brittanyjean259 Posted November 6, 2005 Posted November 6, 2005 why does the pain of love make you feel like" life is over..." and that you could never love again..."..... it literally sucks out who you are.... does everyone go through painful break ups? i meen you cant be happy unless you deal with a little bit of pain right?.. how can you stop holding on to hope? if thats the only thing that makes you feel a little bit okay.. does anyone think god walks us through life...and knows whats best for us...and thats why it happens.. how can you just let go of memories...and why do they make you feel liek they will haunt you forever... do you think in the end, after all has happend and all is healed..you are a stronger and better person than you were be fore?
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Posted November 6, 2005 why does the pain of love make you feel like" life is over..." and that you could never love again..."..... it literally sucks out who you are.... Those who love deeply also feel the pain of loss deeply. This is not to be dismissed, because it's a fundamental part of your humanity and your integrity. does everyone go through painful break ups? i meen you cant be happy unless you deal with a little bit of pain right?.. Yea, pretty much everyone has to deal with this at some time or another. how can you stop holding on to hope? if thats the only thing that makes you feel a little bit okay.. Sometimes hope is the only light at the end of the tunnel. But those who hope when all is completely lost are not dealing with reality. So a balance must be struck. It's called the Stockdale paradox. does anyone think god walks us through life...and knows whats best for us...and thats why it happens.. That entirely depends on one's own belief systems. If you happen to be Christian, then yes. If Muslim, then it's Allah. If Buddhist, it's not a supreme being but your own inner voice. Whichever belief you ascribe to may give you comfort. how can you just let go of memories...and why do they make you feel liek they will haunt you forever... They feel like that when you're in the midst of them, but although the memories may last until your final moments, the pain of them will subside. do you think in the end, after all has happend and all is healed..you are a stronger and better person than you were be fore? Probably, yes. It depends, of course, on whether you use the pain and loss as a learning experience or as a reason to give up.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Posted November 6, 2005 thanks for the response, i always know the answers...but it helps so much to here it from some one else.....im sure every one knows how it feels... did you have those feelings of" oh ill never love again..." and did? thanks
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Posted November 6, 2005 did you have those feelings of" oh ill never love again..." and did? Oh, absolutely. When my first marriage collapsed under the gruesome weight of infidelity (hers, not mine), I was crushed. But, in time and with some "me" work, I learned to move on. You will too.
smile95 Posted November 6, 2005 Posted November 6, 2005 Oh, absolutely. When my first marriage collapsed under the gruesome weight of infidelity (hers, not mine), I was crushed. But, in time and with some "me" work, I learned to move on. You will too. How log did it take for you to stop missing her, being upset, etc?
slubberdegullion Posted November 6, 2005 Posted November 6, 2005 How log did it take for you to stop missing her, being upset, etc? After the breakup, we both moved: she into her new man's place about an hour's drive from my home, then shortly thereafter I moved across the country. So we didn't have any contact whatsoever, save the occasional legal document shuffle that went between our respective lawyers for the divorce. In total, it took about a month for the numbness to wear off, and after about 6 months I stopped mourning about the loss of the relationship. Strangely, we're now both single again and although we live about a 6-hour drive apart, we have more contact now than we did for years. The occasional phone call and letters are exchanged about every month. We've also travelled to each other's cities to visit, and we get along very well now, though neither of us have pursued any sort of sexual or romantic entanglement. Truthfully, I'm still crazy about her, but the pain is gone.
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 6, 2005 Author Posted November 6, 2005 well i have a question....from my story... i had been going out with someone for 3 years...and 3 months ago...i broke it off, said really angry things...and a week later he went to another girl...she moved in there...it took a little bit of time like 3 months to even feel a little bit better....and now i here hes moving.....out of state and that just made me feel exactly how i felt from day 1.......i guess i had some hope...but can you blame some1 for having hope..i love him so much and its soo hard to move on... but..... he hasnt talked to me and the last time he did he said" you did this to your self..." a friend told me he had looked in to my neighborhood witch is werid bc you cant even see my house...and i did see him in the car cuple weeks ago and he smiled shyly......what are the chances of him ever contacting me again..... honestly i feel like ill never see him again, and its just so hard to forget some1 that was a part of your life for 3 damn years......and they never talk to you again? werid?
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