talking about the girl before him. He never moved on from her.
Author GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Author Posted May 9, 2023 4 minutes ago, basil67 said: Actually this comment suggests that you do need therapy. What he's doing now or with other exes is of no relevance in either this thread or your life. And you're wanting to stay in contact with a guy who you call a narcissist and not a good person. It's also of no relevance that your other exes want you back. Your though train is pretty messed up. Therapy isn't about solving an issue. It's about changing how you react to the issues. Well all my ex’s have came back and begging me for another chance when I did them wrong…. this time he treated me like dust. He would always compare me to his ex who never talked to him again. I have every right to feel the way I do.
Author GoodVibess Posted May 9, 2023 Author Posted May 9, 2023 10 minutes ago, Alvi said: OP, please, leave him alone. He made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want anything further coming from you. He is not the last man left on this planet. You will find someone else in time. In a meantime, seek some help for the mental issues that you have because what you are describing is very unhealthy and might land you in prison. He would end up in prison before me for hitting me and bruising my lip.
basil67 Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 (edited) 18 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: Well all my ex’s have came back and begging me for another chance when I did them wrong…. this time he treated me like dust. He would always compare me to his ex who never talked to him again. I have every right to feel the way I do. So this is the first time an ex didn't beg for you to come back after you did them wrong? Seems that your ego is bruised because he won't put up with your s*** Yes, you have the right to feel the way you do, but it doesn't mean that those feelings are healthy or productive. I mean, why do you want to be in contact with a guy who always compared you to his ex? And nobody goes to prison over a bruised lip. Edited May 10, 2023 by basil67
basil67 Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 Is this the guy you're talking about? The two of you exhibited the most appalling behaviour. At least he's strong enough to pull the plug on this permanently. Could it be that you're sad because of a bruised ego and addiction to the drama?
Author GoodVibess Posted May 10, 2023 Author Posted May 10, 2023 6 minutes ago, basil67 said: So this is the first time an ex didn't beg for you to come back after you did them wrong? Seems that your ego is bruised because he won't put up with your s*** Yes, you have the right to feel the way you do, but it doesn't mean that those feelings are healthy or productive. I mean, why do you want to be in contact with a guy who always compared you to his ex? No my ego is not bruised. I just feel I did a lot more for him that I’ve ever done for any of my ex’s. And I wish him and I could talk again and not have bad blood between us.
basil67 Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 Given what you’ve said about him, there is already bad blood from your side. it doesn’t make sense that you’d want someone like this in your life. With regards to him not wanting to speak to you, it’s quite normal and healthy to block someone from our lives when we feel the relationship has become too toxic. And assuming your quoted post was about him, leaving each other behind is the smartest thing to do. 1
Alvi Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 2 hours ago, GoodVibess said: He would end up in prison before me for hitting me and bruising my lip. Oh my God. This is terrible on a million levels. This is a guy you are begging to come back? Seriously, be glad that he blocked you and is out of your life. Sincerely hope that he keeps you blocked and that he stays out of your life for good. Seriously, seek some help, this is not good at all.
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 2 hours ago, GoodVibess said: He would end up in prison before me for hitting me and bruising my lip. It's a good idea to stay away from someone where violence and police threats are involved. Is this the same man?:
ExpatInItaly Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 5 hours ago, GoodVibess said: Im not someone who believes ex’s are supposed to never talk again But you are not the only person whose opinion counts here. He doesn't want to hear from you. You need to stop, and assume you won't hear from him again. Get yourself into counselling to help deal with the abuse, and also your uncontrolled impulse to make him talk to you. It seems you have some very unhealthy relationship patterns.
NuevoYorko Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 It doesn't matter whether you think exes should "never talk again" or not - you said this was a terribly toxic relationship. So now you're free of it - make sure you CUT ALL CONTACT right away. Now. And GET HELP. Frankly you are coming off here as very unstable and potentially even dangerous. You need to learn to leave people alone or else it can and will be considered stalking. 1
JTSW Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 9 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me if he wanted space from me…. The below quotes are why. 9 hours ago, GoodVibess said: Out of desperation I decided to message him on whatsapp and blew his phone up he told me he would arrest me for harassment. I then pleaded him to not with another fake number. 9 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I was depressed and created another fake number and started telling him how I felt. And how hurt I was. 9 hours ago, GoodVibess said: i only harassed him 3 times. 9 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I made him block me with my begging and pleading. I regret not respecting his boundaries. You acted completely insane. This is extremely unhealthy crazy behaviour. Creating fake numbers to harass over and over is 'fatal attraction' behaviour. Whether you think so or not, you really need to see a therapist. You seem to think its ok to do someone wrong because they will still reach out to you. But this guy wont, and it has made you go insane. Ex's do NOT have to stay in touch, only if they want to remain friends (not everyone does this though). Please get help. 1
stillafool Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 (edited) The guy is probably afraid of you and I don't blame him. You could get him into severe trouble. Leave him alone because he doesnt want anything to do with you. Edited May 10, 2023 by stillafool
mark clemson Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 20 hours ago, GoodVibess said: Our relationship was toxic, more toxic than my previous one. Indeed, a normal and healthy relationship DOESN'T sound like what you describe. YOU are half of that and sometimes "broken attracts broken". As others are noting, it very much sounds like you need to get yourself to a place where you can have healthy relationships and not chase after someone who's not interested anymore. Could it be you are attempting to do "narcissistic hoovering" or similar with this man? That's not a diagnosis or anything, OR something you need to answer, but it's something you might consider. You could consider researching the Drama Triangle, to become more aware of dysfunctional dynamics in your relationships. Sooner or later you're likely to learn what life teaches many of us eventually - which is to run away from, not towards, the red flags.
free_radicals Posted May 21, 2023 Posted May 21, 2023 Many bad moves on your part. No wonder he blocked you for harassment. Here's what you need to do: stop looking for ways to communicate with him. Work on yourself, your hobbies, goals, go out with friends, etc. Don't look at his social media. Basically forget about him. He then MIGHT decide to unblock you and reach out once he calms down. It could be months.
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