Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 1 minute ago, Alpacalia said: It sounds like he's kind of intense. yes, he is coming intense. Is it necessarily bad? I prefer moving slowly though. My ex was also a bit intense but it didnt work out for another reason
Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 2 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: Some women would feel charmed and flirty with his comments, and some women wouldn’t. yes I don't like such things especially pre meet. Too much too soon. I normally just want to meet a match and chat, get to know him better to understand if i want to meet him again. I am both sapio and demi sexual, so for me personality and connection is a key. It is also on my profile. I also quite clear in my communication on dates that I prefer to move slowly. Getting that from b/f is okay, but from a match on app .. 1
Alpacalia Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 1 minute ago, Marka said: yes, he is coming intense. Is it necessarily bad? I prefer moving slowly though. My ex was also a bit intense but it didnt work out for another reason It's bad if it makes you uncomfortable to the point that you feel he is a creep or a predator. I had a first date with someone who was a bit too forward, not with compliments, but it made me feel uneasy. I mentioned it to him, and he apologized. During the date, our conversation focused on our hobbies, interests, and lives. Although I didn't feel a strong connection, it was still an overall pleasant experience. It was just one date, so it's impossible to know how things would have developed if we had kept dating. It is hard to say definitively whether he is a creep or not without more information. It is possible he is trying to be nice and compliment you in order to get to know you better, but it could also be he is trying to come across as more impressive than he actually is. It is best to take everything he says with a grain of salt and be aware of your boundaries and what is appropriate. If his behavior or comments make you uncomfortable, it is best to speak up.
Gaeta Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Marka said: I normally just want to meet a match and chat, get to know him better to understand if i want to meet him again. Yes exchanging a bit online is ok but don't go into chatting mode thinking it will give you answers. The real test is in person, and it's just a coffee. I had grown very excited about online prospects and felt completely let down when I met them, and vice versa. Edited April 14, 2023 by Gaeta
Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I had grown very excited about online prospects and felt completely let down when I met them, and vice versa. Exactly, that's why I learnt not to get excited before the meeting. That way it it goes down - no disappointment, if it good then it is a bonus 1
Calmandfocused Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 (edited) 5 hours ago, Marka said: Yes, I live in the UK and we are going to a park in a city center, which is full of the people. The idea was his, mainly because of weather improving. I didn't mind to catch a bit of fresh air having to spend working week in an office. I don't know much about him, except that he is English and not that long ago returned from Singapore where he lived and worked for several years. Maybe it is okay to make such suggestions in Asia, not sure. I decided to give him a benefit of doubt but messaged that I would actually prefer a date in coffee shop. I have to head to city center anyway for some shopping, so spending an hour resting my feet in a coffeeshop would be a nice addition. It is more formal and safer as you never know if what people say about themselves on app is true. You’re in the U.K.? Me too. So I don’t need to you tell you that it is ball freezing in the U.K. at present. Unless you want to get yourself hospitalised with hypothermia I would seriously advise against wearing anything summer related, especially in a park. In any event, I do agree with the posters who are saying you may be overreacting. He’s not “telling” you what to wear. He’s making it clear he likes a woman in a dress. Show me a man who doesn’t? Text messages can be very much misinterpreted. I think his intention was to have fun with you, naive to the fact that the comment was perceived by you as offensive. I wouldn’t advise that you judge someone on one silly text. Give him a chance and if he is a pervert or makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t see him again Simple. Edited April 14, 2023 by Calmandfocused 1
Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 12 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: You’re in the U.K.? Me too. So I don’t need to you tell you that it is ball freezing in the U.K. at present. Gonna be sunny and plus 16-18 at the weekend I am in south, but yeah in general I agree too soon for summer clothes anyway 1
Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: He’s making it clear he likes a woman in a dress. And I like men in suits, but would not think it is propriate to say since he is meeting me he has a good excuse to wear his most chic suit for our date If someone send you a message like this ahead 1st date, what would think? Edited April 14, 2023 by Marka 1
Calmandfocused Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 TBH I’m not the best person to ask this question, My view (which I say a lot on here) is that daters spend too much time texting and that too much emphasis is placed on a text messages/ text behaviour. So to answer your question: the text may trigger my perv detector slightly but I wouldn’t read too much into it. It’s a text at the end of the day. And in my view it’s very difficult to assess suitability , compatibility or someone’s character based on texts alone. I’ve dated men before who sent the most wonderful, engaging texts who turn out to be the most socially awkward individuals I’ve ever met. Vice versa situations have also been common. Sorry if that’s not helpful. 1
Starrs Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 Tbh I don’t see anything wrong, you should wear a dress anyways. Look all sexy for him hehe
Author Marka Posted April 14, 2023 Author Posted April 14, 2023 36 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said: TBH I’m not the best person to ask this question, My view (which I say a lot on here) is that daters spend too much time texting and that too much emphasis is placed on a text messages/ text behaviour. Apologies, I thought you are a man not a woman, hence the example with suit
Versacehottie Posted April 14, 2023 Posted April 14, 2023 1 hour ago, Marka said: And I like men in suits, but would not think it is propriate to say since he is meeting me he has a good excuse to wear his most chic suit for our date If someone send you a message like this ahead 1st date, what would think? I think women have a lot more leeway in saying a comment like above...I mean this thread alone sort of is evidence of that. If I woman says something meant to be flattering, in general, a guy is going to like it or pay it little attention if he doesn't like it. Good guess is that the only reason a guy "wouldn't" like it is not for perv or creeper explantations concluded by it but because he literally is not a suit guy at all, so he'd fear or lose interest because he'd think you guys aren't compatible. So IMO it's like comparing apples and oranges because the inferences are different..a hypothetical comment like that toward a man lands totally differently.
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