How big of a sign is it when a married woman stops wearing her ring to work?

[Philosopher1989]

She had the ring ON when first meeting me. Took it off both times I've been there since hired. We have definite romantic tension in the air, flirt back and forth. It's a little bit awkward, sometimes pauses. But we both really dig each other.. So it's romantically awkward.. 

But... will she go all the way..? And when? 

 

How big of a sign is it when a woman clearly stops using her ring.. in conjuction with the events above?

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[OurLoveTurnsToRust]

Worry more about your job, less about this woman.

[Wiseman2]

30 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

But... will she go all the way..? And when? How big of a sign is it when a woman clearly stops using her ring.. 

Try to stay polite and professional at work. Especially avoid married people or workplace romances. Consider dating single women outside of work for more a success.

[Philosopher1989]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try to stay polite and professional at work. Especially avoid married people or workplace romances. Consider dating single women outside of work for more a success.

I don't know for sure that the ring is taken off due to me. But if I had a gun to my head, I would say yes.... 

 

[Philosopher1989]

12 minutes ago, OurLoveTurnsToRust said:

Worry more about your job, less about this woman.

So you don't think she will make a move? 

[JTSW]

5 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

So you don't think she will make a move? 

She's married so don't go there.

Dissociate yourself from her. 

[Philosopher1989]

2 minutes ago, JTSW said:

She's married so don't go there.

Dissociate yourself from her. 

 

Taking of the ring might mean that she won't be for long.. 

[Philosopher1989]

31 minutes ago, JTSW said:

 

Dissociate yourself from her. 

Women who are happily married or in a healthy relationship don't make themselves emotionally available like this. It wouldn't even be possible to get this ball rolling. 

But she has to finalize the process. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[smackie9]

well you seem to have it all figured out...you don't need our opinions tbh. You do what is in your best interest and see how it goes. . .you could just ask her about it, and maybe that will start a conversation to clear up some questions. 

[NuevoYorko]

Whether she wears a wedding ring, goes to the hairdresser, eats dim sum or Big Macs is absolutely none of your business 

I can assure you of this:  If the woman, who I believe is your superior at work, wants to have sex with you, she's not going to bother trying to pretend she's not married while at work in order to lure you in.  That would be stupid.

All the people there know she's married.  She has established relationships with  co-workers who probably even know her husband.  Taking a ring off is not going to keep it a secret from the new hire in her workplace.

So an office fling for her would not include trying hide her marital status.  She'll just jump you in the unisex bathroom or whatever, if that's her master plan.   

For the record, I strongly doubt that anything like that is going on, and that you're behaving very strangely at your new job.   

 

[Els]

Maybe it just hits the keys too much when she's typing...

[Philosopher1989]

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

 

I can assure you of this:  If the woman, who I believe is your superior at work, wants to have sex with you, she's not going to bother trying to pretend she's not married while at work in order to lure you in.  That would be stupid.

 

 

I don't think that either. I think she does it to signal that it's over over or damn near, to not lose our connection.. Otherwise she couldn't assume that I would play a long with her flirting, I would just nod approvingly, seeing the ring on her. 

 

 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[Philosopher1989]

1 hour ago, smackie9 said:

well you seem to have it all figured out...you don't need our opinions tbh. You do what is in your best interest and see how it goes. . .you could just ask her about it, and maybe that will start a conversation to clear up some questions. 

You tell me... Whenever I speak and we make eye contact, she stops... And it puts me off my track to.. so I stop... Lol. 

That to me is love-ish..not horny. Bcorrect me if I'm wrong. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[Philosopher1989]

1 hour ago, Els said:

Maybe it just hits the keys too much when she's typing...

How come it didn't hit the keys before I was hired. 

[Alpacalia]

Have you considered that this removal of a ring may be due to the fear of hurting her career progression? There still exists a societal perception that married women are not able achieve success in both their careers and family life.

