How big of a sign is it when a married woman stops wearing her ring to work?

[Philosopher1989]

14 minutes ago, BrinnM said:

I don’t know. A gut feeling is a gut feeling, I get that, and I give you that, sure, and the gut is often right, but I am finding it hard, based on what you wrote, to find any significant signs that would allow the conclusion that a) she’s removing her ring just to send you a signal, b) she’s in the middle of a separation or divorce, c) she’s flirtatious with you, and/or more flirtatious with you than with others (maybe that’s just her personality, or she’s just a compassionate, personable manager), d) she’s got any romantic or sexual interest in you. 
I can’t reliably draw any of these conclusions when I read your posts.

IF you’re interested in her (which is also not clear to me from reading your posts), you’d need to “probe” some more, eg during some personal conversations while you both work overtime or whatever. Provided you feel that’s safe. It’s super frowned upon, in most organizations, to start something with a coworker, let alone with a superior, as this might be regarded as a case of fraternization, and fewer and fewer HR departments tolerate this.

 

Since the ring dropped she's been actively showing signs. Small steps.. Head tilt, smile, hair twirl...

Prior to that we had fantastic chemistry.. But she contained herself more. I was chocked she was married with two small kids. Something is wrong for sure. 

If she was happily married, our chemistry would take months. And maybe, maybe she would reconsider her marriage. But as it stands, it's as if her husband doesn't exist. No mention of him. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[LynneVicious]

You’re making dangerous assumptions here. Are you the same poster who wrote about having a romantic connection with an employer during the interview? This has bad news written all over it and you’re projecting your feelings. 

Look for and date single women with no attachments. Not your married boss who you think takes her wedding ring off as a signal for you. Just stop. All of this is unhealthy. 

[Philosopher1989]

1 minute ago, LynneVicious said:

You’re making dangerous assumptions here. Are you the same poster who wrote about having a romantic connection with an employer during the interview? This has bad news written all over it and you’re projecting your feelings. 

Look for and date single women with no attachments. Not your married boss who you think takes her wedding ring off as a signal for you. Just stop. All of this is unhealthy. 

You were all wrong. Just admit it. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[Philosopher1989]

5 minutes ago, LynneVicious said:

 

 

 

5 minutes ago, LynneVicious said:

. 

Look for and date single women with no attachments. Not your married boss who you think takes her wedding ring off as a signal for you. Just stop. All of this is unhealthy. 

Enough with the preaching. I have a gut feeling which may be wrong, but I haven't been wrong about anything else. Including getting hired. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[Wiseman2]

35 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

, it's as if her husband doesn't exist. No mention of him. 

The husband may not exist in your mind because of a work crush. But that's who she goes home to.

Is this the same woman?:

 

[Philosopher1989]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

The husband may not exist in your mind because of a work crush. But that's who she goes home to.

Is this the same woman?:

 

You mean the man she won't show her commitment to after she met me? You guys said I was a delusional loser.. 

Care to apologize? 

[LynneVicious]

4 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

You mean the man she won't show her commitment to after she met me? You guys said I was a delusional loser.. 

Care to apologize? 

How do you know she doesn’t show commitment to her husband? Are you in their home monitoring their interactions? Are privy to her phone conversations with her husband and her life with him? Do you not see it’s an enormous stretch to come to the conclusion you’ve come to because she didn’t wear her wedding ring a few times? Unless of course she’s told you she’s in love with you and is leaving her husband?

[Philosopher1989]

2 minutes ago, LynneVicious said:

How do you know she doesn’t show commitment to her husband? Are you in their home monitoring their interactions? Are privy to her phone conversations with her husband and her life with him? Do you not see it’s an enormous stretch to come to the conclusion you’ve come to because she didn’t wear her wedding ring a few times? Unless of course she’s told you she’s in love with you and is leaving her husband?

Fine. What do you think is the likely reason for it? I am at the very least assuming the husband is toast. She wore it when we first met. 

[BrinnM]

You’ll find out sooner or later whether or not it’s because of you that she’s not wearing her ring. Could be a million different reasons. I personally don’t think it’s because of you. But who knows…… like I said - gut feelings are often right. 
If they’re getting a divorce, it’s unlikely to be because of you, though, because she literally just met you. No sane woman who meets a new male employee gets divorced 2 weeks after the interview, because she might develop a crush on him. Unless you’ve known her longer, and you’re just not saying that. Other than that, most of what you’re saying sounds like a coincidence to me.

[Philosopher1989]

10 minutes ago, BrinnM said:

You’ll find out sooner or later whether or not it’s because of you that she’s not wearing her ring. Could be a million different reasons. I personally don’t think it’s because of you. But who knows…… like I said - gut feelings are often right. 
If they’re getting a divorce, it’s unlikely to be because of you, though, because she literally just met you. No sane woman who meets a new male employee gets divorced 2 weeks after the interview, because she might develop a crush on him. Unless you’ve known her longer, and you’re just not saying that. Other than that, most of what you’re saying sounds like a coincidence to me.

My gut feeling is that it's due to me that the ring is gone, to signal openness. I don't think I single handedly broke the marriage. 

One can be true without the other. 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[Philosopher1989]

There's another thing which is that I am getting more and more attached to her emotionally even though she doesn't really do much out of the ordinary. We are just sitting together in the lunch breaks. 

The longer we spend time together, the more I feel drawn to her. 

My gut feeling was that my girlfriend was interviewing me. The longer we sat and I looked into her eyes, the more fishy it felt. And she didn't take charge. 

If anything, this saga will show how much the brain can (or can't) signal in advance.