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I feel this former co-worker/'friend' likes to gossip with former coworkers? Should I cut ties with her?

Chloeflowers

By Chloeflowers
in Friendship

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Chloeflowers Established Member

Chloeflowers

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So, I was at a job that I hated and quit. One of the other gals-that worked for 4 years there quit before me. When she left, she warned me about the supervisors and how they handled things there and she thought that they were going to promote me to her previous job. Turns out, that wasn't the case-they hired someone new. Anyway, the reason why she approached me was because if I have gotten promoted-I could reach out to her for questions. We weren't friends at work.  Anyway, once in a while we text-since she's worked there for 4 years, I know she is friends with ppl in the department. Someone is informing her on anything new that happens in the department-which I think is dumb, why would she care what happens in the dept if she doesn't even work there anymore? 

Like my supervisor sent an introductory email to everyone-well- she texted me and told me that she saw that email? I asked her how if she doesn't any access and is no longer an employee? She said, she has "people" that inform her. I'm like wth? Then I ended up quitting-I didn't tell her that I quit-she texted me and told me that she "heard I quit." Because someone in the dept seems like a busybody and gossips on what's happening. She asked me to let her know if I ever want to hang out with her. But, now, I don't want to give her any info about what's happening in my life or what work I do, etc, etc, because I feel like she's going to tell those former nosy coworkers my business then they will just gossip.

Should I cut ties with her? Also, why the heck is someone informing her on what's happening in the dept if she's no longer employed there? I don't work there anymore and I don't care about what happens in the dept anymore. 

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
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14 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Should I cut ties with her? Also, why the heck is someone informing her on what's happening in the dept if she's no longer employed there? I don't work there anymore and I don't care about what happens in the dept anymore. 

Yes cut ties because you will always find something wrong with her.  She probably asked the person who worked there how you're doing and they said "she quit".  End of story.  Hope you like your new/old job.

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Chloeflowers Established Member

Chloeflowers

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Posted (edited)

If she wants to know how I'm doing- she can text me, I have no problem telling her how I'm doing. She has my number. Maybe I don't  want to disclose some information with her about my job status-I'm sure she chooses not to disclose information about her life to me. I would have told her that I quit later on, but some third party already beat me to it. 

Also, the fact someone in the dept took a picture of my introduction email and sent it to her via text so she can see...wow. Who does that? I'm really not that important. 

Edited by Chloeflowers
NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

. Someone is informing her on anything new that happens in the department-which I think is dumb, why would she care what happens in the dept if she doesn't even work there anymore? 

 

So ... why do YOU care about what someone who doesn't work there anymore says about anything going on there?  YOU don't work there anymore yourself!  

I have the impression that you are addicted to drama.

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Chloeflowers Established Member

Chloeflowers

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4 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

So ... why do YOU care about what someone who doesn't work there anymore says about anything going on there?  YOU don't work there anymore yourself!  

I have the impression that you are addicted to drama.

Its moreso that they are talking about my personal business. 

NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

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Posted
1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

Its moreso that they are talking about my personal business. 

Block them.  What they think about any topic doesn't have anything to do with you, and what they talk about amongst themselves is their own business.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Posted (edited)

I can easily imagine talking with friends who are old coworkers and getting the update on what's going on.  And that you quit is hardly personal business. 

Surely you have friends who might tell you some news about other friends when you're chatting?  Assuming one isn't spreading malicious gossip, this is all pretty innocuous stuff

Edited by basil67
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Chloeflowers Established Member

Chloeflowers

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13 hours ago, basil67 said:

I can easily imagine talking with friends who are old coworkers and getting the update on what's going on.  And that you quit is hardly personal business. 

Surely you have friends who might tell you some news about other friends when you're chatting?  Assuming one isn't spreading malicious gossip, this is all pretty innocuous stuff

What rubbed me the wrong way is that someone in the dept took a picture and texted her my "introductory" email which was an email that introduced me to the entire company-with my picture, hobbies, background. I mean, someone must have voluntarily sent her that email -I'm sure my "friend" wasn't asking for it since she had no idea that email was suppose to be sent out. 

JTSW Established Member

JTSW

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Should I cut ties with her? Also, why the heck is someone informing her on what's happening in the dept if she's no longer employed there?

You shouldn't care because you are no longer there and it has no relevance anymore.

17 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Also, the fact someone in the dept took a picture of my introduction email and sent it to her via text so she can see...wow. Who does that? I'm really not that important. 

Again, it's now irrelevant.

I mean no offence at all saying this but every post you make is about someone different who you have a problem with.

All you do here is rant about someone and allot of unimportant stuff.

Are you ok?

If you need someone to talk to about anything you can DM me anytime :)

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Chloeflowers Established Member

Chloeflowers

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Posted (edited)

I should care because I don't what her being the "mole" and sharing info of what I do in my personal life if I were to still talk to her or even hang out with her. Whatever I share with her , I know for a fact she will gossip about my life to those other former coworkers and I don't want them to know anything about my life, I want to keep it that way. Lets say, I decide to hang out with her and get lunch..we will start talking and I will tell her stuff about my plans-she will surely go and start gossiping to them about it. As long as I don't have contact with her, she will not babble to those ex coworkers and know about my life. 

Seems like nobody understands on here and see my viewpoint. I'm a private person and would like to keep it that way. So I will block her and never talk to her again. 

Edited by Chloeflowers
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

Providing any discussion is made with respect and they aren't telling secrets, this is all pretty normal discussion among friends.  If you are concerned that one friend may speak of you to another friend, the best solution is to avoid friends who see you with other people 

ShyViolet Established Member

ShyViolet

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

I should care because I don't what her being the "mole" and sharing info of what I do in my personal life if I were to still talk to her or even hang out with her. Whatever I share with her , I know for a fact she will gossip about my life to those other former coworkers and I don't want them to know anything about my life, I want to keep it that way. Lets say, I decide to hang out with her and get lunch..we will start talking and I will tell her stuff about my plans-she will surely go and start gossiping to them about it. As long as I don't have contact with her, she will not babble to those ex coworkers and know about my life. 

I get it.  If you already know this about her, you clearly do not trust her, then obviously don't be friends with her anymore.  

Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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Posted
12 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

. I'm a private person and would like to keep it that way. So I will block her and never talk to her again. 

This is fine. There's no need to have coworkers or former coworkers on your personal social media.

At best, keep your LinkedIn profile up to date and only have "connections" with coworkers and former coworkers who you have a good rapport with.

Whatever these coworkers or former coworkers are gossiping about is annoying but not in your control except to block their access to your social media.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Posted
13 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

So I will block her and never talk to her again. 

That's fine. 

It doesn't sound like either of you is important to the other. Best you move on. 

Acacia98 Established Member

Acacia98

Posted
Posted
On 5/3/2023 at 8:16 PM, Chloeflowers said:

I'm a private person and would like to keep it that way. So I will block her and never talk to her again. 

That's perfectly fine.

NuevoYorko Established Member

NuevoYorko

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Do you have any friends?  Would you like to have some?

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  • 3 weeks later...
Ageless Wisdom23 Established Member

Ageless Wisdom23

Posted
Posted

Stay civil but don't allow yourself to get involved so you are not the bad coworker around the water cooler.

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