Ghosted after 10 years

[livelyjas]

So i met a girl 10 years ago. We dated a bit, she called things off but suggested a FWB thing. So we did that off and on for 7 years. She never seemed to want to date(which I would have been fine with). We would both date people and end up hooking up again when we were available and always remained friends. She ended up having a kid with a guy but that didn't work out. I got a GF at that point but we still talked. 

My gf and I broke up and she(fwb) and I were still friends, she told me she has always loved me and I said the same. We started actually dating for a couple months and everything was great.

Then absolute silence. No contact. No texts, no calls, no nothing. This has been for 8 months. I've sent her a few texts like trying to establish communication but nothing. I know she isn't dead because her business is still open.

Why would she do this? Should I go to her house and confront her or just give up? Normally if someone ghosts me I don't care but I have known this woman for 10 years.

Thanks

[Wiseman2]

47 minutes ago, livelyjas said:

. We started actually dating for a couple months and everything was great.

Then absolute silence. No contact. No texts, no calls, no nothing. This has been for 8 months. 

Does she have social media?  Do you have any mutual friends? Are you blocked? Did she meet someone?  There's nothing to "confront" so don't go to her house. Perhaps try to reflect and figure out what happened to her. 

[ShyViolet]

1 hour ago, livelyjas said:

Why would she do this? Should I go to her house and confront her or just give up?

You can't possibly be serious?  No, you shouldn't show up at her house.  You should generally never show up at people's houses uninvited; it's weird and intrusive.  

Yes it is sh*tty what she did, ghosting you.  If she no longer wanted to see you anymore she should have let you know.  But regardless, her relations with you over the past 10 years have always been inconsistent and flaky.  You shouldn't be entirely surprised by this.  She dumped you 10 years ago, and ever since then she has gone in and out of your life many times.  Let this be the last time.  Put an end to this and move on.

[livelyjas]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Does she have social media?  Do you have any mutual friends? Are you blocked? Did she meet someone?  There's nothing to "confront" so don't go to her house. Perhaps try to reflect and figure out what happened to her. 

No, no mutual friends, she lives 10 min from me but I didn't grow up in the area so my friends aren't local. Blocked, yes from her social media. 

By "confront" I don't mean that as start an argument. I mean to try and talk to her, if nothing more than to get done closure.

This woman would even say she wished that her kid was OUR kid. 

It's not like we dated for a month, we've been friends for 10 years! 

 

[livelyjas]

3 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

You can't possibly be serious?  No, you shouldn't show up at her house.  You should generally never show up at people's houses uninvited; it's weird and intrusive.  

Yes it is sh*tty what she did, ghosting you.  If she no longer wanted to see you anymore she should have let you know.  But regardless, her relations with you over the past 10 years have always been inconsistent and flaky.  You shouldn't be entirely surprised by this.  She dumped you 10 years ago, and ever since then she has gone in and out of your life many times.  Let this be the last time.  Put an end to this and move on.

Yea I hear u. I'm just trying to figure y someone would ghost someone after 10 years and saying they loved me. It's frustrating. We never had an argument or anything, everything was fine until she ghosted

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, livelyjas said:

. Blocked, yes from her social media.

If you're blocked something happened that she doesn't want contact. Closure was when she stopped contacting you and blocked you.

FWB often don't end well. This ended 8 months ago so it's time to let go. Try not to live in the past. 

.Do not show up to circumvent blocking. The last thing you need is getting arrested for trespassing or stalking.

Focus on yourself and get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women. Move forward not backward. 

Edited April 30, 2023 by Wiseman2

[ShyViolet]

1 hour ago, livelyjas said:

Yea I hear u. I'm just trying to figure y someone would ghost someone after 10 years and saying they loved me. It's frustrating. We never had an argument or anything, everything was fine until she ghosted

You keep saying "10 years".  It's not like you were with her for 10 years.  You had a very inconsistent on again/off again thing with her for the past 10 years.  She drifted in and out of your life.  She has done it yet again, it seems like maybe for whatever reason she decided to be done with you for good this time.

You will probably never get an answer to the question you are asking.  Closure is a gift you give yourself by moving on, not something that someone else gives you.

[ExpatInItaly]

9 hours ago, livelyjas said:

Should I go to her house and confront her or just give up?

Good heavens, no. Don't randomly show up where you're not expressly invited. 

9 hours ago, livelyjas said:

Why would she do this?

She probably has a new boyfriend who was not okay with a FWB being in contact with her. 

4 hours ago, livelyjas said:

This woman would even say she wished that her kid was OUR kid. 

This is nothing more than playing make-believe in her head. She apparently never wanted to date you, so saying things like this was plain silliness on her part. 

[JTSW]

You were never anything other than occasional sex buddies.

Maybe when she said she always loved you, she meant it just as a friend.

I tell my friends I love them.

But she also realised you meant it a different way so she backed off.

It sounds like you have been hopeful for 10 years of ending up with her.

It's time to drop the rope.