HeartBroke2006 Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Hi, just come across this site. Seems like I'm not the only confused and hurt person, it just feels that way some times. I'm in a bit of a dilemma. 4 weeks ago my girlfriend left me after 8 years of being together, of which 3 we lived together. Today I gave up my home and like her moved back with my parents to try and sort myself out. In August I took her on what was honestly the best holiday of my life. I booked an apartment with a balcony in the lounge and one in the bedroom overlooking the beach. It was just so perfect. After the holiday i took her to the place we met, and proposed to her -She did'nt say yes, nor did she say no. Anyways, you get the idea. After our holiday we booked a hotel in the town where we first met. The hotel is booked for this weekend (11th & 12th Nov). After leaving me 4 weeks ago she came back to the town i live and went out with her friend to the bars she knew i would be at. I walked in with my friends and saw her sat on a table right in the doorway. This did'nt bother me because i see no need to fight with her. I later walked by her to go up the steps to the next floor and i heard her call my name. She still seems to want me and insists we still go to the hotel this weekend. I really dont know what to do, i love her so much but cant go through the pain i went throgh 4 weeks ago. I was so hurt i was out of action for 2 weeks. I honestly dont think i knew what love was until she walked out of my life. (both in our early twenties). Please advise me what to do, shes the best thing to ever come into my life but can i trust she wont hurt me like this again??? Should I go to this hotel, or would i just be a mug?
KatieMae Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 u should go. you guys will probably have a lot of fun, as well as some great make-up sex. but in the long run, youll be disappointed
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 7, 2005 Author Posted November 7, 2005 Hi Katie, Your answer is exactly how i'm feeling. I feel that she only wants to go to have a weekend away, with all the luxury thats gonna come with this huge bill. I'm aftraid I'm gonna look a mug, like a hager on. I dont want to look like i'm stalking her. The 1st 2 weeks of our break up was a killer for me, i went into work and nearly broke down in front of my boss, who told me to go home. He's helped me allot through this and I'm grateful of having a boss like him. I wish i'd come across this site back then, it would've helped me get through the torture. I just dont know what to do, i cant be hurt again, but want to to go and see if there is a chance.
J dub Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 Youve been together 8 yrs and youre in your early twenties which means you were what...13 or 14 when you first got together? She didnt answer with an enthusiastic "Yes!" to your proposal and that should tell you she's not in this for the long haul any longer. You both are emotionally dependant on eachother and I'm sure you love her as a person, but honestly you don't have anything to compare it against to really make a calculated and educated decision right now. You can take her out this weekend but bear in mind that its only going to be "Taking her out" and that's it...you deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them (which she clearly does not otherwise she'd have agreed to marry you immediately).
starr3546 Posted November 8, 2005 Posted November 8, 2005 personally i think that both of you need to move on for a little while and explore who you are as individuals. sometimes it is hard to walk away from someone you care about so much b/c it is comfortable being with that person. She didn't seem to enthusiastic as J dub said. I think it is best for both of you to go and explore the world on your own. Sometimes something you think is so great, suddenly isn't b//c you find you've change...and suddenly you meet someone or find something that is better.
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 8, 2005 Author Posted November 8, 2005 Hi thanks for the replies and advice, I am taking it all on board. We have allot of history together, as you can imagine in an 8 year relationship. She is 23 and i'm 26 (we met in a niteclub, would you beleive, and yes she lied about her age). I found out about her age after she fell pregnant (later on in our relationship) and lost our baby. The reason she has finished was because she knows i want children and she can no longer have them. If it was a choice of children or her, i honestly can say I would choose her rather than lose her. I know i've been afraid of putting relevant information down in my posts but i never know if shes using these forums or not, so please bare with me.
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 9, 2005 Author Posted November 9, 2005 My ex phoned and texted several times today to see if i was going to go away with her this weekend. I had to ignore all of them, as i really dont know what to do. I am so lost today, i felt like i was making some progress until she aproached me in the bar that nite. Please, please help me, I feel i'm back to square 1. I've got our song (Leanne Rimes -How do i live ) playing on repeat. How do i survive? Sorry friends but i'm so low and depressed today. She needs an answer by late tommorrow.
J dub Posted November 9, 2005 Posted November 9, 2005 >I've got our song (Leanne Rimes -How do i live ) playing on repeat. How do i survive? I'll tell you -- knock that sh*t off, turn on something enlightening and stop torturing yourself.
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 10, 2005 Author Posted November 10, 2005 J dub, I know your right. Last nite drinking did'nt help. However, I have made a decision. She called me earlier today and says we should go away and chat. I see no harm in this, so my decision is to go. I just hope I dont regret it and go back 3-4 weeks ago when I was the lowest I'd ever been. Thank you for your honest responses. I know I'm a weak person, and I'm also aware others go through this **** everyday, but we all handle things differently and I seem to handle it very badly. I would appreciate others thoughts on me going, would you do the same, after all its just to talk, whether its to sort things out or just for closure. I'm not feeling so bad right now.
lilmoma1973 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 I don't think you should go to the hotel ... Maybe she is just wanting a free weekend away and playing on your emotions.. You best bet is leave her be till she figures out what she wants.. If you love someone set them free if they come back it was meant to be if not she never was!!!! Good luck
ginger1 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 And I thought I was the only confused one! Well, I'm a romantic and I'm not one whose so quick to give up on someone. It sounds like you really love this girl. Anyway, I think maybe this hotel thing is a little too extreme to quick. If you want to make things work with her, you should take it slow. You don't want to expect too much too soon, or your down the path to heartache again. Start out simple and see what happens. The heartache is too fresh and if it is something that keeps occurring, you'll drive yourself mad. Start slow and see what happens, that's my advice. I hope everything works out. Good luck.
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Posted November 11, 2005 Ginger1, I never use to be romantic what so ever, and this caused a few problems, but for the past 6 months I've turned into a real soft romancer. Like you, I too cannot give up on 8 years so easily. A six month stint with some1 is what many people on these boards are finding hard to get over, but 8 years!!! Damn if i live to 80 I would've spent a tenth of my life with her. Well I leave to pick her up in 4 hours. Will update on Sunday.
chocolate_boy Posted November 11, 2005 Posted November 11, 2005 Be careful, I took my ex on vacation as we had already booked it and ended up breaking up the day before we went! Obviously our timing was worse than yours, but it was the worse vacation I have ever been on, it just put the final nail in our relationship, she was cold and ignored me for the whole week while I felt like ****. It does help me get over her when I think what a class A b.itch she was that week though!
Author HeartBroke2006 Posted November 13, 2005 Author Posted November 13, 2005 Thw weekend was O.K. Friday I picked her up, she looked stunning. Drove to the hotel, dropped the gear off and went into town. Went to a Chinese, it was great-sharing food across the table, tasting one anothers food. We then went into a couple of bars and ended up staying in one till closing. We talked, played pool and fusball. We kissed, went for a walk along the beach, and i gave her some sparklers (fireworks), as this was the 1st Nov 5th apart for 8 years and I know she loves sparklers. She started crying and we talked. She's not sure what she wants. Today, i spoke of how friday was the best nite out i'd had for weeks and she agreed. Well its my B'day today and its gotta be the worst I've ever felt on a B'day. My own fault I know!!! Its been 4 weeks, so now I'm just gonna give her space. I told her its time I let her go, for her to be happy (breaks my heart to say it), she says not to be stupid and that she does'nt know what she wants. So time and space is all I can do. Please nobody say "I told you so!"
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