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Posted (edited)

Hello ive been talking to a girl for maybe 2 weeks and we decided 2 different dates, however she said she was busy and didnt have time but that she'd like to do something some other time, i became upset the second time and im usually very calm and rarely get upset anyways i asked her when she would have time and asked why she's busy when we have something planned, ever since then she's either not answered to my questions or if she has its usually just really short messages like "okay and good for you" stuff like that (snapchat). Did i mess up real bad?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted
23 minutes ago, Gabb3x said:

 talking to a girl for maybe 2 weeks and we decided 2 different dates , she's either not answered to my questions or if she has its usually just really short messages 

You didn't mess up. If someone refuses to meet in person in a timely fashion it's a red flag, so it seems like you dodged a bullet. She seems like a timewaster so it may be best to move on and cut your losses.  Delete and block her if she's only texting nonsense.

Posted

Don't bother with this one.

She's not interested.

  • Author
Posted

Alright well thats not too fun

Posted
15 minutes ago, Gabb3x said:

Alright well thats not too fun

There's a lot of timewasters out there. The key is to identify them quickly and move on. In this case refusing to meet and sending nonsense texts are indicators to shut it down. 

  • Author
Posted
17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

There's a lot of timewasters out there. The key is to identify them quickly and move on. In this case refusing to meet and sending nonsense texts are indicators to shut it down. 

I see thanks for the advice 

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Posted (edited)

OP, nobody is too busy. Too busy is a code for not interested. Back in my younger days, when I wasn't very interested in a guy (perhaps I was a bit curious about a guy but not enough to actually follow through a meeting), I would tell him that I was too busy at work. I suppose, I was a timewaster but in reality, I wasn't comfortable to say no to a guy. Interested people act interested. Interested people have time to meet even if they are swapped with work, family, kids, etc...

Ask her to contact you when she has a time to actually meet and move on. Stop reaching out to her. Don't waste anymore of your time and energy on this woman.

P.S. She might not be single, for all your know. There are tons of married/partnered people on the dating sites or who pretend to be single. Not all of them are not looking to have a full-blown affair. They only want to chat and to see what is out there. 

Edited by Alvi
Posted
19 hours ago, Gabb3x said:

Did i mess up real bad?

There was nothing to mess up here. 

She isn't interested if she keeps putting you off. Don't bother with this one. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I agree with everyone. You're more interested in her than she is in you. Time to let that one go. 

 

When you say you got upset do you meant you expressed your frustration to her or no? If I said I was busy and the guy visibly got upset I think I would be a little uncomfortable if we weren't in a relationship. 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

You didn't mess up anything really. She wasn't interested and made you some chat buddy. Time to move on. Next time keep your kool and just leave it. Depart graciously.

Posted

I don't think you did, unless you did something like wait until 7pm on a Saturday night to text her if she wanted to do something.  Otherwise she may have already made plans.  Ask her what a good time for her is.  If she is still unsure, that's that. 

Posted (edited)

If she was sincerely into going out on a Date, She would find time in her "Busy schedule."  Don't bother with her now.  The only way you would "Mess up" is if you kept bothering her to make yourself seem needy to someone like that.  If she is truly interested in getting back in touch with You, You will hear back.😉

Edited by Ageless Wisdom23
  • 1 month later...
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Posted
On 5/10/2023 at 12:49 PM, meeji said:

I agree with everyone. You're more interested in her than she is in you. Time to let that one go. 

 

When you say you got upset do you meant you expressed your frustration to her or no? If I said I was busy and the guy visibly got upset I think I would be a little uncomfortable if we weren't in a relationship. 

Yes and no, i was very upset about it and i answered her in a kinda annoyed way that she was busy all the time, i tried asking her out 3 times and well when i think back i do regret that i let my annoyance get through, like i wrote earlier im usually a very calm but yes it was apparent that i was upset in the message

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Posted
On 5/23/2023 at 1:43 AM, mortensorchid said:

I don't think you did, unless you did something like wait until 7pm on a Saturday night to text her if she wanted to do something.  Otherwise she may have already made plans.  Ask her what a good time for her is.  If she is still unsure, that's that. 

Thats just the thing i asked her on maybe between monday and Wednesday, i try to make my schedule into a week where i plan stuff and such

 

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Posted

I might add though that i feel desperate about love i shouldnt say i havent been in a realtionship for very long, 4 years, it feels long to me because im still young (20), i just cant find anyone it feels like and i keep going back to these "studies" on how to find girls and like they tell me to just give up on finding love, i just dont know how to thoug

 

Posted

20s is a tough age. People are at the cusp of going off to travel, study and sometimes both at the same time. Others to work full time and earn their keep or move out because they have to. Nearly no one knows what they want in a relationship and don’t have the resources to pursue it. Not enough time or not enough money to go on dates or explore a relationship. Life is unstable and it’s perfectly ok. Yes it can be hard meeting someone but you don’t have to give up entirely. 

Id ditch the “studies” or whatever they are online. Start figuring out yourself and where you want to go or what you’d like to do. Be passionate about your hobbies and interests and meet likeminded women. You’ll be surprised who you’ll meet and enjoy the journey.

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