Op_Dagger Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 Ok, here's my story: I am a 17 year old guy, she's a 19 year old girl(although I'm sure you already guessed that by the fact I said 'she' xP). I have known her since I was in the 5th grade(I forget what age that is). About three months ago, I asked her if she would like to go on a date, and she said yes. A little while later, I asked her to be my steady girlfriend, to which she said sure. We dated for about three months, although we were unable to go on any real dates for almost that entire time. We just talked on the phone and hung out whenever we could(she is extremely busy with school and work right now, but I'm ok with it). But everything changed today. Apparently, she had a talk with her mom last night about many things. She has been quite stressed out lately, and her mom gave her some suggestions to help ease her stress. One suggestion was(you guessed it!) to break up with yours truly. So anyway, she broke up with me today, but it wasn't exactly a normal breakup. Usually, if you get dumped that's it, the person doesn't really want to see you anymore(most of the time), and you pretty much just go your seperate ways. But in my case, she still really likes me(and likewise). She assured me that she wasn't breaking up with me because she doesn't like me, or because of another guy or anything like that. Her mom basically wants her to take a break from dating for a while. She told me that once she starts dating again, she wants to date me again. I asked her where we stood exactly(because, to be honest, I was a bit confused at this point), and she said she wants us to basically be "friends who like each other." She still likes me, and vice versa, and wants to date just me when she starts dating again. Also, she still wants to talk to me and hang out sometimes. I go with her and her family to church each week, for instance, and she wants to continue to do that. She said it would be ok if I still called her, just not every day. And we planned on trying to get into a class together for this next semester of college, and she said she still wants to do that. So really, things don't seem to have changed all that much, which is kind of where I'm a bit confused. It also bears mentioning that her mom(and her, too xP) thinks I'm a great guy for her, and doesn't like hate me or anything(so that's not why she gave this advice). During the conversation that we had about all this stuff today, I told her that I would wait for her, because I truly care about her. I'm just really confused right now, and would like to get some other people's honest opinions on my situation. Here are some possibilities I have considered: 1. She really wants to date again eventually(whenever she is ready to date again), and I should just wait patiently for her, and just be a good friend that is there for her, but not forcing her to worry about real relationshippy(yes, that's a word, I just made it up, sue me xP) stuff, or immediate commitment to do things. 2. She is just doing this to appease her mother and keep the peace, and would really rather continue seeing me now. 3. She is actually trying to slowly phase me out of her life(I sure hope that this isn't it, because I would prefer to be broken up with in the normal direct way, ie "I really don't like you" or something, if that's the way it is)
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 It sounds like a little of all three. What to do is up to you. You can hang out with her and talk to her, but you would be best to accept that what you have now is the best you can expect and if you want a steady girlfriend you will want to slowly reduce your time with this girl and begin to look elsewhere. Go at your own pace, and do what feels right to you - just don't do anything based on what she may or may not want. Its pretty apparent that she likes things just like they are. If that isn't working for you, then move on.
downcydeguy Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 She's content with being your friend and that's it. Parents can become an interference to only a certain degree. If she truly wants to be with you, she would be, no matter what mom says. LB is right. You need to either accept her as just a friend and look elsewhere or tell her how you feel. Having known each other for so long pretty much puts you in the "friend only" category though. Good luck.
Author Op_Dagger Posted November 6, 2005 Author Posted November 6, 2005 Ok, here's how I've decided to proceed: I recently wrote her a poem for our three month anniversary. I think tommorrow I'll give it to her and just tell her that I wrote this for our anniversary, and wanted to go ahead and give it to her anyway. Maybe that will give her some stuff to think about. Anyway, other than that, I think that now I'll just go to no contact for a week or so and then get in touch with her and see what happens from there.
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