Brokenheartedmom Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 I have never posted anything like this... but i am so lost right now.. i am pretty desperate for advice.... let me give you some background on my relationship.... I am a single mom with two little girls ages 5 and 6... i have been divorced for 5 years.. dated a few people but never have had anything close to love... until i met J.... the man of my dreams..... I was just totally swept off of my feet... and he was too... He finally said he loved me and i was the love of his life... i was in heaven...i truly believe he is the only person who has ever loved me... i can tell just by looking in his eyes.... we went away last weekend and spent the most wonderful weekend together... he even asked me to marry him... and i said yes.... then on friday he broke up with me saying he just didn't know if he could be a parental figure to my kids.... he is 31 and never been married and has no kids...we had planned on moving in together at the end of this month...but he said that he didn't know if his feelings would ever change and that wouldn't be fair to me and my kids to string us a long for 6 months or a year or however long it would take....so he left saying he was sorry he wasted my time... i told him it wasn't a waste.... and he said he hoped that one day i could forgive him for this... i do not doubt for one second that he loves me.... i know he does.... and i know we should be together... i truly believe he is my soul mate....i have prayed and prayed and prayed that he is half as miserable right now as i am. do you think we have a chance of working this out? I have not tried to contact him since he left on friday night... it's now sunday..... and i have complete faith that i can be strong and not contact him.... should i contact him? should i try to fix this or will i just push him further away? thanks for your input.
Outcast Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Unless you can operate on his brain and change it, there's nothing you can do to fix this. It's his issue and unless he wises up, unfortunately he did indeed waste your time.
slubberdegullion Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Brokenheartedmom; Praying is all well and good, and if that's where you get your strength, then that's fine. But it's not likely to solve anything. Outcast is right (she's pretty smart). The issue about kids is his and his alone. Now, I wouldn't characterize it as wasting your time; after all, you enjoyed his company and he enjoyed yours. But given the fact that you and your kids come as a package, you may be better off without him and his doubts. I know it hurts, because I lost someone who fit into the "soul mate" category as well, but you will heal. Good luck.
JohnJohn Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 then on friday he broke up with me saying he just didn't know if he could be a parental figure to my kids.... he is 31 and never been married and has no kids...we had planned on moving in together at the end of this month...but he said that he didn't know if his feelings would ever change and that wouldn't be fair to me and my kids to string us a long for 6 months or a year or however long it would take....so he left saying he was sorry he wasted my time... Maybe it's just me but I'd show respect to a woman by letting her know this BEFORE I asked her to marry me.
mini696 Posted November 7, 2005 Posted November 7, 2005 Well I would say he was lying to you when he said he loved you. Going into a relationship when you know the other person has kids involves loving all of them. I have just broken up with someone who was actually jealous that I got along with her daughter (3yo), and that took time away from her. Go figure... I say to continue your NC... Its his problem with the kids, not yours.
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