[Philosopher1989]

5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Have you considered that this removal of a ring may be due to the fear of hurting her career progression? There still exists a societal perception that married women are not able achieve success in both their careers and family life.

She's the manager. 

Edited March 21, 2023 by Philosopher1989

[BrinnM]

30 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

How come it didn't hit the keys before I was hired. 

How would you know? Did somebody tell you that? 
People don’t wear their rings for many reasons. They might be forgetful, leaving it at home, or they have plans to go to the gym right after work where they don’t want to wear any jewelry. The list goes on. Sure, it could mean that they’re splitting up, but that’s a very far-fetched conclusion if the ring itself is your only clue. Wayyyyy far-fetched! 

Edited March 21, 2023 by BrinnM

[Alpacalia]

6 minutes ago, Philosopher1989 said:

She's the manager. 

Then best be careful you don't get fired.

[Philosopher1989]

Just now, BrinnM said:

How would you know? Did somebody tell you that? 
People don’t wear their rings for many reasons. They might be forgetful, leaving it at home, or they have plans to go to the gym right after work where they don’t want to wear them. The list goes on. Sure, it could mean that they’re splitting up, but that’s a very far-fetched conclusion if the ring itself is your only clue. Wayyyyy far-fetched! 

She's done it twice in a row now. The ring isn't coming back on. I first thought like you, some appointment that day "coincidence". It's not. 

 

1 minute ago, Alpacalia said:

Then best be careful you don't get fired.

We were supposed to say goodbye for her vaccation last week. I did it privately with her, since I happened to be sitting with her in the office. 

She came back today to say hello. Lasted 7 days.. Vaccation was supposed to be 14 days.

She did NOT say when we said goodbye last week that she would come in anyway. 

 

 

[Philosopher1989]

Wouldn't it be funny if she just fires me

There's not a snowballs chance in hell that she will. But it would be funny if she's in love and fires me. 

[smackie9]

1 hour ago, Philosopher1989 said:

You tell me... Whenever I speak and we make eye contact, she stops... And it puts me off my track to.. so I stop... Lol. 

That to me is love-ish..not horny. Bcorrect me if I'm wrong. 

This is your perception....but if any one of us is there observing not being emotionally involved may see it as something else. 

[Philosopher1989]

Just now, smackie9 said:

This is your perception....but if any one of us is there observing not being emotionally involved may see it as something else. 

This was the job interview in nutshell, which had all the hallmarks of a date (which I knew would be both good and bad) 

Me: say something! 

She: okey here we go. Areas of improvement? 

Who's the boss? 

 

 

[Alpacalia]

Try wearing a shirt that says "fire me" on it. It shows that you're confident and direct, and also that you have a sense of humor.

 

[Philosopher1989]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Try wearing a shirt that says "fire me" on it. It shows that you're confident and direct, and also that you have a sense of humor.

 

She said today: I'm very subtle (as a person) 

Me: "oh no you aren't "

Her: OH! 

.  

I know it's brutal but I adore her and I love teasing.. Always have, always will. And I only do it with people I love...... 

 

[BrinnM]

I don’t know. A gut feeling is a gut feeling, I get that, and I give you that, sure, and the gut is often right, but I am finding it hard, based on what you wrote, to find any significant signs that would allow the conclusion that a) she’s removing her ring just to send you a signal, b) she’s in the middle of a separation or divorce, c) she’s flirtatious with you, and/or more flirtatious with you than with others (maybe that’s just her personality, or she’s just a compassionate, personable manager), d) she’s got any romantic or sexual interest in you. 
I can’t reliably draw any of these conclusions when I read your posts.

IF you’re interested in her (which is also not clear to me from reading your posts), you’d need to “probe” some more, eg during some personal conversations while you both work overtime or whatever. Provided you feel that’s safe. It’s super frowned upon, in most organizations, to start something with a coworker, let alone with a superior, as this might be regarded as a case of fraternization, and fewer and fewer HR departments tolerate this.

 

Edited March 21, 2023 by BrinnM