malachai Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 i am hoping that i could get a little advise again my ex is coming by tomorrow to pick up the rest of her stuff when i'm not here (that whole story is in my other post), and right now i feel like writing her a letter that she will read tomorrow. basically, i want to just put forth all that i felt for her, and how much she did for me, and to also to wish her the best of luck in her future. i wanted to add that as my way of saying that, even though i miss the hell out of her, i am acknowledging the end of this and cannot pursue any friendship that she will most likely want in the near future. i really, really feel like doing this, but i don't wan't to put off a sense of desperation or anything. is this a bad idea? should i just say nothing? sorry for my confusion; as i titled my last post, i am all real new to this
d'Arthez Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 It is a very tough call to make. It also depends on your writing style. Not everyone could write a good letter, in circumstances like that. And of course your wording of thoughts and feelings. If you can do that perfectly, there is no harm in writing a letter. But it is easy to get carried away if you do that. I have not read your other posts. If the breakup is hard on you, and really long for her back, and live in a state of confusion, you could also opt to wait, and send her a letter about the relationship a few months afterwards. It would allow you to think a bit clearer, and you would easier avoid the impression of desperation.
helena abadi Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 a letter is not a bad idea, if you stick to your aim and resist adding bits about keeping doors open etc. from what you wrote, you are looking for closure, and that is healthy. i would keep it reasonably short.
Brokenheartedmom Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 i think as long as you are using this letter for closure and not trying to guilt her into coming back then it may be a good idea.
flyjetjay Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 I agree with brokenheartedmom. As long as it is in closure to cler your mind of thought and feelings its not a bad idea. But make sure that this is what you want to do and make sure you stick to your points and not to guilt her in that she made a bad decision. Also, dont talk down to her in the letter.
meltwithme Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 NONONO If anything ask her for her mailing address and send it months later. The only thing you can do is make things worse. Dont talk yourself into writing it for closure, get that some other way. Take this from a guy who did write the goodbye letter, you must not give it to her. She has made up her mind already and the letter wont change that at all. Ask yourself "why am I writing this, will it do me any good?"
Author malachai Posted November 7, 2005 Author Posted November 7, 2005 thanks for the replies all... i am getting ready to leave, and at the last minute i decided i would not leave the letter. i found a thread on here about a similar situation, and in it some people talked about how not recieving a reply might make things worse. i can see that happening, and i know that that would probably drive me nuts. so i changed my mind. i realize after all this, i'm weak.i didn't realize it, but part of me wanted to do this because i thought it would make her realize how strong a person i was, that i don't need her, and like many heartbreakees, thought that might give her a reason to say, "hey, i shouldn't give up on this guy". she knows how i felt about her, i know now that i don't need to write it down just to make my point yet again i'm really glad i caught myself before i dug myself deeper anyway, thanks agian for all your help!!
J dub Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 i found a thread on here about a similar situation, and in it some people talked about how not recieving a reply might make things worse. i can see that happening, and i know that that would probably drive me nuts. so i changed my mind. PHEW! I thought I was too late...thank heavens you didnt send/give it to her, any time this situation comes about, its always better to not say anything than say too much.
mini696 Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Not only can't some people write a good letter, but some people can't read one, and misinterpret the meanings. I have written letters during breakups, and of course during relationships before, and have had good and bad experiences with both.
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