escapesher Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Hi, I had posted once before. I am a 20 year old girl and I had my heart broken (by my ex-girlfriend) mid-July. It's been about 4 months now since my ex left me for a guy. Mutual friends and I believe one of the main reasons she chose to date a boy was because her parents were COMPLETELY not accepting of her being with a girl. Anyways... I'm okay - it's been a while. But I've found lately that I'm completely afraid to push aside our memories ("forget") because I'm afraid that if I don't remember and honor them, those moments will be lost forever. I've been doing NC since she started dating this guy. It seems like she completely forgot I exist. We had a 6 year history - 4 years of friendship and 2 in the relationship. Sometimes I still can NOT understand how she just forgot about me and moved on so quickly. I know I need to stop letting myself honor all these memories in order to move on and forgive her...can anyone help me out?
slubberdegullion Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 I think you may be confusing forgiveness with acceptance. Forgiveness has precious little to do with her, and everything to do with you. You can honour the memory of your times together with her by making the choice to forgive her. Also, forgiveness is a process, it's not a specifically defined moment, and it's certainly not a feeling. But others have looked at this in much more detail than I, so I'll defer to their greater wisdom. Check out some of the stuff here.
Smiles0216 Posted November 10, 2005 Posted November 10, 2005 I find that holding on to the good memories just builds more pain and resentment. Try and get rid of her from your mind just as she got rid of you from her mind. I would get rid of everything that reminds you of her (pics, stuff she has given you, her phone number and e-mail address). Maybe then it will be easier to move on.
Recommended Posts