JTSW Posted April 19, 2023 Posted April 19, 2023 On 4/18/2023 at 5:02 AM, Black Cement said: Well I was testing her to see how she would react. I know it's not right, but she's still around, she didn't block me like girls in the past would have done. This actually says allot about you. You like to test women and by the sound of this comment, many girls have blocked you because of it. I'll tell you now, women don't like to be tested. They don't like being humiliated when their bf posts a pic with another girl. They definitely don't like the way you seem to treat women. You are the cause of all this. It's no wonder girls run. 3
Author Black Cement Posted April 20, 2023 Author Posted April 20, 2023 Well I saw her tonight because she asked me to drop off something of hers. We chatted for a minute, I told her I had to go, she ran up and hugged me with tears in her eyes. But I just left without saying anything. IDK, I'm torn but I know I gotta turn my back on her
ExpatInItaly Posted April 20, 2023 Posted April 20, 2023 Are you actually reading and taking in poster's comments, OP? You demonstrate very little insight into your own behaviour with this woman. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 20, 2023 Posted April 20, 2023 1 hour ago, Black Cement said: Well I saw her tonight because she asked me to drop off something of hers. I gotta turn my back on her It's good you ended things. It wasn't working out. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps, now that there's no need to communicate or antagonize each other any more. Free yourselves from this. 1
Author Black Cement Posted April 20, 2023 Author Posted April 20, 2023 8 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Are you actually reading and taking in poster's comments, OP? You demonstrate very little insight into your own behaviour with this woman. It's her laptop what am I gonna do, ignore her? At least I didn't give in to her and try to make up, I walked away.
JTSW Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 On 4/20/2023 at 7:57 AM, Black Cement said: Well I saw her tonight because she asked me to drop off something of hers. We chatted for a minute, I told her I had to go, she ran up and hugged me with tears in her eyes. But I just left without saying anything. IDK, I'm torn but I know I gotta turn my back on her Why exactly did you treat her like that? That was really shitty of you. 16 hours ago, Black Cement said: It's her laptop what am I gonna do, ignore her? At least I didn't give in to her and try to make up, I walked away. What? You still haven't realised that you are the one that did wrong have you. You are treating her like she has wronged you when she hasn't. I hope she finds someone who knows how to treat her with respect, because you certainly don't know how to do that. She deserves so much better than this. 2
Wiseman2 Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 16 hours ago, Black Cement said: It's her laptop If she came over to collect her belongings, there's no reason to communicate or attempt to reconcile, because that means she's done. There's no point debating who broke up with who.. Delete and block and move forward.
semble Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 22 hours ago, Black Cement said: At least I didn't give in to her and try to make up, I walked away. If you hugged her back, and showed some real emotion, the outcome could have been far different. You are your own worst enemy. I'd say speak to a therapist but I doubt they'd make a dent. 3
Author Black Cement Posted April 21, 2023 Author Posted April 21, 2023 I know it was wrong of me to just leave her like that. I don't feel good about it either, it was bugging yesterday. I just sent her a quick text saying "I'm sorry I hurt you, what I've been doing to you is wrong. I've been letting my emotions get the best of me. I just don't want us having bitter feelings as we move on."
Wiseman2 Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Black Cement said: I just sent her a quick text saying "I'm sorry I hurt you, what I've been doing to you is wrong. I've been letting my emotions get the best of me. I just don't want us having bitter feelings as we move on." That's good for closure, but it's best to leave each other be for now. Don't leave the door open. All you can do is regroup and reflect on an improved approach for the next situation. 2
Author Black Cement Posted April 21, 2023 Author Posted April 21, 2023 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: That's good for closure, but it's best to leave each other be for now. Don't leave the door open. All you can do is regroup and reflect on an improved approach for the next situation. Yeah, I just wanted to let her know how I really felt. I don't expect anything from her
Author Black Cement Posted April 21, 2023 Author Posted April 21, 2023 13 hours ago, JTSW said: Why exactly did you treat her like that? That was really shitty of you. What? You still haven't realised that you are the one that did wrong have you. You are treating her like she has wronged you when she hasn't. I hope she finds someone who knows how to treat her with respect, because you certainly don't know how to do that. She deserves so much better than this. Because I wanted to avoid getting emotional. We had a heart to heart talk today, she express how she didn't appreciate me annoying her, taking little shots at her, always saying negative things but make it seem like I'm joking. That I've been making the relationship very unpleasant. I told her I was wrong, that her ignoring me made me do all those crazy things. But she forgave me and doesn't want to have negative feelings towards me anymore. I told her I just want to be friends because I'm not in the right mental state to be in a relationship right now. She said we can definitely still be friends still and hopes things will get better with me.
