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At what point are you 'taken'?


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Posted

Just a general question, I suppose... when you start dating someone casually....you want it to be exclusive, but haven't defined anything with the other person... when do you consider yourself off the market? Is it fair to say that you're making yourself unavailable even if he/she isn't yet?

Posted

I consider myself available until I have a verbal agreement with a girl that we're exclusive. Until then anything is fair game. I do, however, cut down on my options if I have a feeling I'm approaching exclusivity with one girl.

Posted

You shouldn't take yourself off the market if the other person isn't willing to. For me it's when the first of sex or the exclusivity conversation happen. Some people think that they're never off the market so there are no guarantees in life.

Posted

I don't think you're "off the market" until the exclusivity talk. I don't think it hurts to continue "dating", but no kissing, no making out with the "date" if you seriously like the one you want exclusivity with. That keeps any problems from coming back to haunt you later.

 

For one thing, it keeps the other person on their toes. They know that others desire you, and that you aren't just going to sit around and wait for him/her to call you. Shows that your outgoing, interesting, and have a life. And that others find you interesting.

 

Another is, your just dating. It's about having fun, not about being a nun. It'd be totally different if you're sleeping with all your dates.... but if you just go out for a drink and some laughter, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

However, after if the two of you have the talk, then no more outside dating. But up til that point, no ones made a commitment for a reason. So keep it fun and light.

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Posted

Thanks for the input. So the general consensus is you need to have an 'exclusivity talk'... If a girl initiates this conversation, does it tend to send the warning flags to the guy and scare him off? How do you get a sense of where the relationship is going without getting all serious and deep? I like to keep things really light hearted and fun, but also like to know where I stand with someone... in the past, I've never had a problem, the guy has always tried to "stake his claim" or "mark his territory" so to speak right away....

Posted

Yes when i date someone i am only with that person !!!

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