basil67 Posted April 21, 2023 Posted April 21, 2023 28 minutes ago, Black Cement said: I told her I was wrong, that her ignoring me made me do all those crazy things. You know this is the kind of thing an abuser will say. "She made me do it". Please start taking responsibility for your own behaviour. 6
ExpatInItaly Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 6 hours ago, Black Cement said: her ignoring me made me do all those crazy things. Absolutely not. You are an adult and in control of your own behaviour. You don't choose your emotions but you do choose your reaction to them. She didn't make you do anything. You still don't get it at all. 6
semble Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 14 hours ago, Black Cement said: I just sent her a quick text saying "I'm sorry I hurt you, what I've been doing to you is wrong. Actions speak louder than words, especially a few sentences stuck together in an almost insulting text, and even more-so when the words are completely contradicted by the hurtful actions. If you want things to get better- not just with her but with life in general, stop apologizing for your actions, develop a good sense of self accountability, stop blaming others for your mistakes, and make better choices. 1
Alpacalia Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 9 hours ago, Black Cement said: I told her I just want to be friends because I'm not in the right mental state to be in a relationship right now. She said we can definitely still be friends still and hopes things will get better with me. The situation was already deteriorating; you tried to salvage it, but it was too late. It's like trying to put out a fire after the entire house has burned down. It's impossible, and the effort is in vain. Since she was moving away and non-responsive, dating was pretty much out. When she knew you were testing her, she distanced herself from you. Your attempts to make her jealous for the reward of attention reveal a very low level of communication and maturity on your part. Next time, try to ditch the games, work on your insecurities, and make sure you are bringing something to her life that she prioritizes and wants to spend time with.
Wiseman2 Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 10 hours ago, Black Cement said: . I told her I just want to be friends because I'm not in the right mental state to be in a relationship right now. Unfortunately the journey of trying to go from friends to a relationship didn't work out. However there's no point trying to stay friends now that there's been too many misunderstandings. Try to make a clean break and move forward. If you are not ready for a relationship, that's fine. Just be clear moving forward. 1
Gaeta Posted April 22, 2023 Posted April 22, 2023 16 hours ago, Black Cement said: she express how she didn't appreciate me annoying her, taking little shots at her, always saying negative things but make it seem like I'm joking. This is a very toxic behavior and not only in your romantic relationships. If you are like that at work, with your friends and family, you will end up old and very alone. You need to understand why this is your defense mechanism so you stop doing it. A man your age should be able of introspection. As others have pointed, no one *make you be like this* you pick to be like this. It's time for you to make a turn around and seek to be a better partner. 2
Author Black Cement Posted April 30, 2023 Author Posted April 30, 2023 Update… I decided to go on a date with a new girl last night. I told a friend and she told my now ex about it. So now my ex has blocked me on everything. She’s the one who wanted me to find happiness and now that I’m trying to move on she’s hurt about it. What should I do? I’d rather be with her then try to find someone new…
Wiseman2 Posted April 30, 2023 Posted April 30, 2023 48 minutes ago, Black Cement said: . I told a friend and she told my now ex about it. So now my ex has blocked me on everything. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. If you want to date new women, do so to get to know them, not to get a reaction from an ex.
NuevoYorko Posted April 30, 2023 Posted April 30, 2023 Well ... just in case you ever date another woman and you think you like her, please remember all the ways you sabotaged this situation. I hope you've learned some thing.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 1, 2023 Posted May 1, 2023 5 hours ago, Black Cement said: What should I do? Nothing. You are not together and she didn't want to be with you anyway. Leave her alone.
Author Black Cement Posted May 1, 2023 Author Posted May 1, 2023 I asked her about it, she claims it’s about what I did before when we already moved past it and made amends. I told her it’s because she found out I started dating again and she claims she doesn’t know what I’m talking about and to leave her alone. She doesn’t want me, yet she doesn’t want me to be with anyone else. Whatever.
Wiseman2 Posted May 1, 2023 Posted May 1, 2023 4 hours ago, Black Cement said: .she doesn’t want me, yet she doesn’t want me to be with anyone else.. Don't date other women simply to drag out this breakup by trying to get reactions. Why haven't you deleted and blocked her? Try to get over it.
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